This story seems to start in an existing conversation. That’s because it actually does. This was my reply in a conversation over at Stella’s Place last April. One of our Treeper’s was talking about helping his dad downsize, and working with his sisters to clean out some old stuff. In that conversation, I told this really unusual story of an experience related to cleaning out my mother’s home.
I’m hoping some of you have some stories to relate, stories that end with a twist, like this one did. Sometimes life gives strange surprises.
Share a tale or two with us today.
T, my mother was a hoarder before it was a tv thing, and they are mostly probably amateurs. Don’t know, don’t watch. Boy have I got a funny, sad story for you, since Sharon put me in the mood for a good story.
This is one of the gosh darndest stories of my life. Apologies all, this is a long story.
My mother died in 1998, probably one of the peak periods of my life in terms of pressure, stress, kids still in high school, job, etc. She left a house that had a two to three foot wide path through it, with an empty spot or two on the couch, her chair, and less than half her king sized bed. No one had been able to see the kitchen table or counter for many years.
She also had four outbuildings that had to be cleaned out. My brother declared himself “unable to deal with it yet” and in the 4+ months it took to get it done, he remained unable to deal with anything but bringing his wife religiously every weekend to plunder what I’d uncovered that they wanted.
All my life I’d been super ashamed of how we lived, and I was even then. My two sons who were still at home would come help when they weren’t working. My husband did not get back from work until after 7:30 at night, so he was only able to help some on Sundays if I wasn’t at work then.
I was working at Home Depot and I was on the cusp of getting promoted from hourly department head to my first management position. Even though I could only work off days and mornings on the days I closed, I refused to accept help except from my husband and sons, and one of his sisters.
My mother would never tell me where any valuables were, and I couldn’t even find her important papers, which were not in the box at the bank. So, I could not just throw things out, especially papers, and she had all the usual hoarder magazines and newspapers from umpteen years ago, etc.
My sister in law and I found many, many things that made us go, huh? Bags of leaves in the closet, big green garage bags. In one storage building there were garbage bags full of paper towel pasteboard centers and empty milk jugs.
But the all time most baffling one was found in the built in wall hutch in the dining room of the old house. We opened the doors at the bottom, and the first thing I tried to remove was a smaller garbage bag. Only to find it didn’t budge, it was too heavy.
My sister in law had a real appreciation for antiques, and quite a bit of knowledge of them, and while I was miserable, she was ever hopeful of finding great treasure. She shoved me out of the way and began speculating what we might have found, even wondering if it might be a big chunk of gold.
So, I tore open the bag, only to find a big heavy thing wrapped in foil, tore off the foil, which was old and not tearing well. There were layers of paper towels. Our anticipation rose higher. Another layer of foil under paper towels, I’m not kidding, and one last layer of paper towels.
At that point, even I was excited. What could she have treasured that much to have so carefully wrapped and stored it?
Well, it was a big round, kind of flat on the bottom creek rock. I marched outside and tossed it off the porch into the grass and hedges.
Over the years I often wondered about that rock and why she kept it. She was a hoarder, but aside from whatever causes that, she wasn’t mentally ill. Of course, I resigned myself to never knowing. And this is where it gets really weird and interesting.
A few years later I was at work and heard my name being called. A new hire at the Depot introduced herself and explained that our mothers had been best friends. They’d met on a cruise ship, taken trips to Hawaii several times, and had lots of adventures here at home too. I became good friends with the daughter.
Eventually one day, years later when we were having dinner and talking about our moms, I told her and her partner the rock story. She got this really amazed look on her face and said “Menagerie, I can tell you why she had that rock.”
Every New Years the moms cooked black eyed peas and greens. I’m sure you know, it’s a Southern thang. They decided they wanted kraut. My Mama had tons of huge crocks. They made the best friend’s husband take them up Sand Mountain to a wide, shallow creek filled with big rocks.
Apparently they spent an hour or two making him wade and turn over rocks until he found one just the right size and kind of flat on the bottom. Perfect for mashing down the cabbage in the crock. And every year they had kraut on New Years.
My friend and I still laugh about it, and my sister in law was floored to finally have the mystery of Mama’s rock solved.
i love you my friend
Love it! Nothing better than fresh kraut. I call my house a black hole, although I do go thru it regularly to recycle, rehome, resell and donate to charities.
I must tespectfully disagree. Even though I’m half German, I’m pretty sour on ‘kraut
Seriously, I cant stand the stuff
Ja!
same for German chocolate cake and potato salad.
Yuk!
We had a large family when I was growing up, 70 or 80 people at my grandparents house for reunions.
My cousin always made two German Chocolate cakes (8 layer 1/2 inch thick with 1/2 inch icing).
They were absolutely beautiful.
One for the reunion, one for me to take home. That is probably one of the reasons I am overweight now 60+ later. German Chocolate is still my favorite dessert, although none seem to compare to the ones she made.
Thank you, Menagerie .You’re a treasure at the Tree House. I always look forward to your articles.
Nanny died long ago and I have baked German chocolate cake many years at Christmas. Then, my mom and sister and dad followed Nanny. I tried baking the cake for my grandchildren, but i used the wrong flour and it was inedible. Maybe I will do that next year for Christmas.
Today my grandchildren celebrated Christmas at my house. As I sped through child proofing for the almost 3 yo, I was thinking I would be able to toss the door knob covers and the slings for double doors pretty soon.
The eldest girl read her book, the next girl was happy to have an outfit to match her doll’s, the boys played cars with a thrift track I bought long ago. They all had fun with the foam ball shooter party favors. The eldest girl harvested the first tiny carrot, the eldest boy helped get some red potatoes and everyone tried something green and edible even the almost 3 yo.
Daddy told granny that number 5 was on the way. YES!!! He’s going to have to take extra care of momma because the last one hurt her back and was and is a handful. So, all that stuff I thought I would be able to put away, is staying put.
only on hotdogs – wait…ribs and kraut are welcome here anytime
I have hated it ever since the first time my mom foisted the horrid stuff on us kids .
I grew up on kraut.
My mother made it with brown sugar and chopped onions.
It was wonderful. I still make it myself sometimes.
I like regular kraut but I prefer my mother’s version.
Sounds good! The brown sugar angle especially.
For us, we do kraut with chopped sweet onions, a tablespoon or two of fresh ginger root and a big dollop of soy sauce. With chunks of pork, of course.
