Folks, this story is not from The Onion or any version of sarcastic media. This is very real.
To meet the compliance standards of the Paris Climate Accords and the subsequent treaty that all EU nations agreed to, they must reduce carbon emissions in freight and transit systems. They have spent thousands of hours pouring over possible solutions and will begin the test phase next month.
Bloomberg News – At the start of next year, the Ville de Bordeaux, a 154-meter-long ship that moves aircraft components for Airbus SE, will unfurl a 500 square meter kite on journeys across the Atlantic Ocean. It will undergo six months of trials and tests before full deployment.
While the industry has come up with multiple decarbonization initiatives, it is struggling to keep pace with goals set out under the Paris Agreement on climate. There’s also pressure on shipping lines from large customers who are pressing to make their own supply chains less polluting. (read more)
Yes my friends, the extremely well educated scientists, physicists, climatologists, sustainability engineers and cross functional decarbonization problem solvers for the planetary saving climate justice agenda, have invented…. wait for it….
….Sailboats!
Egad.
That is going to work really well in the North Atlantic in winter. These people are dangerously stupid.
The whole idea blows 🙂
At this rate, they will soon require mouth turbines to charge your cell phone. If you can strap on a mask, you can certainly strap on a mouth turbine and utilize the wind power generated from breathing.
Eventually we will not be generating enough CO2 to grow the crops we need to feed our population. At that point termite farms will suddenly become all the rage so we can repurpose wood into CO2.
LOL.
Why don’t they give European environmentalists an oar and build slip-on shelves (for the ship hull) so the environmentalists can row to provide propulsion for these ships? The shelves can be built with recycled material. The food provided to the environmentalists can also be made of recycled food products
Genetically modified food products.
I was thinking more like feeding the enviro freaks to the sharks.
Sharks are deffo more useful than ecofascists.
maybe harnesses could be put on the sharks to help pull the ship if they encounter doldrums…this would create a whole new job–shark-trainers.
Then you would have to deal with PETA.
I love the Treehouse, comedy thread.🙃🤣
Nah … each ship will install 5,000 Peletons connected to a giant paddle wheel! Mainly because “bikes are kewl” … hell … most of the ChiCom peasants peddle them to work
The blind leading the blind.
From Mars Attacks
Sincere belief of all those Hollywood types living in their 50,000 square foot mansions to all of us in flyover country.
Not kidding about the size. If you ever look at satellite views of Beverly Hills/Belair you will see for yourself.
Ship of Fools
How come the Sun is not a member of the Paris Climate Accords ?
It has about a million times as much effect on the Earth’s climate as puny little man and woman have.
Just another way our elected representatives want to tax their constituents.
Repeal the 16th Amendment.
And 17th
And when the wind is not strong enough to move the multi ton vessel the crew will be required to drop their drawers and fart at the kite. BREAKING – baked bean futures soar at announcement.
Wouldn’t it be more effective if they had wind turbines on the ship generating power to the propulsion system. That way when the wind was blowing direction would not matter. These fanatical idiots do not fix problems they exacerbate them.
https://shipmanagementinternational.com/the-wind-carries-a-shipping-revolution-wallenius-marine-ab-joins-the-international-windship-association/
Here’s the picture from the link:
NOPE. Column inches. Look up old Popular Science issue….been writing this concept for 40 years.
Why is my Chinese Amazon shit stranded 1,000 miles from Hawaii? Someone go fetch it, before it gets permanently stuck in the GIANT swirling plastic patch, the size of Texas out there in the Pacific. Help!
When, and if, they can get to it, they will require you pay more to get it to you – this shipping new technology is getting more expensive in every way
Art is one thing. The strain on the mast another. Unobtainian imho.
On the excellent Youtube site Veratasium you can see a propeller mounted on bike wheels that, believe it or not, goes faster than the wind propelling it!
come on … just put windmills and solar panels on them …
AOC – “We”need to invent technology that hasn’t been invented yet”. How about brain transplants so she can get one.
