It takes a man to to be a real father, in ways so much more important than biological contributions. Once upon a time, most men learned and valued the responsibilities they would assume with the birth of a child, and they planned and prepared for it. Real men were usually not only providers, protectors, but also the primary source of power and strength in a secure family. They were often the first to nudge the chicks out of the nest, to push them to be perfect, and to make sure they were prepared for life, and for a harsh world.
How times have changed.
Here at the Treehouse we talk a lot about politics and how to regain what we’ve lost, not so much politically, but the kind of people we are, the kind of nation we have become. I see a lot of good ideas come across these pages, from involvement in local politics and voting precincts to driving people to the polls, to active involvement in party politics.
I don’t see a lot of talk about the long term prospects, and real change. How about back to the basics fatherhood? How about helping children be secure in a safe and loving family? How about teaching little boys to mow grass and change tires and paint their room, as well as keep that room clean and iron a shirt? Yes, iron a shirt, because presentation and neatness still matter whether you like it or not.
How about teaching them that it really is okay to be a man, and they don’t need any woman to tell them the boundaries on their masculinity, as long as it is a healthy, protective, giving, legitimately strong, real masculinity? How about teaching your daughters what exactly they should expect, no, demand, in a man they contemplate a serious relationship with?
How about making sure you teach your children Christian values and principles and make church services as big a priority as that ballgame?
From last year’s post, I’d like to copy some of my thoughts, because I just can never find finer examples of fatherhood than my husband and father in law. Some things bear repeating.
I have been privileged to know some of the best fathers of our time, and especially would like to mention my appreciation and pride for those in my own life who have made the most difference to me and our family.
I was blessed to marry a man who became a wonderful father to our three boys. My sons are three of the best dads out there, under really challenging circumstances. Two of them have step children they love and cherish, nurture and guide.
My father in law was an epic man among men. He had great faults but his virtues eclipsed them. He was a man of immense strength, strength of mind, character, body, and above all else, faith. His heart was even bigger than his booming laugh.
If I had a fortune I would confidently place a wager that no one could ever say he backed down from his principles or failed to do what he saw as right in the face of any test. Not one time, not ever. Good or bad, hard or easy, he stood in the face of any challenge to right as he believed it to be.
Of course he passed those traits on to his children, all eight of them, and he influenced every one who entered his orbit with the sheer force of his beliefs and his do or die attitude. He was one of only a few people I’ve personally known who really would give you the shirt off of his back.
He had many roles in life, many skills, a man who could do many things, fix almost anything that needed fixing, a voracious reader, self taught on many things with a questing mind and staggering intellect. He knew the Bible cover to cover and could always offer compelling proofs for his beliefs.
Of all those roles, the one most who knew him saw him most at home in, and the one I believe he most identified as, was Daddy.
Here’s to you Jr. Of all the people I look forward to spending eternity with, laughing with, loving with, you are up there. I so look forward to one of your big enthusiastic hugs again.
So sweet.
Thanks for sharing!
Daddy.
I was interviewing for a job eons ago…. I was asked “what are you most proud of?”.
I figured it was about work, but I answered it truthfully.
“My children”
On this Father’s Day, I’m pissed off there are no real tool sales at the Home Depot, but I’m proud of my kids. Mom gave them a soft heart but Dad, yours truly, gave them the backbone to go with that.
Happy Father’s Day.. and a belated Mother’s Day too… because it takes two to tango.
Oh, yes, of course, I was offered the job.
The woman teaches the child how to nurture, the man teaches how to be a man. So often today, one, or BOTH of the parents is out of the equation, leaving the child to float, adrift, not being taught the correct qualities. And the end result is the generation we’re seeing today- zero skill, zero ambition, zero guidance.
Nice work! Happy dad’s day! I’m blessed to still have mine, 89 years young! Mom’s 88!!!
Thank you, Menagerie!
When people ask me how it’s going,
I always start with my kids.
They are healthy, happy, and growing up in
a stable family .
Thats about as good as I can do, as a Dad.
And it’s what I’m most proud of as a person.
If I can pull it off for another 8-10 years,
my work her will be done. Raising my kids is
my number one priority.
