Special note: I’m very sorry if I have confused you guys. Sundance is a good friend, not my husband. My husband isn’t part of the Treehouse crew, and he has no idea about the stuff I write unless it’s something about the grandkids I might show him.
This weekend we celebrate our 46th anniversary. Okay, we’ll celebrate later, my tough guy is at the races with a bunch of other tough guys. Believe it or not, I’m okay with that. These guys work hard and deserve their annual weekend. I think guys need times like that, and I happen to be a huge fan of toxic masculinity.
A few weeks before I turned 18, I met this really captivating guy who was good looking, strong, kind, and most attractive of all to me, not afraid to follow his own path in the face of teenage peer pressure. He was matter of fact about his family ties and his religion, at a time when most teens were way too cool for that stuff.
He had been working a hard physical job in the summers for a number of years, and he’d developed real toughness already. Mental and physical, the kind that does not come cheap. He was humble, and cared about people. He’s always been a people person, while I’m much more reserved.
From the very first, he saw me. He saw deeper than a pretty young girl, confused and unsure, but very opinionated nonetheless. He saw me. And came to love me anyhow.
We were married the summer after our graduation. We became parents, three sons born to us in the next five years, during the worst economic times faced in my lifetime, with the exception of now, of course.
Those early years were very hard. There were times when I drove our little Pinto along the road late at night while he walked the ditches to find coke bottles. We took them in for gas money to get him to work. In spite of that, the first winter we were married he gave his coat to an old homeless man we knew, knowing full well we couldn’t buy him another one. I fell even more in love with him at that moment.
Like most all old married couples, we’ve had lots of good times, and plenty of bad ones. Spending the years with a man who won’t break has made them much better for me, and for our sons. He is a rock, and through it all, he’s never once faltered. Never complained, never been tempted to give up, never known defeat, because defeat does not exist in his world.
This weekend I honor a man among men. Dear God, please give us more of them. We really, really need them right now.
And they make great fathers, passing on that strength. God bless them all. Here’s to you, tough guys. Thanks for all you do.
Thank You for such a beautiful & uplifting post.
👍
I have been married for 35 years to a very similar gentleman. He is my rock and a great father to our two sons.
Happy Father’s Day to all of the great Dads out there!
This touched me on so many levels. Like you I married a tough, independent, smart, kind hearted, masculine man that I love dearly. We have been married for 46 years as well. Many hard times but we pulled through those rough spots. I adore tough masculine men and fear that our young men are being feminized on purpose. When I was teaching I worried about those young men always feeling like they were being drugged way too much so they would fit into the teaching system. Thank you for all of the enlightening articles that you write. I love the CTH! And the people who are here!
Roger that , good copy Sundancer !
What a wonderful post and testimony to your husband, my husband and I will celebrate our 35th on July 4, where does the time go? I spent twenty years as a military wife, don’t miss the motto: Hurry up and wait at all.
In America, men vote about 60% Republican, women vote about 60% Democrat.
There’s a similar breakdown between liberal and conservative parties in other western countries.
Women with strong male figures in their lives (married women) are far more likely to vote Republican.
The neurotic reaction to Donald Trump was very much the reaction of single women to an overtly masculine male figure.
To bring about the nanny state that leftists crave, they must overcome the aversion of strong men and women to being bossed around.
Check out the weaklings that the Canadian Conservative Party elected as leader their last two tries (Andrew Scheer and Erin O’Toole). The hope that liberals would migrate to the conservative political side if presented with non-threatening men proved futile, even pathetic. What weak people want from a leader is surely not softness in action.
Agree re: the “neurotic reaction to DJT” by liberal women and I think the escalation of women into jobs that should be held by men will not be good for our country. Male military members and male police officers should NOT report to a female, no matter how “capable” she is. I know this is not a popular view and even women on this site might disagree but it has become “the thing to do” – promote women, qualified or not, to positions of authority. Look at all the women (mostly Black these days) in positions of chief of police or mayor – giving women these powerful positions leads to them feeling threatened by a man like President Trump because they think they know more than he does. Time for men to stand up and take charge, in love, if only in their own families. The Bible instructs that the husband is the head of the household just as Jesus is the Head of the Church. I even think that, if only secretly, women will respect their husbands more if this occurs.
As a woman, I agree with you. Honestly no matter the position I really don’t agree with men reporting to women. I am sickened by the visible church promoting women into the role of pastor.
I spent 50 years as a surgeon. Operating room nurses. and most nurses I’ve found, prefer a male supervisor. Many male nurses are now coming out of the military and becoming supervisors.
Out of ‘Nam in ’72 as a 91b40 “Doc”, ER Medic at Santa Marta Hospital Y Clinica and part-time weekends ER Tech at San Dimas Community Hospital the reluctant acceptance of the ‘established’ medical hierarchy to my expertise was palpable but not disrespected. I imagine now, in retrospect, this was the impetus for going back to school and earning a degree in electrical engineering.