Mine would make it several ways although I like it plain or with onions, the best was with brown sugar and apples. 😍
*baked with kielbasa
Thank you for bringing a a smile to my face.
I’ve already apologized to my kids for the shop full of stuff they will have to deal with someday, but until that day – I’m not getting rid of anything.
My childhood years were unsettling. I had the opposite problem, however. When I turned 18 our family home was sold out from under us, in accordance with my parents’ divorce decree.
In the ensuing frenzy we lost many of our pictures, our family heirlooms and prized possessions which were poorly packaged and shipped across the country. Unbeknownst to me, my older brother had taken all of our Christmas ornaments and given them away to his coworkers.
Mama was a rolling stone. She never saved anything of value, sentimental or otherwise, it all wound up in a hock shop whenever she needed the cash.
Me? I have visions of dividing my massive collection of holiday decor, Christmas ornaments and outdoor displays amongst all our children, once they have settled into their own households. Although my girls live 4-8 hours away, they still return home to celebrate the holidays.
But my mind is already going.. who will want the ‘village’ my mother in law had lovingly gifted us, one piece at a time, throughout the years? Who will want the Peanuts characters? The nativity set?
We have bins.. and more bins.. filled with family treasures stuffed inside the attic. My husband is worse than I am. He saves big, clunky things like a plastic lawnmower our son used to push around the yard behind his dad.
I save all of our pictures and videos, and all of the holiday decorations, right down to the tinsel. When it comes to memories of days gone by, we are stuffed to the brim.
Search for those items on eBay and other resellers, you might be surprised at their value. Contact a reseller that might live nearby to offer if they want to take these things off your hands. Watch a few YouTube videos from resellers and it might open your eyes.
“Me? I have visions of dividing my massive collection of holiday decor, Christmas ornaments and outdoor displays amongst all our children, once they have settled into their own households.”
When I and my four sisters received a similar gift from our mom we all knew it was a rare treasure.
I hope your children feel the same way when the day comes!
Suggestion: Are you OK with technology? Over the next year, take photos of items in the bins. Use PowerPoint, or some such program, to insert the photos and make comments. Label things as valuable (financial) or sentimental (and why).
Thank you, I will look into doing something like that. I have certain clothing saved as well, like my children’s old team jerseys and dance costumes.
Some people make patchwork quilts from these articles of clothing. I would love to gift my children with their own memory quilts..
My wife just finished the last quilt for the grandkids using their old t-shirts. Just looking at the finished quilt brought back a lot of precious memories.
I must be getting sentimental in my old age. I am sitting here with eyes misted over with tears just thinking of the hard times that the grandkids will have to endure.
Please Smedley, we are still here and we have no intention of leaving things in this sorry state to any of them.
There aren’t many families that don’t have hoarders. They will never see that they are hoarders but they are. In my family, I think it’s me. No rocks here (except the ones in my head) but I am bad for not throwing out the unused box of wood flooring, an unreturned piece of plywood, scrap boards, old jars, some clothes that I think might serve another purpose around the house, etc. One day I’ll get everything thrown out (I hope). The important stuff the children all know where I keep. Other than that, there is not too much of value, except to me!
I love your story, Menagerie…esp how it ends…! a2n8… :
I am the hoarder variety of….”I can’t throw this out because in two weeks I will need it”…(secondary variety-from my Irish Grandma who had poverty stricken and kept everything of possible ‘value’)…
..fully cognizant of the fact that my “need” is ONLY generated when I toss the item..
..I am sure that there is either a Schrödinger or some other Quantum Physics theory associated to the energy generated by tossing an item?
Other hoarded items… puppy’s first collar, dog’s first agility ribbons, dog’s first toy…dog’s last toy…(it took me a year to toss Blaze’ beat up old soft crate)…
I tossed a small box of stuff once…and did not look in it…there had been a bag of valuable jewelry, now safely positioned in the depths of Mount Trashmore…..
As soon as I throw something out I end up needing it a week later!
same.
Yes! Been there done that… I do throw, but carefully, no impulse throwing. I wait several weeks before actually throwing or giving something away. I’ve had few regrets now – lol.
“…I am bad for not throwing out the unused box of wood flooring, an unreturned piece of plywood, scrap boards, old jars…”
I’ve always told my wife I’m not the only one! LOL!
You are not, Sir. Allow me to introduce you to my husband. 🙂
I have taken to shredding cardboard boxes, but the jars are handy for seedlings and ground spices.
Ditto! 😉
Marvelous mom story. Mine was my best friend after I packed my Buick and left home at 18 for CO back in 1970. Funny how we didn’t get along those last few years I was home.
My mom passed about the same time as yours. And my glass business was really going great guns, I was working 7 days a week. I went home to Chicago for her funeral, stayed in her apartment in my sister’s home the few days I was in town.
One day Nancy came in and told me she had been “cleaning up” the apartment after Mom had been removed from her bedroom. What she meant she had been black bagging our Mother’s belongings. There were several large garbage bags, cinched up in the corner.
Well I was kinda aghast that Nancy would do that. I opened these bags and went through all of the items. There were still a lot of things displayed in her rooms too. She had kept every card and letter I had written her, all my glass gifts that I had made for her. Lots of mementos that I had no idea what they meant. Souvenirs from places she had visited, that kind of thing. She collected handblown Venetian clowns and I took all of those.
Luckily I had taken my company van to get to Chicago rather than fly, I felt I needed the long drive to collect myself. I loaded my van with most of those black bags’ contents. I have several things on display with in sight here in my bedroom and have carted most of these items around for the past almost 30 years. I’ve given some of those clowns to good friends, they are gifts that mean a lot to me so you can bet they are truly good friends.
We talked frequently on the phone, sometimes even more than once in a day. She’d say, what do you want now(in that think Chicago accent)? I still miss her every day. I went home every year for Christmas and always stopped in Chicago to see her on my runs to the east coast. Haven’t been back since.
🙏💕
Blessings.
Best to you and yours.
Your story is much more pleasant than my experience.
I find myself often driving by my mom’s old place often.
My husband’s family on his father’s side had some hoarders. Luckily he has only a touch of it. I, on the other hand, am a minimalist. I think it is sentimentality rather than practicality that drives most of it
My mom made kraut in the same kind of crock. She used two bricks. She wasn’t a hoarder, but my oldest daughter is.
