To say the person inside the opaque glass enclosure was stunned, physically flummoxed and surprised in the moment just before the security officers arrived to escort me to the guarded holding area, would be an understatement. And trust me, there’s been some stunned moments visible in the eyes of people who encountered me.

“You need to come with us,” was the end result of a brief conversation at passport control. Followed by “We need to ask you some questions.”  A few hours later I exited onto the streets of the forbidden zone, with an ear-to-ear grin that would only be understood by those in my family who saw how it started as a child.  However, before getting to that part of the story, let me begin with the end in mind.

This journey is not for those of worried disposition, and I do not recommend it for anyone who does not carry a strong stable constitution of snarky and pragmatically humorous outlook.  In many ways this journey is exactly what you would expect, in other ways it is so completely the opposite it’s bizarre.

Y’all already know the motives and intents of how it started [Background] so, I’m going to skip the part about why I chose to do this, and instead focus on the stuff that’s likely of greater interest, the discovery stuff.  I’m only here to find out the truth of stuff in Russia vs what we are led to believe.

To begin, I have found the majority of people do not understand the truth of real things and do not believe that its possible for an American to travel to Russia. Perhaps you would be surprised at the number of people who have bought into the pretenses sold by media and don’t think such a journey is physically possible.

The funny thing is, within the system of travel requests and travel permissions, nothing has changed; yet, everyone acts like everything has changed. It’s a weird dynamic to navigate a system that everyone -on both sides- believes no longer exists, but it does.

Almost all of the Russian visa centers, consulates and offices within the Western Zone, are no longer operable. For example, in the USA there are only two offices to submit an application to travel to the “forbidden zone.”  One office in Washington DC another in New York. Neither accepts mail applications nor mailed documents, so that makes the logistics more challenging, but not impossible. It depends on how determined you are.

I should also add that some U.S. politicians have no idea what is legally possible. I say this because oddly some asked me to give them instructions on the process. (I have no idea why.) I should also note that everything in this process I’m describing is done with legitimate compliance, nothing is sketchy.

Current travel to the FZ is a little goofy; then again, it always was. You first have to get a letter of invitation – a strangely worded process from what I can only fathom was a former Soviet era approach that somehow remains in place. You get the letter of invitation from a quasi-official process. Keep in mind, everything RU is “quasi-something.”

So, you text a phone number +1(202) 436-XX55 [I filtered the number because I don’t want any unsuspecting knucklehead to try it out and get on some list, but if you want it – email CTH]. Within your text you need to give them your name, email address and approximate date for your travel. The travel voucher people will respond with a link to fill out a voucher application with details. Once you fill out and submit the form, they send you a bill. You pay the bill, and you get a travel voucher/invitation via pdf attachment.  This is your “invitation.”  The cost of the invitation depends on the type of travel visa you need.

After you get the travel invitation, you then fill out a lengthy VISA application form on a Russian consulate site. The questions are lengthy, detailed and generally you are giving them your life story. Then you print the application, attach your photograph, and you must take it to a Russian VISA center. Another quasi-governmental process.

In the USA you cannot mail the documents. You must physically take the visa application, travel invitation and your passport to Washington DC or New York. You pay the visa center to process your request. You must pay in cash. You leave the documents and your passport with the center, who then send everything to the consulate for review and/or visa approval. The center gives you a receipt with a consulate link to track your application.

You check the link provided on your receipt, and when you notice the process has returned to the visa center (a few weeks), you must then travel back to pick up your passport and visa. You do not know if you are approved or not until you pick up your passport and check. If yes, there is a full-page visa sticker inside. If no, then nothing, and you don’t get an explanation.

You can tell following the official and legal process is a little complicated, a little expensive (with travel) and annoying, but generally, it’s not unmanageable. From beginning to end, give yourself about a month to complete the tasks.

Once you have the visa, you can then plan travel. However, given the nature of the current politics, you cannot travel directly. You have to travel to a place where you can transition to travel into the RU. Turkey, a NATO member, but not an EU member state, is the hub most people use to transfer from the west to a flight into the Russian Federation.

Turkey, particularly Istanbul, is making a ton of money as an RU transit hub. Their economy is booming as the gateway into and out of the Russian federation. However, you don’t have to use Turkey; once you have an RU visa, you can fly into Russia from any Grey Zone country.

There are not many people doing this. During my trips to the visa centers, I could tell the only people there were operatives of various opaque three-letter agencies and some American contractors (some glowing brightly). The Russians and the USA agents/contractors all knew each other well and conversed with great ‘openly visible’ affection. It was like visiting a secret club where everyone else knew the rules except me. lol.. Seriously… it was casually funny.

This was a travel request process with great deliberateness, and I undertook it with extreme compliance for the detail needed. At the same time, I went through the process with a lighthearted approach and laughed at the silly stuff I discovered along the way. That humorous approach became very useful when the RU passport control officers, uniformed military, took me into the airport holding room for “questioning.”

Apparently, not many people are getting RU travel visas, and the arriving officers were a little surprised that everything was done “by the book” so to speak. After lengthy questioning (which was a little funny if you are not prone to intimidation), fingerprinting (took six guards in case I went full Jason Bourne on them), pictures (yes lots of them, the lineup kind) and general waiting while sitting on a green metal chair in an empty room while officers called other officers to find out what to do, I conjured up mental images of low-earth orbiting satellites suddenly activating and various computer networks coming online in dark and unused basements, the tone changed…. slightly.

I was escorted to passport check kiosk #47 for the friendly “welcome to Russia” part.

Big heavy stamp, thud SHIOO-WHACK noise!

“Wait, wha.., that’s it?… Da!

At this point the airport was generally closed, everything was dark, and as I descended the stopped escalator (now a stairs), I noticed my checked bag sitting on the floor in a big empty room at the end of a long-ago-stopped baggage claim conveyor belt.

I grabbed my bag, laughed at the hollow sound of the dark green/rusty exit door slamming behind me, and was greeted by a couple of laughing Ruskie wolverines sitting on the hood of a car eating pizza and smiling.  “Comrade!“, funny – not funny.

Oh, and it’s the middle of April and snowing!

I’ll have much more later… Fascinating stuff about the WEST vs RU communication networks, blocked online systems, banking etc in the next article.

Oh, and remember how much you paid attention to the daily happenings of the U.S. war in Afghanistan? That’s the analogy for how the average Russian I have encountered thinks of Ukraine, which is to say – not much really.  There’s far more discussion of Ukraine in the USA than there is in Russia.

Another odd little social detail I noticed.  I’m in the most culturally progressive, young, urban, hip, coffee shop type geography in the country (St Petersburg); everyone has a newer model cell phone, and I noticed something different immediately.  People don’t walk around attached to their devices here, you just don’t see it.   People physically talk to each other, use phones for actual phone calls, and at dinner there’s no one with their head in their cell phone in the entire restaurant. It’s like 1990’s USA.

Ask me anything in general terms and I will try to respond shortly.  Remember, one question per comment.

Posted in Big Government, Big Stupid Government, European Union, propaganda, Russia, Travel, Uncategorized
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