Whatever happens after that is gravy
Nice. Yes, how about teaching boys to mow grass?
And take out the trash!
And changing their oil, fixing the porch, cleaning out the p trap under the sink, how to cook a steak,
being a kind yet confident person, and taking on everything that life throws at you and maintaining
a loving and uncynical heart.
There are so many things a Dad needs to do for his kids.
Maybe, only a Mother does more.
But a Dad needs to do all the things that go unsung,
Dads learn to not expect rewards.
Dads don’t expect flowers, and homemade cards.
Sleeping in and no fighting or yelling would be fine for most
on a Fathers Day
My dad had daughters. He taught us how to change the oil, lay tile, fix minor plumbing problems, etc.
At age eleven he helped support his mother and siblings by working in the fields on his uncle’s farm -after his father died. His love of family extended to anyone in the community who needed help. He helped us right up until he passed.
We honored him this weekend with a sign on his grave that says, “Dad’s gone fishin’.”
Lots of flowers, bright fish, and a little plastic boat.
That’s how his daughters wish to remember him— on his boat, fishing pole in hand, with a big grin on his face! We love you, Dad!
God bless all the fathers like you!
Lorrie, I love your comment – just beautifully stated. ツ
Yakety yak don’t talk back 😎
😀😀😀
Need to teach girls all that, too. And boys need to know how to cook, basic cleaning, sht like that. No gender-based knowledge. It should all be for both genders.
Thank you again M,
As I drove home from our little get away my thoughts drifted back to your earlier post.
This one is also terrific.
This site and its posters got me picking up a Bible ( one is bedside) I have daily talks by a man of the cloth saved as a favourite.
One a fellow poster recommended.
However I cannot imagine ever attending a church as you may have been suggesting.
As boys my brothers and I did not have any encouragement to attend a church.
My career took me into many a place of worship.
Frankly they unnerved me.
While I appreciate church is a sanctuary and a source of great comfort to many. For many however that is simply not the case.
Folks in a fellowship I have belonged to for over thirty years.
One based on strong Christian principles has however been instrumental in assisting me in becoming a better husband, father, grandfather, brother and son.
Cheers!
Touching article. Many attributes I see in President Trump. Hope you and yours share a happy Fathers Day.
That was awesome, Menagerie. Thank you so much.
This is my 2nd Father’s Day as Lead King Patriarch of my side of the family, and it’s a responsibility I do not take lightly.
Had the parents and brothers fam over tonight for dinner to celebrate Father’s Day. My brother brought up all the weirdness around all the flying monkeys in gtrings as of late. I told him dear brother if you were going to go in and rob a house (not drunk or on drugs kinda robber) what would you do first? I answered for him and advised him the first thing I would do is take out the person mostly likely to impede my plan. Therefore I would try and eliminate the threat from the father.
He said well that makes sense. I said yeah it’s what they have been doing for 50+ years to subvert our society. They started with the strong male figure because it was the stumbling block to their plan of total control.
Happy Father’s Day!!
I mowed our lawns & cleaned our pool into my 60’s, & worked ICU. My husband’s job took him away a good deal.
Our neighborhood was very upscale, but I dismissed the gardener & pool cleaner when I saw how much they made for 10 minutes work vs my own pay as an RN.
Too many people look down at “menial” labor, but are gung ho for a sweaty gym.
I insisted my daughter make her bed ever day.
She chose to sleep in a sleeping bag ON the bed for a year. Now a grandmom, she wouldn’t think of leaving her bed unmade.
Wouldn’t trade the way I spent my time for anything.
Today’s families could do with some basic training in being a member, not a guest, in the family.
And I bet she makes the bed with hospital corners too!
Just like my mama, a nurse, taught me.
From another ICU RN to you – I love what you’ve posted so much ツ
100% correct. After the men are eliminated, a tyrant has no difficulty imposing his will on the women and children. ‘They’ criticize traditional husbands and fathers for their “toxic masculinity” but using the qualifier “toxic” is a way to demean masculinity the way the qualifier ‘social’ in the phrase “social justice” demeans justice. Keep explaining this to folks. They may start to catch on.