It is stories like this that help keep your mother alive in your heart
The comments on this thread are downright wonderful, but this one seems to encapsulate all of the others.
Menagerie, you just became human to me. Thank you.
Did you retrieve the rock?
Yeah. Poor rock out there alone in the darkness. Does anyone here remember Pet Rocks? I used to have 3. They all grew up and left home.
Yes, mine did the same thing: they never call! How hard is it to pick up the phone?
Oh, yeah, no hands or arms, still, they could do something!
Tap out Morse Code!
Talk to text? Wait, no mouth…
My pet rock never calls.. Too dumb, I guess.
Hey that’s where, “dumber than a box of rocks” came from.
These beautiful, sometimes sad,even heart wrenching tales of nostalgia are the way we eternalize memories.Some of our loved ones were pack rats or hoarders if you will ,but all were fearfully and wonderfully made by our most Gracious God.
😀
And to think I could have been selling rocks getting rich instead of crawling through the mud in utility trenches, jacking walls, glulams, and trusses in the cold rain.
Maybe I’ll invent the Pet Radish? Or Mr. Acorn Squash?
Yes, I am concerned about that beloved rock!
My husband’s grandma had a kitchen knife that was worn down to the point of being useless. The blade was wide at the handle, thinned down the middle to almost nothing, and rounded at the end. He saved it as a memento from her. He also saved a plastic contraption with a handle that she used to keep her milk and OJ containers in.
One of my Grandmothers had a knife just like you’ve described. She called it her “toadstabber.” Born in 1888, her lineage was mostly French and she loved fried frog legs, so it was an import implement in her farmhouse kitchen.
She loved horses and was a cowgirl in her youth. I have some great pictures that I treasure, of her on horseback, and my Grandfather as well, also on horseback and wearing a pair of huge, wooly looking chaps, and another of him in the bunkhouse at night, writing a letter by lamplight, likely to her. The location was Montana.
When I knew them,they were living in my Grandfather’s home state, Ohio, and farmed a small, 100 acre farm together in the heart of Amish country. Horses, cows, bulls, pigs, chickens, you name it. Sugar bush, huge garden, many fruit trees and bushes. We spent most of our summers there as children. It was my idea of Heaven on earth. The smell alone (I’m a big smell person) made me ecstatic.
What a great memory, Menagerie and so well told….
I’m surrounded by many of “my mother’s things”. She was born in 1905. She died in 1997.
I’m not a hoarder. These everyday, visible things in my home surround me because they are favorite things, but they are useful to me and used by me. Most of them would not be found anywhere for purchase today and I wouldn’t purchase them for myself even if I could….
Like the cedar chest [1926–by train from Minneapolis to the Montana prairie]; the Danish Christmas plate collection {a collection my mother built starting in the 1950s]; intricately beautiful hand-crocheted dresses for a little girl [my mother’s hands made my dressy-dresses, with little satin slips to match]; the simple, round thin metal cookie cutter that she made equally thin rolled out sugar cookies with in the 1940s and through my growing up years {I used it last a couple weeks ago]; HER mother’s devotional book purchased in the 1920s [Streams in the Desert] and her Francis Schaeffer book collection and, several kiln-fired mother-of-pearl vases given to her as personal gifts by farm neighbors who got into that hobby in the 1950s when it was a thing for farm wives to do.
Her 12-setting sterling silver is my everyday tableware. I started using it as “everyday” in 2017 after 15 months of treatment for an aggressive cancer was 100% successful (and came with what will be lifelong reminders). In the 1950s when we were expecting Sunday dinner company, she would say, “Sharon, set the table now–use the sterling. It was always special to get to set the table with the sterling. No on January 19, 2024 in a couple of hours, I’ll be having a dish of oatmeal, eaten with my mother’s sterling. It’s pretty special that I STILL have one day after another and then to get to eat it with my mother’s sterling. It doesn’t get much better than that. I don’t store my mother’s things. I use them.
Thank you, Managerie. Much more than you know.
If I decide to run away, wouldja come and drive me?
You give a loving reminder that we ought never to worship”stuff” for the sake of “stuff.” Don’t leave anything for special – especially something you shared with others you love.
Beautiful story te your mothers things and the sterling absolutely beautiful
I’ll be there Sharon! Thanks to you for inspiring the original story back in April.
When we sold our cabin and moved in late 2019, I had only one piece of furniture from the old family farm in Kansas. It was a beautiful old oak secretary, and I once found it, the exact one, in a Sears catalog ad around 1908-1910. I gave it to one of my sons who has a large beautiful home. It’s in his dining room. He also got some silver, and a few things that mattered so much to some ancestors of mine that they made it to Kansas way, way back, 1840s I think was the time frame.
A number of other things I have in a closet for my granddaughter. Lots of lovely old crystal, some clear cut glass dishes. Quilts and things handmade, both from my family, and my husband’s. I used to use the quilts in the spare bedroom at the cabin, but now the spare bedroom here is known as “the kids’ room,” and it gets a lot of hard, hard use. No place for handmade things in there!
But I have old stoneware mixing bowls, and especially my only rolling pin, among a few other things, for use in my kitchen. And the entryway features picture ledges and a table with old family photos from both sides of our families.
Most of what I cleared out of my mother’s house was just garbage and junk. But I found things I couldn’t part with, things I’d seen all my life, but unexpectedly fell in love with during the process. My granddaughter loves beautiful things. I think she will cherish them.
Oh, and the only thing of my own I kept from my childhood was my first pair of toe ballet slippers. I also found a pair of baby shoes with a metal bar between them. I was born with my feet turned backward, and I was in casts for a long time, and had those shoes to wear the turn my feet. I threw those out, although my mother had chosen to hang onto them.
It was kind of like a trip back in time fashion wise as well. Starting in the 1950s, ladies’ dresses and a few men’s suits, bathing suits, kids clothes. All the styles up through present day. Unfortunately, all ugly. If she’d had some 1940s ladies dresses, now those I’d have been interested in!
Thanks for sharing, Menagerie. It must have been nice growing up in a normal family. I like hearing these stories because my experiences growing up are best forgotten.
My family was not normal. Actually, they were at times awful, and I wouldn’t go back through my childhood for any amount of money.
Are we related?
My little sister had to wear braces like that.
Sounds like you got a lot of cool stuff. That’s great. I helped to clean out my mother’s house and all I got was this crummy T-shirt, lol. And some boxes my greedy older sister plundered…
Sharon, I love this – using those precious things in your everyday life – having them there to see, not stowed away.
