The U.S. Citizen and Immigration Services have put out a contract order for enough holographic paper stock to print 34 million resident alien green cards.  Last Wednesday reporter began questioning White House spokesperson Josh Earnest about the motives behind the order – against the backdrop of reports discussed daily surrounding President Obama’s plans for widespread immigration decrees via executive order.

Josh Earnest awkwardly tried to laugh off the questioning until Chief White House Correspondent for CBS News, Major Garrett, became noticeably irked. “Don’t be absurd with us,” Garrett said. “That’s not just an ordinary colored sheet of paper. That is central, central to what the president has promised in public to do.”