I went with my dad to the forest where dead trees were available for firewood. He used a chainsaw and ax to carve out the proper engravings.
When they dropped, he cut them up into logs and I hauled them to the truck.
In the back yard at home, he used a heavy ax to split the logs. One day, I asked him if I could try. I was about 10 years old. He said, “No, you’ll hurt yourself.”
I said, “I won’t hurt myself!”
He was ambivilent, but then stood up one of the logs and pointed to the crack in it.
He said, “Hit the crack.”
So, I lifted up the ax and swung it as hard as I could at the crack in the log. I hit the log but missed the crack. Kind of embarrassing.
He said, “No, don’t force it! Just let the ax drop naturally. The weight of it will do all the work.”
I thought he was crazy. But, the next time, I just lifted up the ax and gently dropped it onto the crack. The log split open cleanly.
That’s a real dad.
My father-in-law (see my post below) taught me that. When he was just a boy, he was the youngest in a family that was struggling through the depression. As the youngest, his chores were mostly around the house helping his mother. Every day he had to split the wood for the cook stove. The sticks for the stove were important for controlling the heat. They had to be exactly the right size and dryness. One day he showed me how it was done. He used a double-bit axe, not a maul. He carefully selected a log from the wood pile and set it up on the splitting block. He took the axe, walked around the log studying it, and then started methodically splitting off thin slabs. Every stroke was successful and soon there was a pile of perfectly split stove wood. It took me a while to learn the technique, but once I did I could split just about anything except elm or beech. Beech was very difficult and elm was impossible. Three things are required: a good axe or maul, hit the log with the handle parallel to the ground, bend at the knees at the time of impact to increase the speed of the impact and put your core strength to work.
That’s an excellent example of awe we often feel about those who raised up our sorry selves to become real men.
There is a technique to it and it’s wonderful.
My dad used a tiny hatchet to cut the wood down to smaller kindling for the fireplace. I saw him cut that stuff so fast that it genuinely frightened me. There was no way I could that. In secret, I tried one day and instantly gave up.
I appreciate your good story, my friend.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, TREEPERS
The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.
– Proverbs 23:24
You’ve expressed so well the essence of being a real man. How I pray our families and schools will return to teaching this, as well as being a real woman, instead of the perverse culture flourishing now.
.
I hereby decree that the month of June is Fatherhood Month.
(So offensive that weirdos in high heels and brassieres deliberately appropriated the month of Father’s Day, weddings and family outings.)
.
“I hereby decree that the month of June is Fatherhood Month.”
Solid.
It’ll make those who attack being a father and a man outraged.
I’m good with that.
I’m down with that. What could be more inclusive? Not one of us here didn’t have a father.
I agree outhouse counsel.
From now on the month of June will be Fatherhood Month.
I am more than tired of this Pride crap forced down my throat.
My dad taught me to navigate life using reason. He taught me I was free to make my own choices as soon I had the maturity to accept responsibility for those choices. Until then he got to call the shots.
My Dad demonstrated civic responsibility by serving in local offices, coaching young men, and quietly demonstrating incredible kindness to kids without fathers, as he had grown up without a dad.
I am sure many of the folks here had great fathers, but mine was second to none. The most important thing he taught me: “There is no percentage in going negative.”
Thanks for a great Father’s Day post. So very true for our world today.
Happy Father’s Day to all of our great Treeper Dads!! If you’re here, you’re special, and that shows me you are or will be a great Dad. God bless, and enjoy your Day!
And thank you, Menagerie, for this beautiful and true post. My Dad has been gone now 34 years. He was the oldest of 10 kids, raised during the Depression. He had to quit high school in order to help his Dad support the family. He became a carpenter, construction worker, while his younger brothers went to college and became engineers. He helped that happen. He served stateside as a carpenter in World War II. He was supposed to ship out several times (probably to build bridges etc), but he got ill with pneumonia.