With benefits, she makes 200,000+ per year to say things like that.
That bug-eyed baby-leftard Junk A-OOOO-GRRRR Young Turk actress goofus gives women a bad name.
And our ears burn for it.
Isn’t she the one that suggested a train to the moon?
train running underwater more like it – to/from Hawaii
Paris Climate ‘Money Laundering’ Scheme…..
There’s only one thing that is extremely obvious here: “there’s tons of money in this!!”
“Disrupt” something that works, leaving it certainly no better and undoubtedly much worse than it was, and while doing so rake in just as much cash as you can.
Way too funny the nina pinta. Santa maria pressed back in serivce they pass climate restriction
We’ve produced two generations of Bevis and Butthead characters around the world.
WE’RE just too nice. If someone comes up with a climate control remark, we need to remind them, rudely, how stupid they are.
(Just don’t turn your back on them.)
I’m way beyond being nice anymore.
Nice is what got us this deeply entrenched in the “stupidity Marxist Pit”.
I am a licensed Professional Chemical Process Engineer, and while I think the Green Raw Deal is a Power and Money sucking Scam, I am for the implementation, at least the trial, of stuff like this. I don’t think it should be mandated any more than vaccines. But it should be encouraged and rewarded.
And of course Scripture reminds us “There is no New thing under the Sun.”
If/when I retire my land in the boonies will look like this, with low velocity windmills that look like large pinwheels on their backs, solar on the roof, battery banks in the barn, and small hydro electric in the creek/pond. But I will also have a large deisel generator, maybe a retired welding rig and at least a 2yr propane supply too.
One wonders why such a learned man, with degrees, and a “heart for innovation” … wants to retreat to a primitive, off-the-grid existence? Doesn’t sound too progressive to me? But there IS a symmetry between your belief system and your dream lifestyle. I can only assume you will forgo modern weapons with cartridges and use a flintlock or bow and arrow to hunt and defend your hermits cave
Maybe he doesn’t want to depend on the government for the energy he consumes?
Though with hydroelectric, the rest is probably unnecessary?
Ot is it a “heart for immolation?”
Sounds great. Just don’t ask for gov subsidies like these people all will
Manufacture what you can in your own country for what your citizens need. That will cut down on the need for many shipping vessels.
This is what happens when you close mental health institutions and promote insanity.
AOC/DC Innovative Mixology Technologist
The federal government never gave me too much because I worked and they were always stealing too much from me to pay for you not working.
Taxation is theft and savery. The US Constitution was written plainly that taxation was ONLY allowed for war (declared war by Congress) and the Supreme Court ruled it was OK to broaden the scope with the 16th Amendment in 1913 that allowed CONgress the ability to tax the citizenry by any means they wanted.
Hang all the traitors and their slaver ways.
I want my country back where I OWN the house I bought and paid for without the government stealing that too if I don’t pay their criminal cartel the yearly insurance to let me stay in it.
It’s been a while since this joke was referenced….
What did the socialist use before candles?
Electricity!
AOC…a bartender is making life altering decisions for the country.
God will not save us from ourselves.
Wait until they figure out the row boat.
They’ll be just like the wind turbines, on the face of it an environmental solution but still using diesel power, the majority of the time. Like most green schemes an expensive, illusion to assuage liberal ‘guilt’.
If some Engineers/whatever figure out how to do this successfully, then they really ARE geniuses.
Cuz on the face of it, it looks like sheer lunacy.
At the very least, an accident waiting to happen, assuming they can even get the ship to budge.
“When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.”
That is why their solution to everything resembles a mask.
Next up – banning gas stoves, gas lines into homes, etc. – per LA Times
We’ll be heating with wood campfires & eating bugs picked off one another in no time.
Our gkids are gonna be soooo happy.
The New York City Council just voted to BAN all new natural gas hookups in NYC.
Make no mistake … they will follow this up by ripping out all existing gas meters too.
You need to get to root cause, find out what is on these vessels that people need and eliminate the need. I’m talking about the people.