I am fine with women teaching women, and ministering to women. There are things that only another woman will understand.
But women and men are different, and men respond much better to other men leading them, than they do to women.
There are times when no man wants to stand up and lead, then the Lord sends a Deborah.
But the LORD sends a Deborah, she doesn’t volunteer, she doesn’t push her way in front of capable men who are trying to lead.
read II Timothy for the qualifications for a “bishop”…….” the husband of one wife”….with modern redefinition is the only way to finagle that one
I can’t be bossed, but I can be lead.
We need more “Davids” and way fewer “Jezebels!”
I see a female and/or minority mayor or PC my immediate thought is diversity hire
Stephan Molineaux shows a strong correlation between the rise of the nanny state and women’s sufferage…..it makes sense as women are always concerned with stability for their progeny
We moved from Long Island NY to Coleman oklahoma when I was 7. Lived in a tent then a shack for several months.
We moved out of a beautiful house in New York to hell.
I was young so all was just a game til school.
We had it hard, literally ate weeds, caught fish, ate squirrels, and rabbits, to make it to the next pay day. BUT…..it was common in those parts. Our neighbor told stories of eating buzzard and crow to have a meal. Quail was a precious delicacy. Jobs were scarce.
First summer my brown hair was platinum blond from sun working in our garden, and I was about crazy from heat, as well as my two brothers. My mom was already crazy for bringing us to that place.
Eventually we got a trailer to live in, no a/c which also was common. A tin can in 100 plus heat.
At 13 was cutting and loading wood in the winter and hauling hay all summer for 3.5 cents a bail, later we got 5cents. Picked up aluminum cans and beer bottles when jobs were not available.
Swam in creeks and streams with the snakes and snapping turtles.
15 bought my first car, Vega $310. So I could work more.
Was it hard? Never even thought about it until I see whinny little kids today.
Insurance was for the rich, we didn’t go to the doctor. Dentists were only if your teeth were so bad you couldn’t stand the pain.
Were we the exception? No, we had it better than some and we all tried to share to survive.
That was the seventies, and the generation before us had it much worse.
Those times were the best of my life. Work your butt off all day and go swim with your buddies. Girls worked right along beside us, maybe not able to lift as much but never quit.
And there was no gender problems made up by a bunch of sick idiots, they would have been run out of town. If there were homosexuals, we didn’t know them and we were all close in our schools and towns.
Don’t get me wrong there was abuse, rape, incest, drugs destroyed the young quick. Booze was always available, so the mine fields were laid just like today.
Some of the hardest working people I know were drunks.
I guess if one thing was a salvation it was family, then community. I can’t say I met very many selfish people in Oklahoma, they just didn’t make it if they were.
Hard men? Yeah I saw hard men. And this is the thing, men need that daily hammering to feel like men. It’s all good to nurture and comfort but men are made for physical challenges, work to the extreme.
I saw many a frail mommy boys come into our community. After a summer of hard labor there was no confusion on who they were, they thrived as men. They were not wanting a man they were acting like men. They were men!
Being a Dad has no equal, if you embrace it. If you shun it in any place, it will haunt you. Love the hide off those kids, makes em secure. Punish them when they step outta line, makes them feel loved.
Enjoy every brief moment with your kids, cherish it, they are God given.
Thanks for sharing Palerider
Nice post.
Another great read. Thank you Palerider!!
Happy Anniversary!
Beautiful words.
Happy Anniversary!! 🥂
Loved this column…you both are so lucky to have found each other and I wish you many more years of happiness.
Thanks for that great trubute to your great husband. I have been married to the female version of your husband for 35 years. Not a nasty or mean bone in her body. She loves her family and others unconditionally. Our daughter is a wonderful carbon copy. I don’t understand it and probably never will, but I thank God everyday for her presence in my life. This is not just hyperbole. Friends and acquaintances notice who this woman is and have acknowledged it many times.
Ben Franklin once wrote (effectually), “I have a wife who is a thrifty penny saver. Over a period of time she became worth a fortune to me”. This is how I feel about my wife in all aspects of daily life and interpersonal relations.
We finished a 48 day, 7500 mile road trip from west to east and back from California through the Southern US.
Never had a bad moment even when things didn’t go exactly as planned, as they always do. We both had a wonderful memorable time. At one of the many stops we had checked into a hotel and the desk clerk looked up at me and, out of the blue, stated, “Your wife is a very nice person, isn’t she?”
“A total sweetheart”, I instantly replied. It was even obvious to a total stranger.
A dang Pinto, I had a Pinto once!