My best memories of my Dad are when I was sick (I was a sickly child), he would come home from work in the winter and put his cold hands on my fevered face and ask how his little girl was. All eight of us were raised in the church, and all of the boys learned carpentry skills. He would come to visit my husband and me and help to put in floors and teach my husband tricks of the trade that he carries with him today. Dad had a hard life, and was stingy with his praise, but Mom always told us that when they were out with friends he had nothing but good to say about his kids. She also said that he is as honest as the day is long. Yes, that’s my Dad!
I miss him today, but I’m glad he’s not here to see what has become of his country. Thank you, Dad. God bless fathers!
Relevant Radio did a very nice show yesterday regarding the pain that boys feel by not having a father present. The guest was speaking to gang affiliations, anger and violence. The guest emphasized that these young boys are “angry” and actually want a father figure in their lives.
Having a father teaches us to submit to authority. If you haven’t learned what “No!”means by age 4 you are likely going to have a tough time in life. Prisons are full of such people.
As an immigrant who was fortunate enough be become a citizen of this beautiful Nation, I grew up having just enough, but we had each other. Having little money meant having to figure things out, learning how things work, Yankee ingenuity…
I adopted the model of the Renaissance Man, aiming to be understand as many disciplines as possible. Along with my beautiful, intelligent, and most tolerant woman of all time, we taught our two boys that nothing is free and anything is possible if you put the work in. Today, I sit here, with a tear in my eye, thinking about the two fine young men we have raised. The best gift I could ever have. 😉
My Daughter and my Son each have a son 11 years and daughter…….9 years old
On their annual summer holiday to me last year I had them build a go cart…….. My job was to help when asked…. keep em safe……
One boy only liked to grind the metal…… the other only to weld……. One girl only wanted to paint and put bolts in….. the other only wanted to do refreshments……..
Had the time of their life on the cart for the whole holiday…… and little do they know that I had the time of MY life…..
Without even realizing it when I bought the bits….. I had achieved a great goal! …….. the family1
Perfect post!
We should cherish our fathers AND mothers every day.
Happy Father’s Day to all the good fathers. I have one here besides me. Never faltered, never wavered.
I miss my father, like I do my mother on days like this.
How lucky some of us have been to have good parents.
My Dad said “1st thing everyday… make your bed, if you eat…learn to cook, if you drive…change your own oil, live in a house…mow your own lawn. Good advice b
Show me someones parents and I’ll show you their life. It is that important.
My Dad passed in 2015 with complications from agent orange. He taught us many things, but the one I remember the most is, “ Don’t ever dislike someone for the way they look – people can’t help that. The only reason to dislike someone is if you dislike how they treat other people – with disrespect, bullying, deceit or arrogance.”
He also taught us loyalty to God and family are the focus of a good life.
A superb piece of expository writing.
Happy Dad’s Day everyone.
I was woon the farm @ 8 years old. Had my 1st old work truck at 10. Learned so much from my dad and uncles. Up at 5 a.m. and done when everyday finished.
God Bless America!!
My father died suddenly, I was 12, and my memories have grown hazy.. One thing I remember him saying to me, when I was whining about wanting this or that..
“I was sorry that I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet..”
Thanks Dad, Love you.
Mine also died when I was 12. I remember he worked very hard and loved to fish and hunt. Since he owned his own business, he took me along.
Hey amwick! I see you’ve upgraded to the new lightweight maximum performance “Ultra Maga” racquets. 😀
JMJ
Of all of the roles in my life that I have held, only one I cherish the most….fatherhood. I have two beautiful adult children, a young woman and a young man. Both have carved lives for themselves. Not everything they do is how I would imagine I or my wife would do it, but I know they both have strong foundations. And neither of them hesitate to ask my or their mom’s opinion about things.
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!
My father died when I was only 12. I never got to go through the stage in which I thought my dad was and idiot, a stage that most boys go through, some briefly and some for extended periods. My dad is frozen in time as the dad of a 12 year old boy.
What happened after that is something that almost never happens today but should. The men in my church stepped up help my mom. They would take me places with their kids, teach me the things my dad would have taught and show me the ways of life as a dad would have done. The were imperfect replacements but necessary.
Plus, the men that taught in my school were men I could respect. Most were active in their own churches, solid in the community and examples from which to learn. Between the two, church and school, I turned out okay.