I love your story Sharon! And I am the same way. I am surrounded in my home by things that were loved by my mother and other dear friends.
I was pretty young when my mother died and when I went through her things I found clothing items that were new that she was “saving for best”. I have to work at breaking that same habit – she obviously taught me the same thing. I try to use her special things instead of keeping them in a cupboard. If they are used, they have meaning for everyone.
I went through mom’s blanket cupboard and found this old, patched, ugly green blanket. It looked hand woven. My mother had kept that blanket all my life. I looked at my husband and said, thank goodness I don’t know the story behind this blanket – we can get rid of it! If I know the story, I’m sunk!
What a great story. Thank you. I have one, I’ll make it short..
My mother divorced when I was 5, there were 7 of us. The four youngest were still at home.
We moved a lot. Once we moved from the deep south to Colorado.. she had one relative there.
mom and five of us in a Ford Pinto..
First time I saw snow was a blizzard when mom screamed for us to “shut up” as we played and laughed in the
car..
and we looked up to see white everywhere..even Mom’s knuckles were white..
Snow was blowing sideways, up, round… I’d never seen anything so beautiful..
what the heck was she doing driving in such conditions-I think when I look back..
Luckily, two semi trucks took care of us.. one in front and one in back… they guided us through the storm…
would blink their lights, even the truck in front with his rear lights… to keep her in line..
We finally arrived in Boulder and I will never forget the sight of the Flatirons.. so majestic..
had never seen mountains..
My single mom was amazing, what an adventure we had.
Menagerie, thanks for this. My heart swells this morning. God bless you today and always..
and everyone here and God bless America and President Trump.
… and God bless those semi truck drivers.
It reminds me of a story my mom shared with me about a woman driving alone on the freeway. She was scared to death because a semi truck was right on her bumper flashing his lights and blasting his horn for miles. It turned out that he saw a man crouched down in the back seat behind her. If he hadn’t been there she might have ended up a statistic.
I love your story!
Ford Pinto. LOL, one of my girlfriends had a Pinto. It was the most gutless POS I had ever driven. Horrible on snow, especially with bald tires!
my friend had 5 pintos in her family. the keys were interchangeable!
I had a yellow one ,4 speed, stick shift. Loved to drive it. Got 30-35 MPG. I re-built the engine souped it up, Yes I am a female, gear head. Got the bug as a teen ager. Can’t cook but I can rebuild an engine…
lucky girl. who needs to cook if you have a yellow pinto?
You’re one of the coolest women I know then..
I had a blue one.
God looked out for your family that day. A Ford Pinto between two semis was a disaster waiting to happen. Back in the day Ford Pintos tended to burst into flame when hit from the rear with force. Great story!
When you said you threw the stone out into the backyard, My brain screamed NOOOO!
So said another collector of special rocks.
I still have a little rock that I found at the beach that had a little hole worn down in it – it was perfect – my chewing gum rock that I would put my gum on (it was on my desk in my bedroom). As I recall, I chewed gum mainly in the summer because it was not okay to chew gum during school. It represented to me the carefree feeling that began every summer. I had to stop using my chewing gum rock when I had braces put on my teeth, no gum-chewing . . . but I still have that rock!
🪨 PayPal Save the rock fund! 💕
Actually, he’s a millionaire, because of that eyebrow thing. 😉
How intriguing Ausonius: eyebrow thing? Please explain?
Hello Treepers! Thank you for sharing your heartwarming stories.
I have a rock story. My children and I were walking down along the gorge at Watkins Glen State Park. My son was about 8 years old. I had to scold him for lagging behind and for not getting to when I called him the first time. You have to be careful walking along the gorge. He ran up and handed me a rock. A gift. It was flat and in the shape of a heart. He was just scraping down the rough edges, he said. Lol. Its been 25 years and that heart-shaped rock sits proudly on my night stand. It’s such a great memory for us, and we laugh about the scolding 🙃
May God bless the USA and The Treehouse!
I love interesting stories. Thanks for the share Menagerie.
Our pastor told an interesting one last night.
Him hand his family were on an Israel tour. They were at the home of Simon the tanner and while they viewed the site they met a Christian family from India. They shared a prayer together.
The family from India asked our pastor if they knew Ruth who lived in Canada. After discussion it turned out that Ruth had attended our pastor’s church.
Who would imagine!
DD
My dad died in 2009 at age 86. I was named after one of his best high school friends who died during WWII at Guadalcanal at age 21. When I was cleaning out one of his file cabinets, I recalled that he had a picture of his friend that he showed me one time. After sorting out many of his papers, I walked out of his den where the file cabinet was and on the floor of the rec room was the picture.
Explain that!
About 6 months later the following spring, I was clearing out some brush along his driveway, as our family was preparing to sell the house and property. My dad was an avid equestrian and we had horses most of my life. About 100 yards from where I was clearing brush was the horse barn, long emptied of horses and on the opposite side of the 4-acre property. Yet that day I could smell the distinctive odor of horse urine and sweated leather from the bridles and saddles. It’s a smell you never forget if you’ve been around a horse barn. We’d been cleaning out the house for months and never smelled the barn odors since he passed. Except that day.
I know it was my dad, letting me know he was still “around”.
beautiful.
So beautiful💞
The sauerkraut rock.
Didn’t Elvis play that when stationed in Germany?
Or was that Elton John?
😂
It took a minute 😂😂😂
I so, so, so relate to your story. Menagerie, at first your tale appears to be a simple, kinda nothing family reminiscence. However, it is truly the profound, peeling back the layers — of how deeply, yet little we know about even those dearest to us. Life is so simple. Yet even the simple is complex. God bless you and your mom. Thanks for sharing. 🙏💕
You have given me every reason to clean out closets!
Amen. Me too.
Retired Magistrate here: My parents were married during the Great Depression. Everything was scarce. On top of all that my Dad was diagnosed with TB and had to go to a sanatorium for a year.
After he was released, Pearl Harbor was bombed. My Dad volunteered; however, they turned him down because of all the scar tissue from the TB plus he had scarlet fever as a child. They both “made do” during the rationing during World War II. Dad finally got steady employment as a traffic manager for a cement company.
