Effective one second past midnight this morning anything that happens will be because the U.S. Federal Government shut down.
If you don’t believe me, just watch television. It will be live 24/7….
A wounded water buffalo was spotted trying to give birth on the dangerous Serengeti Plain, CNN International will soon report the cause is the shutdown of the U.S. federal government. A man in Wisconsin missed his bus because the battery in his alarm clock ran out; Damn that John Boehner. A drawbridge near Baton Rouge Louisiana got stuck this morning – MSNBC confirms the GOP caused that.
In New York, a once joyful fifth grade teacher’s chalk broke in half right when she was about to use it on the blackboard; Peter King erupts in fury – ABC has live coverage. If the stock market climbs, or falls, it’ll be all Ted Cruz’s fault – And NBC will be there live to walk you through it. When the planes arrive/depart typically late, now CBS will report it’s because of Paul Ryan’s entrenched ideology – last week notsomuch. (more…)