When I was in the military, on a hot summer day, three of us decided to go the big lake near the base, for a swim. I owned the only working car a Pinto. On the way to the lake, the back tire blew out and aimed the Pinto across the road into an embankment, smashed the front end. It took ten minutes for another car to come along. We ask that they call the Sheriff, so I could get a tow, plus I needed a report for the insurance. No injuries no harm, except the Pinto.
A couple of guys from the base we knew came by ask what happened, told them the story. We ask if they could give us a ride to the lake, sure no problem. I asked the sheriff if we were ok to go ( still waiting for the tow truck), yep but take it easy, looking out from under that smokey the bear hat. Jump into the back of the truck and off we went.
A dang Pinto! When someone says, AH’ the good olds days. Hard times mixed with fun.
I still drive a “pinto motor”…’97 Ford Ranger with 390k miles and still runs great…(a bit cosmetically challenged)…26 mpg highway w/ ethanol free gasoline @ 75 mph.
I had that Pinto for about 8 months, I bought it because all I had to drive was a motorcycle to drive around the base and to the flight line . When I bought it (300 bucks) it had vapor lock so I was told, it would run then stop. I learned a trick. Remove the fuel line at the tank and at the carburetor and blow air throw the line, boom ran great.
But, I had no money to buy tires, so the little pony ended up in the salvage yard!
Even thought the Pinto did not make it to the lake I did and went diving. Jumped of a rock overhang and went to the bottom. I touched the bottom and came up with a 1936 Royal Crown Cola bottle and it still had the soda inside. I still have the soda bottle to this day, but not the pinto! AH’ the good old days.
Did you drink the soda?
LOL!
Nope! Still full and has a little fizz. Sits on a bookcase in the living room.
People ask about where i got it, and i tell them of the crazy day i lost a car but gained RC cola bottle. That bottle may be worth what i payed for the car.
I have always said God has a sense of hummer.
God Bless Real Men.
Happy Anniversary to you and your husband, Menagerie. Truly a beautiful and heart-warming description of your husband. You have been blessed, as he has with you as his wife. Wishes for health, happiness, love and blessings for you two.
Wait?! Sundance and Menagerie are not married?
Just not to each other!
Amen
Thanks menagerie.
The 50’s were the wonder years.
The 60’s….well, what can one say. Similar to now. Only the hippie protesters became our politicians and teachers.
Thank you for sharing from your heart in this way. And the honor you show for marriage and the man God chose for you. You are so blessed to have each other.
This weekend my wife and I also celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary. Well done!
Love to you and your family and thank you for your wonderful story.
How Blessed you are to have your husband, family, and be a significant part of CTH.
You described my dad and my uncles who grew up in the 30s and 40s. They worked long hard hours and on occasion played hard, too. I saw it all growing up as a kid in Brooklyn. Our home was a tiny one bedroom upstairs apartment without a front door. Hard to believe but it’s true. My dad worked the night shift so for years I only got to see him for a few minutes each day. My parents slept on a foldout sofa in the living room and three boys slept in a small bedroom the size of a walkin closet. An elevated subway station was a few feet from the bedroom window so we heard the subway train all night long in the summer. Our neighbors were Puerto Ricans and one older heavy set woman watched wrestling at night. With windows open you could here the TV and her shouts ” KILL HIM” followed by laughter. The owners of the factory where my dad worked didn’t celebrate Christmas so it wasn’t a holiday and he didn’t get off. One night coming home from work he was jumped by Black men and I got to see him pretty beaten up. He was lucky because our neighbor Jack was jumped a few nights later and he was brutally beaten. I saw the police and the ambulance carrying him on a stretcher out of their house. Jack and Evelyn moved soon afterwards. My parents decided that I would go Catholic School and the nearest one that would take me was close to Prospect Park so starting in the 2nd grade I walked ten city blocks past warehouses and junk yards to the bus stop took a city bus to the main line and then another city bus to the school carrying a leather school bag that weighed a lot more than me for the next eight years. My Uncle Tommy told me recently…”Those were great times weren’t they? We had nothing but we had everything.” I smiled and nodded my head!
Wow, that picture gave me a major flashback… my father forty feet up… sleeveless green t-shirt and trusty ol’ bandana… tweaking joints to perfection with a chainsaw and Sawzall…
Reminds me to make sure I call my mother tomorrow…
Our parents were all about us and giving us a future.
Then the “if it feels good do it” days came along and here we seem to be.
Not the Treepers but far too many parents who focus on themselves.
Thank you for your post. I very much appreciate all the things I read on this site and others about all our shared ideals. But how wonderful to hear the stories about how ideals are lived.
Thank you so much.
Darn, it just got dusty in here, and I count myself in that same club of guys that does what needs to be done without complaint. Thanks for sharing that.
That’s a very touching post. Our civilization needs many more REAL women who share these sentiments.