After I married, my father-in-law made me the son he never had. He was a veteran of WWII having served in post-war Germany as what we do not know. He could not say and his record was sealed. He was man of the earth and a farmer. Farmers are tough, a lot tougher than I am. He was also a man of deep faith that (almost) never faltered.
We don’t all have dads, but those that do not need real men in their lives. These days, there are not enough of them to go around.
I hope y’all can see this. Try opening in a new window.
[video src="https://i.imgur.com/Pd6ybrl.mp4" /]
Better still, teach them to do things promptly. For example, if you promptly put away your shirts and pants you may not even have to iron! Of course there are also non-wrinkle clothes out there so this is all moot to the “little Johnny’s” out there.
Love it.
I miss my dad. He’s still alive, but our political differences have driven a wedge in our family. He used to be a roughneck railroader, greased up every day, smelling like creosote when he got home. He still would throw some small ball heaters in the backyard afterwork, even though he was covered in oil and looked visibly exhausted. But now, he’s been castrated by my progressive, TDS inflicted mother. My refusal to take a coof test for Thanksgiving, even though i had no symptoms was too much for my mother to bear. My refusal to get an experimental injection so that I “could spend time with my family for Christmas” was equivalent to news of a divorce and sent a massive shockwave through the clan. They asserted their power over me and I refused to bend my knee, but yet they never took time to hear me out nor wanted to know why.
So now I can only think about what he is doing. Where he and the camper might be this summer? What cool projects he might be getting into….. I can’t have children, so I wonder what it’s like to be a dad and a father.
I don’t resent him. But I do miss him.
Thank you for this! Your post means a lot to me. Found out yesterday that I’m going to be a father. I only got to spend 16 years with Dad before he passed and I never once felt alone. He instilled a foundation that I was able to rely on and I hope to be at least half the father was to me.
Congratulations!
Happy Father’s Day all you Treepers.
Keep showing up every day for faith, family and our Uncle Sam!
Amen, Menagerie!
Miss my Father…passed away 18 months ago at 93…due to Covid restrictions in the nursing home, I could not visit him in his final days. This is a tough day for me.
I will not forget how the leftists took this issue over and caused hardship among sons/daughters with Parents locked down because of a fake pandemic. And I will not forget the lack of pushback regarding the fraud from our Lion. It robbed us of the memories we had between us and could reminisce about.
I am the father of three boys…all Eagle Scouts…and emulate my Father as a role model. I do not want to be their best friend, but a role model and it takes a lot of discipline and love. They might not like some of the things I ask of them to do but as they mature they will respect me and realize the benefits. And hopefully be a role model for their kids.
Dad, it’s been 20 years since you passed away, ironically on Father’s Day 2002.
You left school at 14 during the height of the Great Depression to hitch trains all the way to Utah get work with the WPA. Joined the Army at 18 , then survived 3 different invasions (N. Africa, Sicily, then Italy) all the way till the end of WWII .
Came home, built a life and family like millions of others lucky enough to make it back.
I am proud to have been your son. I hope I’ve been half the man you and my uncles were.
You are always in my heart
Thank you, Menagerie! Happy Father’s Day Treepers!
Great post.
Thanks for sharing. The only thing I have to disagree with is the ‘Church services”. Every single church I know of, in my town of 65,000 residents is woke and wants me to get woke too. Sorry but I’ll pray at home and donate any money I would have put in the plate, to organizations that I vet as worthy, largely beginning with veterans.
Happy Father’s Day, all!
When you get a chance, try to find the churches you don’t know about.
If you are conservative evangelical, or approximately that, try sermonaudio.com, input your zip and listen to a few samples and decide from there. You may not find what you need, but then again you might. Our church is tiny by any standard but our sermons are heard all over the world by hundreds of people every month. You may find a small congregation that is a good fit. Many of the small congregations are almost invisible. That is good in a way. Our church never shut down in Covid. We met quietly but not secretly.
I know the people that run the web site. They are solid folks that care about nothing except getting the Word of God out. They are serious about it and are building a digital vault to protect their archives from what they suspect will be an attempt to silence Christian preaching.
I agree, sadly, with you Rock Knutne about the “church service”.
