h/t WeeWeed
Listen,
bear spray
DOES NOT
work like bug spray.We would like to not have to say that again.
— Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation (@OKWildlifeDept) May 23, 2022
This made me think about really dumb things I’ve seen people say or do over the years. You know, the ones that are just a head and shoulders above the usual.
While I’m quite sure every profession has their own share of stupidity, years of working in retail management left me convinced that a huge number of people have no common sense whatsoever, and as most of us know, common sense is often inversely related to IQ. And education!
Here is perhaps my all time favorite unbelievably dumb story. You’re going to think I’m making this up, and it was an attempt at a joke, or someone trying to aggravate me. I promise you, it wasn’t.
Before I went into retail sales and then management, I sold building materials wholesale. My favorite part of that was selling millwork, in particular high end windows and doors like Marvin and Kolbe & Kolbe. There are dozens of details that must be exactly right when dealing with a large custom order of windows and doors, and any mistake can result in the windows not fitting, or other costly problems. Because of the complexity and expense of Marvin orders, most of my retailers simply refused to deal with their own customers and always had me deal directly with the orders.
One of the lumber yards in town had a guy who just wasn’t too bright, and he was kind of treated like the unpopular kid in school by his fellow salesmen. He was a challenge to deal with because he had a way of making errors happen and also promising his customers things that could not be delivered. I wish now, looking back, that I’d been more patient with him, not that I was cruel or unkind. But he sure made my job extra hard. Anyhow, there’s no one left after thirty plus years to harm in an anonymous story.
One job he sold had a pair of french doors in the great room. They were to be placed at the end of the long room, one on either side of a center fireplace, so naturally there was one of each hand. A few days after the order was delivered he called me in a panic, insisting I meet him at the job site to discuss a major problem with the contractor. When I asked him what the problems was, he told me the doors were the wrong hand, both of them.
I never did find out for sure if the contractor and his employees were as dumb as the salesmen or making him the butt of a bad joke. Of course I suspect the latter, but I worked with some really, really dumb contractors too.
I can’t tell you how many times they came in to Home Depot and told me they needed to know how much siding they needed for a 2,000 square foot house. Or how many roof shingles, also giving me square footage without roof pitch and other pertinent information.
Share your best stories, be they professional or from some other walk of like. It’s time to toss a little fun in the day.
Lol. I know that guy’s retail doppelganger I’m sure. We bought 14 of 21 custom Andersen windows through him.
I had a guest in our hotel ask me while we were standing at the bottom of the stairs, “Are these the stairs that go up?”
I spent the better part of 30 years in the firearms industry, 20 of them as a gunsmith. I saw many potentially dangerous and irresponsible mistakes made, and some less worrisome and outright funny ones as well. Had a customer call about a single shot 12ga shotgun that wasn’t firing or properly ejecting the unfired round upon opening the action.
As always, whenever possible I’d have the customer bring in an example of the ammo they were using when the malfunction occurred. The man shows up, hands me the gun and the box of ammo he was using. The gun was a 12 Gauge, but the ammo he was trying to use, was 20 Gauge, which immediately explained why the firing pin couldn’t hit the primer and the extractor couldn’t eject the round.
This was no novice shooter, he simply grabbed a box of what he thought was 12ga at the gun shop. It was a true facepalm moment, and we both had a good laugh. I promised that should I ever tell this story that I’d leave out his name, which I will still honor. He became a regular customer, and I got a fair amount of word-of-mouth business from him as well.
Good times.
At one time I worked for a division of Honeywell supporting another division of Honeywell..
The Safety Nazi’s were the bane of my existence.
One day I walked into the avionics repair lab.
Now these were some of the best bench techs anywhere.
What do I find newly posted? A notice that said.
Remember the pointed end of the soldering iron gets very hot!
Just a friendly reminder from your Safety Department.
This wasn’t a joke. They had no sense of humor whatsoever.
I quit soon after.
I am a Chiropractor. I had a neighbor that I treated for a minor motor cycle accident. She was 70+ years old and had been on the back of a bike that fell over at an intersection..minor…but she injured her neck.
She also had a middle finger injury, which I diagnosed as ‘trigger finger” with the appropriate (at the time) ICD-9 code, which is a real code.
I did not charge her up front, as she was a neighbor, I just gave her my bill/notes to deal with the insurance company herself.
She came back after reviewing my notes and said I was cheating her because she never had an injury to her ‘trigger finger’, it was to her middle finger.
A ‘trigger finger’ is ANY finger that is contracted.
I was a bookstore manager many years ago. A young woman asked to be shown the poetry section, as she wanted to find more poetry by an author who had written a poem she had recently come across and was quite fond of. The author’s name was anon. I was young myself and was so embarrased for her that I showed her the anon section of poetry and left her there.
Kid in college felt his computer was running slow, so he took out the hard drive and oiled it. Engineering major.
NOOOOO!! I have never, I repeat, never, posted in any comments section of any website. This comment made me so angry I felt compelled. I sincerely hope he has never been put in charge of anything important, like a bridge design or something. Probably a govt. contracted engineer at this point. This world sucks some times.
There are creatures walking upright on two legs that move up and down the street I live on every day wearing surgical masks.
Beat That !
Your checks in your mouth and I won’t come in your mailbox.
This many not translate as many people no longer know what a 5 1/4″ floppy diskette was. (Out of curiosity I just searched for them and you can still buy them. What you’ll use them in is no doubt 30 years old I suspect.) It is a magnetic storage device from the early days of personal computing and would hold a titanic 360 kilobytes of data. Well, that was the double sided ones. The others only 180k. I was managing a team rolling out a new word processing program at a client which came on, as I remember it, six floppies. You put the first one in, typed a command in a window and the install program would grind away and install the software.
I wander out in the bullpen and wait patiently to talk to one of my guys who is, it becomes obvious, on the phone with one of the clients who’s having trouble installing the software. Now, trust me, if you can put the floppy labeled 1 in the diskette drive, close the door, and type the word “install” and press enter, it’ll install.
He has the manual open and is very patiently explaining what to do. It becomes obvious he’s already done this several times. Eventually he says, ‘OK, what I’d like you to do is go back to when you opened the package and describe exactly what you did at each step along the way.’
Suddenly he does a spit take with his coffee and hits the mute button on the phone and starts laughing hysterically.
When he calms down he explains that this client had interpreted the instruction, ‘remove the disk from the sleeve’ a little differently. They’d used scissors to cut the edge of the diskette open, then pulled out the 1 mm thick media inside and had been unable to insert it into the diskette drive.
Uh, yeah! 😀
While touring the Gettysburg battle grounds our guide told us about a tourist who had asked him why anyone would fight a war at a tourist attraction.