Seven masked midgets were spotted running amok in a DC Starbucks today. No one was hurt, but damage was done to several skirting boards and light sockets as a white woman with a tiara and broom feverishly chased after them.
Shortly thereafter, word spread that Kevin McCarthy’s office will assuage Republican fears about his spineless UniParty propensity by working with Democrats to construct the roadmap for his inevitable installation.
(WASHINGTON DC) – Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) on Wednesday failed to secure the Speakership on the House’s fourth vote. Preliminary vote totals showed him getting 201 votes, short of the 218 required to secure the gavel.
Rep. Don Bacon (R-Neb.) on Wednesday said “preliminary talks” had begun with Democrats about supporting a “consensus candidate” for Speaker. Bacon told CNN, however, he wanted to hold back on the details of the conversations so as to not get ahead of the negotiations.
“There are preliminary talks, but we don’t want to go too fast on this because that then highjacks what Kevin is trying to do, and we want to support Kevin, he’s worked hard to get this,” Bacon said. (read more)
“This is no small thing, to restore a republic after it has fallen into corruption. I have studied history for years and I cannot recall it ever happening. It may be that our task is impossible. Yet, if we do not try then how will we know it can’t be done? And if we do not try, it most certainly won’t be done. The Founders’ Republic, and the larger war for western civilization, will be lost.”
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. THY WILL BE DONE, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but DELIVER US FROM EVIL.

