With the scribbled Santa Lists in his hand he looked around the store, taking more internal measure of what was not possible this year.  His heart sank.  

Lights were bright, colors bold, and generally the people moving up and down the aisles seemed cheerful, albeit deliberate, in their considerations.   Yet for him, for the first time, he felt inadequate. 

He began to think this year will be a measure of his failure;  with little money, it would be impossible to fulfill those carefully written wishes.  

Filled with an anxiety known to a growing number of people he felt fear.   Then a whisper he was previously able to fight away began to creep toward him – Boldly striking the bells of pride with a deafening resonance.    If he cannot purchase the *stuff*, he cannot provide for his family, and his value is less.

The Christmas Season brings with it joy, hope and fun.   However, beyond the tinsel, bows and shiny things, Christmas can also bring a heightened sense of despair.

Madison Avenue does a great job of making an increasingly product focused society define and measure value from the perspective of a brand new Lexus with a six foot perfectly adorned bow topper.
If such is attainable, you are successful and hold worth.  If such is unattainable you are less, perhaps far less.
And it doesn’t take the scale of a Lexus to make a feeling of inadequacy any less impactful.  It could be the unattainability of a video console, a pair of sneakers, a gadget all the cool kids own, or even a specific ‘everyone-gotta-have’ T-Shirt.
We all want to give that which a child desires.    Often we measure ourselves by the ability to provide that desire; and absent of our ability – we are failing.
As soon as you begin to focus on your inability, you allow the dark whispers, evil whispers who deceitfully enjoy infecting your heart, to define yourself solely on the basis of Pride, Ego and ultimately short-comings.
This is a dangerous season as much as a joyful one.

This message is written to those who are vulnerable to the deception, while fully understanding that many, if not all, may not even know the battle surrounds them.
Yes, it is that good at deception.

First things first.  Evil is real.

Failure to accept the existence of evil, does NOT protect you from it.   In full scope and brutal measure, the denial of evil’s existence is -in large part- the aspect of advancement which constructs the deception evil thrives upon.
Denial creates the pathway for evil, confrontation destroys it.
Evil will never confront you openly, because the love of a living God is the shield AND the sword – both of which you possess.  Evil cannot move forward without you placing the fear-filled pavers beneath it’s feet.
You always have a choice, and inside that very choice is the motive for Evil to whisper and not scream.   The control is deceptive.
So, you must first accept that evil, in a very real sense, is right there looking for an opportunity to begin the process of your own fear defining your value.
Evil counts on you being alone.
Being unable to talk to people you care about who might be able to assuage your fears is a key aspect of evil’s plan based on hopelessness.   Evil thrives on your fear; it wants you to fear.
It wants you to fear embarrassment, pain, confession of inability and honesty.
Evil wants you alone, like a frightened child, where it can whisper to you about what might be under the bed, or inside the cracked closet door.  Evil wants you to be frozen and unable to escape the grip of your own thought.   Within those thoughts are where you do it’s work for it, and easily conjure up the worst imaginable.
Evil wants you to judge yourself based on your inability.    The influence of evil is inherent in the judgments of affluence.

{  DEEP BREATH }

If you are still reading I want you to do a mental exercise with me.  RIGHT NOW.
At a certain time in your life you were eleven years old.   If you are older than eleven, this is an inescapable truth.   Every one of us was, at a certain point in our life, eleven.

• You had an eleventh birthday.    What *THING* did you get on that birthday as a present ?

• In your eleventh year, you had a Christmas.   What *THING* did you get on THAT Christmas as a present ?

The number eleven is arbitrary, it could just as well be 24 or 38 or 52.  It matters not.
The point is you probably don’t remember that *THING*.  Because those things do not provide the value upon which you defined your joy.   The “thing” never imprinted a lasting impression because to your heart it held little value.   The only memories we carry over great distances are all imprinted upon our hearts.
But if I was to ask you “what was your favorite childhood memory“, you could easily recite a time, place, or event you participated in that made you feel wonderful.   The key word is *feel*.
Perhaps your memory is a silly moment of no particular consequence – and perhaps in reflection it only held value to you and you alone.    But within that moment is the exact sense that was so significant you imprinted it as a good time, a time of joy.
AND note, that value you cherish, is not connected to a “thing”.   More than likely it’s connected to a sense of feeling loved, cherished and ultimately happy.
That memory is the value, far beyond the “things” we don’t remember.
Heck, we probably can’t even remember the things from two years ago, let alone trying to remember decades.     The things are not what define value to us.  Feeling safe, feeling understood, feeling close – those are the connections to our joyful memory.
So don’t let the dark whisper define your value to a child, a spouse, a mom or dad, or cousin or Grandparent, based on the principle of something you must purchase from a store but perhaps are unable to do.
If you want to give them a gift, a REAL gift, a cherished and priceless gift they will hold tight and embed upon themselves and their hearts for a lifetime….

……  GIVE THEM YOU !

YOU are the most valuable gift in the entire universe.  YOU are priceless beyond all scope of human definition.    YOU.
If you want to give someone, anyone, the most precious gift this Christmas sit them down, or pull them aside and tell them about all of the wonderful things that you recognize within them.
Be specific – be bold and remove fear.   Praise and hold up their value;  tell them why they are important to you (and others);  tell them what it is about them that makes them special, unique and valuable.
Tell them about what they do that matters to you, and most importantly tell them why.
I guarantee you that next year, or eleven years from now, if someone asks them what they got for Christmas this year….  They will remember YOU.
With love.