We then moved to Central Ohio. Mom knew how to shop and get the best deals. So when there was a really good deal she would stock up and stock up she did. My Dad was the same way. When my Dad died my Mom kept stocking up because she never knew when another depression would hit and she would not be able to purchase items.
My Mom died in 1981 and I was the one responsible for cleaning out the house and getting it ready to sell. I was amazed at the amount of canned goods and other items in the basement. Duplicates of many items. There was so much, many of the canned goods had expired years ago, that I had to hire a junk man in to get rid of it. No, my parents were not hoarders, they just wanted to be prepared because of what they had lived through.
So, I look at our basement and I see my parents. Be prepared and we are. Thanks Mom and Dad.
Awe. Sweet story. 🥰
My mother, an octogenarian, has a habit of hiding money.
One day there was a problem with some water pipes under the house; so my mother and brother crawled under to fix the issue. Out comes a metal box, that apparently had been there for YEARS, with money. My mother’s take was, “Oh, that’s where I put that stash.” 😳🤣. It smells moldy.
How many other stashes does she have?
FYI banks will collect and reimburse you for moldy cash, burnt cash.. you name it people find it.. so don’t assume it isn’t worth anything just because it is corroded or falling apart. I think the bank sends it back to the Federal Reserve Bank for reimbursement.
Oh, no she spent it…gave to grandchildren for birthday, weddings. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
haha, used to collect Red Wing pottery, i think the company called the crock weights “koverweights” but a rock works just fine. Pass the kraut!
Thank you Menagerie for sharing your story.
I can be considered somewhat of a hoarder. My hoarding is a product of living in the same home for a long time. When moving, you throw away a lot of stuff. When staying in one place and taking in roots, your tree of stuff grows.
Living in an area rich in natural beauty and with close access to the outdoors has allowed me to have many interest and I have acquire stuff as my knowledge of the seasons grew.
When a season is over that stuff is put away, then the next season’s stuff is brought out. Think of Halloween decorations and Christmas decorations, oh yeah, they take up space too.
Sometimes when the season rolls around again, I’ve found a new interest that prevents me from bringing out the past interest stuff and I start acquiring new stuff for the new interest. The artificial Christmas tree stays stuffed away because we are now driving up to the mountains and harvesting a free range wild tree. That new interest requires a new hand saw, tarps, cordage, wilderness maps, what if we get stuck gear and a new Christmas tree stand. If we were to move, we would throw away the artificial tree and would have less stuff.
Hoarders are not always what they seem, some are people that have lived a life of evolving interest and have storage problems.
When you have a good sized house that has a two foot wide trail through the main rooms, and not even that in unused rooms, when you share even your couch and bed with filthy junk and old newspapers, not ones with articles you saved, but every one you read, when you have four out buildings filled to the roof, you are a hoarder in the worst sense of the word.
It was hell cleaning out that place, and I was physically sick from the filth for the entire four months.
You turned out well Menagerie! You have come through it stronger.
It is heartbreaking when someone we love is so under sway of an obsession. So difficult not to take it personally.
Menagerie,
My heart goes out to you.
I remember watching a couple
of the hoarding shows years
ago. I had to stop watching them.
When watching the shows I
would start itching and
scratching.
A couple of times I would
actually feel nauseous.
I have been in 2 homes like
that. Both were coworkers.
It was just as you described.
One was a fishing buddy and
I went to his house to pick him
up once..
What brought on the gag reflex was
seeing the mess in the kitchen which
I only got to after wading through
the narrow path of “stuff”.
Then I remembered all the
times all of us at work ate the
burritos that he frequently
made and brought to work
for everyone 🤢🤢
That visit was the final
straw that made my rule
of….unless I have been to
someone’s home I will not
eat what they would bring
to work.
Funny thing is that a bunch of
us were talking one day and he
was saying that he needed a
house cleaner.
I started laughing and said…
Dude…the only way that house
will ever be clean is a gallon of
gas and a pack of matches. 🔥🔥
😂 😂 Reminds me of a piece of property my mother owns with a trailer on it, whom she rents out to a family member. When she was cleaning it up after the last tenant, she decided to redo the floors, the walls, pipes underneath, new wellhouse, new fixtures, new porches…So she basically did a “Trailer Renovation” that we thought she’d win first prize if there was a contest for it. 😂.
The thing is, the hitch was taken off of it; so moving it is out of the question. One of my brothers and I were talking about it and he said, “You realize we’re going to have to burn this in place, right?” 🤣🤣🤣
The rest of the story is that
my coworker hoarder guy was
transferred.
Years later a coworker who
was there when I made my
gasoline and matches comment
was sharing the latest gossip and
catching up.
He said that the hoarder guy
had met a really nice girl and had
gotten married.
He started laughing and said
that before they married
They bought a new house.
Jeez…. I wonder why?
😂😂😂
I am still chuckling just writing
about it. 😂😂😂
I suspect you have a long linkchain (As Sundance writes of our links in life) and many of them left open. Forgive and close the link. You may not forget, but closing that link is important for sanity’s sake. 🙏
I think this statement is true: if Menagerie had not already effectively closed the link, her life would not be as full and rich as it is today.
I certainly didn’t mean it as a slight whatsoever on Menagerie. I’m sorry it reads that way to you.
I didn’t take it as a slight on Menagrie.
I was responding to your assumption about what Menagarie had or had not done.
You TOLD her to “Forgive and close the link”.
I can’t imagine how long it had been since their bed sheets had been changed and washed. So sad. God bless you, Menagerie. I’m enjoying everyone’s stories. We can all relate.
Wonderful story! Thank you! I hope you have the crock in the picture and any others that she had. They are very collectable and many are valuable. The rock would be a great conversion piece.
“It’s a Southern thang.”
Oh boy did I chortle to hear the familiar slang of “thang”.
Mother kept everything, items like every size glass bottle imaginable. Anything that she could keep Dad from throwing out, mother kept. Old scented candles (oh, how I detest those) crammed into hutches that will reek for all eternity.
This led to tension when the basement and attic would overflow with her “treasures” and start to bleed into Dad’s workshop. Mom would purse up those lips but Dad would toss enough oddities out to maintain the shops primary purpose.
I suppose in reaction to my mothers hoarding my sister has become an absolute minimalist and has just the necessities in her house. If she doesn’t use it fairly often then it’s donated or tossed. I think she even looks for things to toss!