The blessing in disguise might be when these new “sailboats” take months to get from China to California then months more to get containers out of port perhaps more manufacturing will return to America? Something President Trump ran on and won! Contingent of course on our idiots in Congress not screwing the pooch when it comes to our trucking industry!
I kite board in my off time around the St. Pete beach areas . I use a 12m Duotone kite which is perfect for moderate to windy days , i weigh 210 pounds and the kite will pull me along the beach and sometimes into the air . I cannot even fathom the size of a kite required to pull an ocean going freighter across the ocean . going down wind is one thing , cutting into the wind is a whole different ball of wax .
What happens when there is no wind?
China, India, and third world countries building and using more coal fired power plants will pump out more CO2 emissions than “decarbonization” could ever possibly remove.
Next proposal row boats. The Romans did it. Sundance said it best the greatest minds in Europe came up with this. Can you say mass insanity.
How about banks of treadmills……. like the view in The Matrix of all the little tubs with people in them generating electricity, big banks of treadmills, all driving the propeller of the ship.
The Montreal protocol mandated that we stop using cfc’s/hfc’s.
It Mandated freon recovery licenses for all a/c work and we ended up with freon blends that reduced the cooling abilities of equipment that wasn’t designed for the new blends.
All to save the ozone layer.
We have thousands of rockets that have punched thru the ozone, tons of space trash burning thru the ozone layer upon reentry without any concerns from those same people.(nobody cares)
They are using geoenginering to “stabilize”the temperatures and control the weather.
Destroying the ozone!
(Nobody cares)
(After 911 when the planes were grounded.
(no chem trails)
Average temperatures rose almost 2°f. Worldwide.)
The HAARP attacks the ozone layer.(nobody cares)
Now we are experiencing severe weather events from storms to droughts regularly.
Stop creating disasters to justify the transfer of wealth!
Shut down HAARP!
Stop the rockets!
Stop the geoenginering!
Quit trying to master mother nature.
Use our natural resources.
Drill baby Drill!
Where are the semi intelligent greenies?
“…the Ville de Bordeaux, a 154-meter-long ship that moves aircraft components for Airbus SE…”
Why not put the giant sail on the aeroplanes?
How about wooden row boats, I hear those work well.
Meanwhile … we’ve had Nuclear powered submarines since the 1950’s.
Ewwww … did I just PRAISE the 1950’s? Quick! Someone Fact-check me and cancel me!!
Ah, to find at last, that the almighty FACT CHECK sites were only opinions!! Thought so!
Will need to look more like this.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clipper
It looks like a spinnaker to me. It’s a sort of half a balloon sail that a sailboat deploys from the bow to catch the wind behind them. We called it “running with the wind” when I was sailing as a kid. (eons ago) They better be careful because it takes a bit to pull it in and can easily spin the boat around with those oceans winds.
Hi- Am a PE licensed in 7 states. Re. Parasails for cargo ships:
“ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME ???” Ha ah this a joke right, you just cannot make up this shiite.
This was in a popular science article decades ago. Not a new idea. Actually, think it’s fairly interesting and makes good economic sense where and if it’s effective. Aside from the carbon issue, reducing the amount of fuel used in any transit could significantly reduce costs to the ship operators. Having said that, I’d have thought that if it was effective at all, it would have gained popularity 20 years ago.
Here’s SkySail failing on 2007: https://www.popsci.com/article/2007-12/ppx-skysail-closes/
Darling is the wind blowing, I hope the supermarket got some food.
…And passengers and crew are encouraged to, when necessary, break wind astern. (Sharting included).
“Paging,
Eric “Mr Windy” Swallwell.
Come in Mr Windy, your time is up and we have a new assignment for you. It involves sun, sea and travel!”
—-
Finally, I can see I have missed what the climate change lobby is all about. It’s a scheme to harness all the hot air coming from our fearless leaders!!
Another story I like a lot, and think can do nothing but help us.