We must choose so very carefully now the Church we attend because almost every single one has caved to progressive ideology.
Strong Christian beliefs are important but not all churches now days follow that and many cause more problems than they solve.
We had to leave the church we attended for 40 years when during the first wave of lockdowns two years ago our minister sent us emails that included the phrase “Do what your government tells you to do” and we never went back.
So good luck to the wonderful Fathers out there who are great religious men but may choose to worship at home and love the Lord in their own way now days.
Good for you for not aiding the church who told you to do what your government tells you! I left the church I was attending at the time too. It shut down and only had online sermons. In a year and a half I only received one phone call from the church asking if I were okay. What did the pastor do with all the free time he had that he could only make one call in all that time? It was a very small church. Sad to say, many churches are loath to give up their 5013c status and trust God to keep them going.
Another wonderfully written message, Menagerie. Thank you for your beautiful words. Truly your heart must be filled with love and blessings. Everyone’s dedication to their fathers through their stories is endearing.
Never mentioned before, but my screen name is in dedication to my father. He had such a passion for history and politics when young that his nickname in high school was Senator, thus I am the SENator’s DAughter.
Truly I am blessed that he was my father, as I was blessed by my mother.
As fatherhood declined so did the nation. My greatest source of pride is watching my two sons be better father’s than I ever was. My eldest grandson is learning to shoot under the guidance of his father, and to be a free man.
Fathers are the key to fixing what has gone wrong with this nation.
Welfare drove black fathers from the home. A single mom could get government money, free housing and food stamps.
Look at the black community now. Boys raised without dad, the only males they see are the drug dealers and gang bangers.
Another democrat policy with ” unintended” consequences.
Happy Father’s Day to all the men out there. May your cherished wives make it a wonderful day
You are correct…
I’ve never understood how this “behavior” is accepted in the black community…and nothing is done about it.
I had a very different father, one of the gentlest of men, not very skilled in the things of living. I now realize that today he would have been diagnosed as having Asperger’s syndrome. He was a brilliant preacher, highly intelligent, read to us children things like the Illiad and Odyssey. He was comforting and loving. I never heard him say a curse word or drink alcohol or say something inappropriate. In later life, he went every weekday to the grocery, the bank, or the coffee shop and loved joking with people. He cooked breakfast every day and at breakfast read a devotional from the Bible. Every time the church was open, we were there from the time I was about 2 weeks old. He didn’t deal well with adversity or difficult social situations which he left my mother to handle. He was so innocent of any wrong that he didn’t understand people’s motives very well. He loved church suppers because my mother was not a very motivated cook. (I never heard him complain and I took over most cooking at age 12.)
He preached every Sunday until he was 89, lived to age 97 with a good mind, still doing the NY Times crossword daily until the last month of life. His love, innocence, intelligence, and steadfast goodness were a genuine example to us children.
oops – nwtex
I am blessed with son-in-laws who are “real men”, work very hard, protect their families, and aren’t ashamed to be real men.
I miss my Dad. He was a cut above. He never gave up and was never lazy. He held our family together and set the example in every area. He was generous and kind – always sacrificed his own wants/needs for the family and others. He could find a sense of humor when no one else could. He didn’t whine or complain about having “his time”. He was faithful to God and the family until he went home.
When my son was about 10 he made friends with a boy his age from the neighborhood who was from a broken family. The boy, at our house one day asked, “What’s your name?” I said “Mr. T*****”. He responded, “But what’s your name, what do I call you?” I said, “Mr. T****”.
I know it’s a simple thing, but the “Mr. So-and-so is my Dad” is indicative of the problem. When you are a Dad and a Man, demanding that respect and showing it in return is necessary. I taught my kids, unless an adult explicitly asks you to call them by their first name, they are Mr or M(r)s.
My kids get upset with their friends if they call me by my first name. I don’t get upset, it is enough that they know the value of that respect.
When I was about 9 years old a classmate referred to my Dad as “your old man.” I jumped all over him and told him to never call my Dad that again.
The ball game is important too. I’ve coached little league baseball for 42 years now and the key is finding a man who can truly coach.