My sister now lives several states distant and my Mom would fly to visit with her after father had passed. My sister doesn’t drink coffee, (her thang is cold sweet tea at all hours). Mom always wants coffee in the morning so she bought a coffee maker and left it in my sisters cabinet when she left after that visit. You guessed it, the next time Mom visited the coffee maker was gone!
The story really should end there but this is one of those family “never ending” stories in that it must be repeated ad nauseam. Mother never quite got over sister throwing “her” coffee maker in the dumpster.
I should add in all fairness to my mother that her hoarding was restricted to every available storage space but she kept a clean, neat and orderly house otherwise.
I remember my mother telling us that her “stuff” was hers and we could deal with it once she was gone.
My mother had the same selfish attitude. It took four of us to go through it and clear it out, and we’re all elderly and disabled ourselves.
Wonderful story. And as we might ponder, as to why people become hoarders. To most something might be insignificant, but to a hoarder, that something is important, something to be treasured.
“paper towel pasteboard centers”
I can walk up my stairs to our storage room above the garage and look in one of the plastic storage boxes and find about 100 of these things my wife collects. She also keeps the pasteboard centers out of bathroom tissue rolls. In her defense though, she actually does use them for making holiday decorations.
“Pasteboard centers” struck my ear: I believe you will not hear that north of the Ohio River, at least, here in Ohio we have always used “cardboard tube” to describe that.
My ex is an avid scrapbooker. She used those tubes in her work.
Eventually, our house was full of those things because everyone she knew saved them for her, lol.
She is also a hoarder. The house looks like the crafts section at Hobby Lobby.
They were swords for my brother and I. They didn’t last long, then it was hand-to-hand combat
My daughter collects them as well, but they’re for her rabbit to chew on, so they don’t stick around for very long.
There is a sweet sadness about that story, written between the lines maybe.
And the point is not about how yummy you think kraut is, or how much your sister loves it, or what you remember about your great granny making it.
The point is of the family interactions, how a woman’s echoing loneliness drove her to eccentric behavior, and how her family remembers her.
Thank you for sharing your STONE story, Menagerie. I am reading that everyone is enjoying reading it. I too. I am not a hoarder, BUT I am a lover of KNICK-KNACKS and the like, and I have a great many items in and around my porch and gardens. I also have a number of items that are SACRED to me and my work. But, I wonder what will happen to them when I pass onward.
I have 3 sets of china, kept in my pantry. 1 set of silver plate silverware kept in the wooden box it came in, and one set of crystal stemware. One set of the china is very expensive Royal Doultan (got for a wedding present in 1974), another set is a small set of antique Franciscan Desert Rose (used for tea parties) bought from an antique store, and one other contemporary set of plain white bought from Pier One (when it was still in business). Our daily dishes are Blue Willow. The reason I am mentioning these things is because I haven’t used these pantry sets of dishes FOR YEARS, even during holidays. They sit. And NO one these days even uses “the good china/silver/crystal ware” at all. Nor will any of these folks WANT any of these beautiful pieces at all in the coming years. BUT, I cannot let myself try to sell them. They were either wedding gifts, or I got them on my own for whatever purpose. So, they sit patiently in my pantry.
My family kids me a lot about all my knick-knacks. But in the end…I love them all and they make me happy. When I am done with this life–I will no longer care, and they can do with them what they want. At that point, I will not have an opinion!
Knick-knacks have memories attached to them. You can buy the knick-knacks, but you can’t buy memories.
We have started using our Francis the First for meals. We are also starting to use China for dinners. Everyday use, top shelf of dishwasher. China is slow-thinking, took it 40 years of marriage to find a way out of cabinets. Didn’t know it, but found out my Mother in Law has 7 lines of US, French & Norwegian ‘relatives’. Sets she collected from estate sales of her friends and father’s friends from the 1920s forward. Debates with the 2 daughters and granddaughter on settings of 4 from this line or the other.
Please start using your beautiful settings! And please know that I’ve purchased crystal and such on ebay…I have Bohemia crystal from Czechoslovakia….and always tell the seller that it’s going to a home that will cherish it. Someone will find joy with your things if your children do sell them.
We used good China, placemats and lit candles for dinner during lockdown… not sure why we stopped
Desert Rose is a well known and loved design.
My sister is an inside hoarder, my brother hoards things outdoors and in various storage spaces. I don’t know which is worse. I’m the youngest in the family, so someday it’s going to be my problem.
I’m frequently in conversation with people suffering… health, divorce, layoff, children gone, homebound, losing driver’s license, you name it. Here’s a story I seem to be telling a lot lately. Not really abut hoarding, but didn’t seem like the invitation to story put any limits on things.
13 years ago I went to my doctor for a routine annual check-up. Feeling fine. Discovered a white cell count 25 times normal. My doctor suspected leukemia and referred me to the local cancer center.
As it happens, I was on a team for a men’s religious retreat. The first of six team meetings was the following Saturday, and I was carpooling with the team leader. As we were driving, I shared the outcome of my physical. “Tony, I’m not sure where this is going, but you should be aware that I may not be able to attend the retreat. Fact is, I have no idea what’s ahead.”
“And do me a favor and keep this to yourself until we have a solid diagnosis. I don’t want to get people worked up over this.”
Tony paused. “David, it seems kind of prideful for you to keep this to yourself. If you believe in the power of prayer, you need to let people know what’s going on.”
I was stunned. Convicted. Speechless. The words went in my ears, to my brain, but not to my heart. I knew Tony was right, but… but…
Our conversation continued, but mostly small talk. Tony had added new information to the puzzle, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it.
So we get to the team meeting, spend three hours teambuilding, and close by standing in a circle for final prayers. Tony leads, praying for success of the team and for hearts won over to Jesus. And he closes with this. “And if any of you have any special intentions, please offer them up now.”
A silent pause.
Then Tony continues, “And I’d like to start by offering up our friend David who has a possible diagnosis of leukemia.”
And I started bawling like a baby. Not sadness. Not fear. But indescribable joy. My secret pain was no longer secret; ten men praying for me. Hugs. More tears.
This was just the first incident of Jesus holding the devil at bay. I had many more, the common features being I wasn’t alone and I cried lots of joyful tears. Family, friends, clergy, strangers all accompanied me through diagnosis, treatment, toxic chemo side-effects, depression. The devil never had a chance.
Today, I’m stable, still in remission, and recently ordained a deacon.
I’ll let this story be its own witness. Take from it what you will.