It’s lunacy and the Left has lost the ability to see that.
This is truly their Emperor’s New Clothes moment and they truly can’t see he’s naked. It boggles the mind!
Thank you Bloomberg indeed!
what do they do when the wind dies and the keel haul it?
The new age of sail. Any more evidence needed that these morons are devolving?
I might suggest that everyone get right with God as it becomes clearer every day that the these times are coming to an end. The virtuous will be saved but the virtue signalers will not.
And the politicians pushing this nonsense will be the ones investing in the company making the kites, So no matter what the trials show, it will go ahead so they can get their taxpayer funded payouts.
I’m anxious to see this technology applied to automobiles. Goodbye Tesla!
Can we call her “Ratona” on this site??
What magical material is the kite string made out of? Light enough to have the kite keep it aloft and strong enough to pull 100s of tons through the water.
Liberal thought process: If it ain’t broke, fix it until it is.
It’s special nano pixie dust fibers woven into a gluten-free proprietary yarn. Yes, it IS magic. Kind of like the magic that will keep solar panels and wind turbines working all year round. Those Progressive MIT graduates are AMAZING!!!
Spider silk from the milk of genetically modified goats…..
https://backyardgoats.iamcountryside.com/kids-corner/the-spectacular-spider-goats/
Also needs to be salt water resistant.
I join in the ridicule, as its hard to resist.
There IS, just barely SOME basis for this foolish idea.
My friend is into sailboats, and there IS a system available, of using these Kites instead of sails, on catamarans and 30′-60′ sailboats, and they do have advantages.
But yes, a 100’s of tons cargo ship, pretty rediculous notion.
This points to another aspect of progressive “article of faith”; they fervently BELIEVE in innovation and technology as (in addition to GOVERNMENT) the answer to all mankinds problems.
Its part of the whole extolling and worship of SCIENCE, and Government, that accompanies rejecting God.
One of the fatal flaws in their Big plan, is based on this faith; they believe technology will enable them to CONTROL humanity, world wide.
Beyond the absurdity, this story shows how THEY are running smack into reality.
The EU have made COMMITMENTS they aren’t able to keep; Germany shutting down Nukes, and plastering solar panels everywhere, now needing to buy Russian oil, to keep their populace from freezing, and coming up with pie in the sky kites on cargo ships, all to KEEP COMMITMENTS they have already made, in a rediculous, unrealistic effort to reduce CO2, which has little/nothing to do with the earths temp.
Really, of coarse all a “CON” to usher in a Great Reset, a Global transformation to a Worldwide Global, centralised Marxist One World Collectivist Government.
I certainly may be wrong, but I don’t see them as being succesful.
Slaughtering 100’s of millions in the process of failing? THAT is certainly possible.
I agree these people ARE Evil, am convinced they are deranged, but not convinced they are nearly as SMART as they think they are.
Spot on as always, Dutch.
I would go so far as to say that the number intended to be slaughtered is in the billions.
Furthermore, that such carnage and disruption in their eyes would be a success even if they failed to create their utopia.
Zerstörung uber alles!
Read carefully: a 500 m^2 kite measures 20m x 25m. That’s about 60′ x 75′, roughly the size of a basketball court. It wouldn’t even get a loaded cargo ship moving.
It’s called a Spinaker in sailing and they are a real pain-in-ass to handle at 1/50th the size of these monstrosities!
Supply chain will soon become a literal supply chain, just pull the darn thing across the oceans. Throw anchor, reel it in, repeat. Worked for me stuck in a channel, a little slow.
Why don’t we just build wind powered railway shipping routes on land? That could save a ton in greenhouse gasses.
Worked fine for my rubberband airplanes.
They used to be called prairie schooners.
The Real old time fishermen would use tightly woven baskets weigted down, to ride the tides going out and in.
The ploebs can be put to work pulling the 50-mile long chain while the socialite sit high upon the balcony overlooking the seas and enjoying the fruits of “their” labor.
Look! We created jobs, too!