Unfortunately, I’ve never married or had kids, but my brothers both succeeded were I failed. They’re both contractors, working with their hands day in day out, and they managed to stay married and raise 7 kids in total. They’re the best this world has to offer, and they’re my best friends. They might not know how much the world needs and appreciates them, so I sent your words to them in hope that they can see. Thank you so much!!!
You didn’t fail because you’re not married or have kids; God has a plan for every one of us.
I know many who remained single and did not have children. They loved but something always happened, i.e. death or war.
Marriage is not for everyone and quite frankly neither are children.
No one knows exactly what God has planned; so, I don’t question.
Congratulations! I’m in year 39 currently.
A big Salute to toxic masculinity!
I live in SE Louisiana and 2020 was a tough year. In addition to Covid, we had Hurricane Laura, which was probably the strongest hurricane you never heard of. Then a month later, we had a second storm, Hurricane Delta(they ran out of names in 2020). Our town was devastated. Still is, but we are coming back. It takes years to recover from something like this. Anyway, after we got slammed another storm hit to the west of us, and I saw a post on facebook from someone over there asking for advice on how to survive in the aftermath of such an event. Along with the standard litany of batteries, drinking water, non perishable food etc. was the statement, “Learn to embrace toxic masculinity”. That is so true. The day after Laura we returned to our town to find the majority of power lines down. Huge oaks across roads. Entire homes and commercial buildings obliterated. At dawn, with winds still blowing, men with trucks, heavy equipment, chainsaws and so forth, organized and began clearing the roads. These were not emergency workers or even government related. They were farmers, construction companies, refinery and oilfield people who did it on their own. By mid afternoon, the major streets were navigable. They set up communications on facebook and other forums and peformed wellness checks on the elderly. They made sure they had water and food. They evacuated those who would go, and got supplies and even generators for those who would not. They were not asked to do this, they were not paid. They just saw people who needed help and they helped them. God Bless.
Those are the powerful experiences people have that structure the best of being human. No doubt you are stronger for having had such an experience. Thank you for sharing your story.
God bless you and yours, Menagerie. You found each other.
Thank you. I hope at the 46 year mark my wife can say as much about me. God bless you both!
Wow….
A marvelous piece to honor your husband….
Thank you for sharing!
Great stuff Menagerie. Let’s hope we can all get through this current deep state planned nightmare and come out stronger. Like your fine husband, we will NEVER, EVER GIVE IN !!!
Nice story. Very uplifting!
Happy Anniversary to you both, Menagerie – thank you for sharing that!
CONGRATULATIONS.. so glad your path has been enjoyed with a great soulmate… Semper Fi
God Bless you and your family.
40 years for us. Four adult children. All married. 6 grandchildren and another on the way. We are in our early 60’s. Life has been great.
Nice Post.. Thanks.
We likewise “walked the ditches”, but for aluminum cans, in the early ’80’s, for the gas money (thank goodness it was a lot cheaper then). Folks not much different then (can’t seem to keep the trash in their vehicles).. appreciated the cans, but not the mentality… still don’t.
Lovely post, M. I too am a fan of toxic masculinity.
Have a wonderful anniversary and father’s day weekend!
Stay blessed.
Bless you Menagerie … “you make me want to be a better man”
My own wife of 40 years could never say … “he’s never once faltered. Never complained. Oh … I’ve done plenty of that. Plenty. However … she CAN and WILL say that I’ve … “never been tempted to give up, never known defeat, because defeat does not exist in his world”. Defeat is a word I don’t understand. What has ever looked like defeat in my world was actually the foundation for new success
WOWEE! What a great read Menagerie! Respect, love, pride, honesty…yes, we really do need such men now! Thank you, thank you!!!
Jesus was the ultimate “tough guy”.
He suffered on the cross to save those who could not save themselves, purely out of love.
Hooray for tough guys!
How come there’s a tear in my eye? I usually say men don’t need a “Father’s Day” but she touched me with her praise.
Happy Anniversary, Mr. & Mrs. Menagerie! I bet he wouldn’t evenind me calling him that. He sounds like that kind of guy. ☺️. 🥳❤️
What a wonderful story Menagerie! You found the soul mate you were meant to find and your life has been richer and brighter in the colors of times well spent. He is your guy. That’s all one ever needs in a life partner. God bless you both!
Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there!
Wow. Happy Anniversary
Thank you for sharing that with us, Menagerie. Have a wonderful anniversary and may God bless you with many more years together!
Thanks for that post, M’Lady. I have many friends who worked in the woods harvesting timber. City folk have no idea how hard these guys work or how dangerous it is. I was a simple carpenter until sciatica forced me out. We worked hard, but nothing like the loggers.
A woman honoring and loving her man? Who would’ve thought?