Tough duty being an adult.
Good to read good news. Best on the future!
The incredible power of prayer….thanks for sharing David. May God continue to bless you….
All Things Are Possible!
We don’t know how fortunate we are to just have our health. Glad to hear you are recovering.
all glory to God.
My name is David and tears are streaming down my face. God is Great!
Just goes to show one woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure 😊
(So the new hire was the daughter of your mother’s friend who had the answer to your conundrum? What are the chances? These days I am keeping a weather eye out for God’s fingerprints; and I think I am seeing them all over this one. I’d really, really like to think so…😌💕)
Nice story.
We have to remember our parents and grandparents went through The Depression. This reality spurned a lot of the hoarding with this older generation, I miss’em all.
I’m medically retired from the fire dept, can’t believe it’s been almost 9-years since my last day at work. I worked at, then subsequently worked a lot of overtime at, a station that was next to a large 55+ community. Several times arriving to work an overtime day I’d hear the story of how the engine, the day before, had to do a standby for the bomb squad: another resident who served in WWII died and the family found the grenades!!
We went to a house fire one evening. The gentleman lived alone, but was having a large gathering. Car in garage caught fire and went into attic. While damaged, most of the interior contents were in descent shape. I asked him if there was any valuables or important items he needed to us to retrieve for him. He told me he had some coins in the closet he’d like us to grab. HIs idea of ” some coins” was nearly 10 large canvas coin deposit bags full of late-1800’s silver dollars. I always think of what would happen when he died if what family he had left didn’t know about his “collection”.
The one thing for me about working at that fire station was the amount of interesting things the “old” people did. It’s easy for people who work at busy stations to get burned out and become “grumpy”, running 10+ calls a day – there were some nights we’d get back to the station, lay down in bed and get another call. The most I did at that station after midnight was 7. So the next day you’re tired and get to do it all over again or go home and “enjoy” a day off. I liked being busy, I tried not to let it get to me for I could 1) transfer, 2) not work overtime at busy stations or 3) find something else to do – so being bust, to me, was a choice. I say all this to get to my point.
I would talk with the family members on call or the patients. I let my medics concentrate on patient care while I gathered patient info from the family. I would always try to listen and ask what they used to do for work. I would see a lot of interesting things that would spark conversation. One day I talked to a pilot who flew Air Force One while my guys helped his wife. I learned that “old people” once weren’t old and did “cool” things. Slow down, ask questions, have real conversations and most important: listen!! you just might learn something.
My mom and sister live near The Villages in Florida – I can only imagine the “stuff” inside those houses and the stories that could be told. You figure most people have 30 to 40 years of collecting things before they move into a retirement community.
At the end of the day, we are very important to ourselves and our stuff is important/valuable to us but not many other people. The creek rock had purpose/understanding to only a few, but once the context was understood it made perfect sense. Have conversations and LISTEN – don’t try to be the smartest person in the room and share your “knowledge” (i.e. be the one talking the whole time).
My dad passed away almost two years ago. It was sudden and out of nowhere, yes he had been dealing with a long-term issue but was under control. My wife, son and I left late at night and made it to central FL the next morning. The following day we went to the mortuary. That was my first time being in “the room” (all I can say is you’ll do your family a huge favor by pre-planning/paying for what you want – the choices of caskets and what you can do with ashes is pretty overwhelming). Luckily, my mom and dad had a plan. Double lucky she was alive to share it since I was never aware of it.
My dad was going to be cremated. The decision was what to do with the ashes. My mom and sister agreed with the suggestion, from the funeral home, that the ashes could be separated into 1/3’s: one for each of us. To this day my portion is still at my mom’s house. It’s funny how this simple task triggered a conversation that had never been had, with anyone. I learned that I’m the only one in my family (immediate) that is a traditionalist and believes in/wants a traditional Christian burial which is unfortunate because it sounds like I’ll be buried alone. My wife and sister told me I should pick somewhere warm, not too hilly.
We talked about our post-death needs for a while (very good conversation and leaves no surprises, I’ll have plenty of time to get over being abandoned by my family) which led to me wondering. Let’s pretend I decide to get cremated and don’t tell anyone what to do with my ashes: is my son now obligated to lug dad around in an urn from move to move? Will I end up in his attic because they don’t know what to do with dad?
I hope you got something from me sharing these random but somewhat connected thoughts. Dave Ramsey always said the reading of the Will shouldn’t be like movies. It should be done while everyone (including while the person whose death is of interest is still alive) alive and explained clearly. My father-in-law’s family (siblings) haven’t really talked since the last parent died: issues with money because there was no transparency. It’s not that one half cared about the money, it was that the other half opened a safe in secret and never disclosed the contents. It was all used to care for the mom until her death but the siblings that opened the safe hid the contents: probably thinking the others would want some, which they didn’t. Everyone wanted the same thing: use the money to take care of mom but neither side talked to the other. So rather than have an open discussion and possibly some arguments, the family was destroyed and a few siblings have since died without ever mending with some of the others.
We are all responsible for our own stuff. If you want someone to have something after you die, then put it in writing and let everyone know. Yes, if you know two people want some heirloom then it’s up to you to make the decision and let it be known. You’re being selfish by waiting until you die to let them sort it out – it’ll will do more harm than just ripping off the bandaid while everyone is still alive.
As horrible as it felt to lose first my mom and then my dad (along with the other remaining “elders” of our extended family) in a couple of short years, my sister and I were never so grateful as we were to have parents that thought of everything ahead of time. Everything was planned and paid for long before the time came. The only things we had to do was (1) decided on a single line to go at the bottom of their memorial stone that fit their love story, and (2) clean out the house after deciding what things either of us wanted to keep. Neither of us have the same taste in things, so there were no arguments over who gets what; she was living in the house and wanted to keep it, while I lived in another state and didn’t care about it. The hardest part was transporting the stuff I wanted to keep back to my house in another state. We were so blessed to have wonderful parents, and they truly did everything they could to make sure that we didn’t have to worry about making decisions about what they would have wanted. It was all clearly spelled out in their medical forms and wills.
Silver dollars will melt in a house fire…ask me how I know.
As to cremation and burials, my dad was cremated also but his ashes are buried at Arlington National Cemetery along with my mother’s ashes. They both had traditional funerals at the funeral home but dad also got a military service at the gravesite.