Being on a team teaches those boys how to act in each other’s interests. It teaches commitment. It teaches faith (with the right coach). It teaches how to overcome adversity. It teaches self respect. I can go on and on.
All of my practices begin with what I call The Approach. Every young man arriving at practice comes up to me, looks me in the eye, shakes my hand and says Good morning coach. Or whatever time of day it is. We then begin warm ups and then have a team huddle where we say a prayer. I have never, ever, in 42 years had a parent or child complain about saying a prayer. Never.
My “job” all these years has been to help teach these young men how to stand up on their own two feet. Accept the mistakes they might make and figure out how to fix it.
I’m not these kids father. But I am so proud of every single one of them. Like I tell them, God gave you the talent to do something, it’s your job to hone the skills and use that talent.
My own son called me at 5:30 am today to wish me happy Father’s Day. It’s a running joke with us because like he said when he was a youngster is that I always want to be first to tell you. I’ve already had four calls from boys I’ve coached over the years. Several texts and I know a few will drop by after church to sit on the porch and visit.
That was never my intent. I didn’t want them to think they have to do that. I just wanted to teach them how to play a ball game and learn a little bit about life. Darn it, I love those boys.
Sports are a way of learning how to channel and temper some of the more “toxic” aspects of masculinity. That’s one reason we start dividing the sexes in sports right around puberty.
Yes, girls do play team sports, but the benefits girls receive from playing are a whole ‘nuther ball game.
I coached youth sports the entire time both of my sons participated. We had good teams and not so good ones. One year was particularly bad, record-wise. We struggled to be competitive, much less win. My team was made up of typical kids, but I had more than my share of kids that were from unstable families to put a nice spin on it. I remember that about midway through the season I said something to my wife about how I was not able to get through to these kids about baseball. She said, “Maybe God did not put you there to teach them baseball.” The season turned around after that. We did not win more games, but we learned a lot of important things.
Interesting and wonderful story Buggsdaddy.
Being the mother of five boys I was a den mother in Cub Scouts for many years, long ago when Scouts were more manly and not weird like they are now.
I could always tell when a boy came from a family where the Father was a strong man and had the respect of not only the sons but the daughters in the family.
The boys were always rowdy and a handful, like boys are when young, but they did settle down and knew to do what I told them to do because I was the leader even though I was female.
I never really had much trouble from these rowdy little guys because they came from homes where their Dads had taught the to be respectful to adults no matter who that adult was.
This was years ago and we live in a rural farming area so I was lucky to be working with kids from stable families, not broken inner city homes.
There is a real difference now even here, something is very wrong and it is not good.
One of my best fathers day was a few years ago. We lived out on a farm and the kids came for a cookout. The two boys were grown and had families of their own. They were muscular and looked like men. We shot a few different weapons and they handled them like they were trained to use them. It hit me that my wife and I had raised men in the old sense of the word. It was the best gift I could have ever received.
I too am of an age when men were men. Plain old fashioned toxic masculine men. Sadly America isn’t churning out it’s finest these days. We’ve gone from the greatest Generation to a generation that cannot function. I pray daily people start understanding that the kids that are being raised today are the future. Like you I know how proud I am of all the men in my life who do a fine job of being men. Always love your insights, celebrate these men with backbone today because they are becoming extinct.
My dad has been gone nearly 40 years. We did everything together, he taught me how to work on just about everything.
When I was 16 I went to work with him in the machine shop. What an experience to learn for a young guy.
Miss him every day.
Adopted four Korean kids, one a relinquished infant, the other three a sibling group in a Korean orphanage, all grade-school aged. Between them I have two grandchildren, and they have four bachelor’s degrees, four master’s degrees, and two PhDs.
Made my share of mistakes raising them, and spent more time as God of Justice instead of God of Mercy (nothing abusive, of course). But as they’ve gotten older (now ages 37 to 48, two with kids of their own) they become more grateful and understanding year by year. They understand self-discipline, accountability, and grit more than most of their peers.
I encouraged them and applauded their successes but never tried to be their friend. Friends come and go but they only have one Dad.
Thanks for a wonderful essay, and Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads out there.