Luckily for this guy it was just an attic fire (minus the garage).
My husband’s sister stole everything from her siblings after their dad died.
Her mom is still alive, and the sister talked her into believing none of her other children love her and they are out to get her and her money, when it is clearly that sister that has done the grabbing.
After spending a lot of money on lawyers we’ve learned that the fastest growing legal cases have to do with inheritances, and children who mentally abuse parents into believing they are the only one who loves them.
If you grew up during the Depression you had nothing, so you kept everything.
People dont know what poor is. But they’re gonna find out.
my grandmother grew up during the depression and kept everything. She hid her money (silver coins) in stone crocks that was then buried under the wash kettle. Folding money, she kept under her mattress. The kettle was used for canning and to heat water for washing clothes.
I remember taking baths in a double tub with hot water from that same kettle. It was located between the smoke house and well house , which had a spring inside. they kept the milk and butter in the water to keep it cold.
A dipper hung on a post where you could step inside and get a drink of cold water. The farm is now a hunting lodge with some of the best deer and turkey hunting in Kentucky.
I’ve often wondered if the silver coins are still buried there. Probably not, as all my cousins had watched Grandma move the kettle and dig up the crocks.
Really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing.
Great story. I’m smiling. We can relate. Wife had to clean out her mom’s place in summer 2022. Her siblings couldn’t deal with it; medical and/or emotional reasons. No such treasures tho. Just a lot to throw away.
Tears. Thanks so much for sharing.
What an absolutely wonderful story. Thank you.
No one ever bought her a Labelmaster?
That’s a great story…thanks for sharing and so glad the mystery finally solved. 🙂
Thank you! I am filled with the SPIRIT!!
Great story! Our stepdad passed in 2021 and we had to do the same; he was a depression-era child while my mother was 10 years younger and grew up with more. They spent 25 years in retirement garage-saling inbetwixt travelling… We sold about 20 dumpster yards of stuff at the estate sale and – literally – threw away 60 yards of junk. Oh, we burned junk wood for a whole week.
For years after my mothers death in 2013 we tried to get him to ‘firesale’ all of the stuff he never used anymore(antique radios, etc.). It turned out that all of the antique stuff like grandmas china, radios, cameras, silverware, and glassware was absolutely worthless – nobody wanted it.
I learned several lessons among using the time to celebrate memories among the work… The only things of worth were precious metals and tools. Everything else sold at pennies on the dollar if someone could re-purpose things.
Our kids will not have to take a weeks worth of vaca time to get rid of our stuff.
Love to all.
Tools, never throw away tools. Menageries’s creek rock turned out to be a tool!
I have a friend who is an avid golfer and collected golf balls his dog would find at their country club that they lived next to. Over the years he amassed 50,000 golf balls not even counting all he had given away over the years. he catalogued them in different tubs, enough to fill a two car garage1. He sold them last year for $18K…..because his dog had died, it just wasn’t fun anymore.
Now THAT is a great story! Lol… Our stepdad didn’t golf, but I will save mine!
his dog was everything. I couldnt even watch Old Yeller–my father had to carry me out of the theatre.
I remember some line in an old country song about a guy ditching his gf because ‘she never cried when Ol Yeller died’ – I’d leave her too.
awww. red flag fersher.
Wow!
Just beautiful! Memories of a very joyful time in life!
Great story, Menagerie!
My dad, who died 6 years ago at the age of 86 and in the throes of dementia, was a hoarder as well. My two sisters, brother, and I watched him since we were little kids collect things and not be able to throw them away. By the time he passed, his home was filled, except for the small walkways. He had several outbuildings on the property – all of them filled, including the six car garage.
It took my siblings and myself (and spouses) a solid week to clean it. Long days, many dumpsters, many memories, lots of “found treasures” and many tears. It was an incredibly exhausting time as we filled dumpster after dumpster, but it was an amazing walk down memory lane.
We found our toys that we played with as youngsters, old hair curlers, broken furniture and our favorite things. I counted 27 fishing poles, over 40 extension cords (most still in the original packaging), and 102 quarts of motor oil all aligned along the edges of the garage in color coordination. We found a shoe box filled with shoe laces (again, all color coordinated), an old Army foot locker completely filled with unsorted allen keys (thousands and thousands of them – filled, it was very heavy).
He had several freezers filled with packaged meat (he was a hunter), each one dated. We found one that was 17 years old and had likely been thawed and frozen many times due to power outages. All the meat was thrown in the dump for the birds.
Oh, and we found hundreds of beanie babies. He loved buying them and thought each one was going to be worth a fortune some day. We filled three large hefty bags and took them to the regional children’s hospital to donate in his name.
Hoarding is a strange phenomenon. But, it did bring us many memories and plenty of tears.
https://gab.com/Cham0rrlta/posts/111697688837948033
🥰 🥰
lol!
Oh my ! Beanie Baby’s. What am I to do with my purple ‘Princess Diana ‘ BB ?
What We Want–> What We Need
Power–> Faith
Fame –>Family
Possessions–> Friendship
Pleasure –>Purpose
Most people have a desire to put down roots, but in doing so we must avoid the trap of wants over needs.
In my own life letting go of roots, moving to a completely different region of the country was what I needed to get me out of the trap.
Thanks for the stories shared here.
Interesting tale……….and I thought I was the only one who had seen this movie – twice in fact!
The reason we read, is to know that we are not uniquely alone in this world!
Beautiful story.
I believe hoarding on some level was a common thing back in the days of olden. Why not keep things that could be handly?
This past summer, I spent two solid months, mainly on my own, and yes, the siblings came and got what they wanted and left, same with some others.
I went through all of the things in my dad’s apartment at Ashby Ponds Virginia. Fancy place, mom and dad did not down size before the move, instead they moved every thing from their home in maryland to Virginia near me and I cared for them for 10 years. Anyway….
I found every piece of paper since 1946 and even before, even my fathers diaries from 1945 to 1984, and including a large diary recounting with maps and details of my dad’s one year as prisoner of war in Germany when he was taken up in Rotterday in a razzia. He made very detailed maps and detailed descriptions of his days as a prisoner (usually doing work “cleaning up rubble” as he describes it. He also shared his exact walk home from Germany back to the Netherlands Northern Germany I believe to Rotterdam
So, yes, I still have boxes and boxes and so much stuff here at my house. My house looks like a junk store.
Slowly we will get there.
Wow.