Motherhood. Contrary to ridiculous claims otherwise, it starts with being a woman. Which starts with XX chromosomes and can never be changed.
It didn’t take God long at all in his creation process to get to the male, female, mother, and father part. I can see nothing confusing in his words. From Genesis, Chapter 1:
And he said: Let us make man to our image and likeness: and let him have dominion over the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the air, and the beasts, and the whole earth, and every creeping creature that moveth upon the earth. 27 And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them, saying: Increase and multiply, and fill the earth…
So, I am a woman, a wife, a mother, a grandmother. A daughter, daughter in law, sister, sister in law.
My pronouns are not she/her. I am a she. I am a her. I am his wife. I am Mom. I am a grandmother to five boys and three girls.
I was never a birthing person and I’ll probably smack you with my cast iron skillet if you call me one.
In dignity and love we women were created unique and with tremendous life bringing gifts by God the Father. You know, the Creator who identified himself, among many other things, as Father. Which gave meaning to what being a man, and a father, and a woman, and a mother, would all come to mean.
My identity comes from God Eternal. Truth. Unchanging.
Ladies, congratulations. Your were gifted from the moment of your creation with a share in God’s own life giving creative abilities. Celebrate who and what you are. Celebrate life, femininity, nurturing, love, and the ability to pair colors and patterns, carry two squirming kids under two years old, five grocery bags, a purse and diaper bag, and open the door without letting the dog in or the cat out.
Celebrate that you loved a man, also created in God’s image, enough to create that most precious and endangered of things, a family. It doesn’t matter whether your family is yours by blood or by love. I have eight grandchildren. Four are genetically related to me, but eight are mine.
Your family, your children, your grandchildren, and everyone else’s are under attack. Your motherhood is one of the biggest weapons against the evil coming against us. You have influence, respect, opportunity, and abilities. Use them for good in word and deed, in action and prayer. In faith, in hope, in love.
As a mother you learned early on, I hope, that love requires hard choices. It is not best for your crying baby to be given something just to shut him up. Your cranky toddler shouldn’t get to watch TV just because. Don’t buy your kid a toy every time you’re in a store. Teach even your little kids to work, and take care of themselves, according to age and ability.
And for goodness’ sake moms, a subject near to my heart, one I once wrote my best ever post on, don’t be overprotective of those kids, especially teens, and especially boys. Men and women are meant to do hard things. We have to be survivors, we have to endure hard times, no money, illness, loss of work, and political madness.
Failures and troubles of all kinds are going to come fast and hard at your kids. Your job is NOT to protect them to the best of your ability. It is to prepare them to survive those hard knocks and failures on their own.
Every single time you remove the burden from the shoulders of your sons and daughters and place it on your own, you lessen them. Every time you try to stop your husband from making the kids, again, especially the sons, do something you are afraid of and nervous about, you interfere with his duty and gift of fatherhood.
Boys especially need dads to show them how to be men. To my way of thinking, and evidenced by the crap going on in the world, we have a serious problem with manhood in this world. People can throw out all kinds of causes, from women’s lib gone wild to trans and gay advocates taking over the mindset of weak people, to lack of moral and religious teaching in the home. Lots of others, most valid to varying degrees.
But I submit to you that nothing is more damaging to kids, and especially to boys (cut me some slack here, I only had boys!) than a mother who undermines the strength, power, leadership, and resolve of the father of her children. Encourage him when he’s hard on them. Stand united against the whines.
I have one particular well loved grandson whose default mode right now is sing song whiney. Whenever he comes to visit and asks me for something, a treat, a special privilege, whatever, I never give him a yes until he asks with a strong whine free voice. I digress, but it’s a good example!
Make them do the hard things. Show them how, encourage, lead, push, shove, but don’t do it for them. Your job is to raise your kids to fly the coop on their own, as wise as youth can be, as strong and untested life can be at that first foray into the world. To do those things with hope, confidence, and the strength of doing things for themselves.
Never bail them out of failure. Cry your mama tears behind your bedroom door when they fail, but let them fail. And get back up. And fail.
I have come to believe that one of my most important jobs was letting go and not stopping my sons’ failures, just as much as celebrating their successes. It’s still sometimes hard to do that now that they are grown.
One of my sons recently made a comment about a boy’s failure at a certain undertaking. His observation was that the boy had done everything asked of him and nothing above that, which guaranteed his failure.
It was a very proud moment for my husband, and for me. That’s the kind of boy he was, and the kind of man he is, and the kind of father he is.
Each of my sons learned to do the hard things early on in life. One of them has three children, two with autism. He’s a wonderful and loving father to them, but he does not see their autism as an excuse for them to do less than every thing they are capable of, and then more.
Another other son refuses to abandon his step children in the face of barriers, blocks, and hardship after a divorce. Because he knows those kids need him more than ever, and he loves them. Lots of biological fathers would quit.
I am proud of my boys. They did not get those great strengths from a protected childhood. I could never have been that strong on my own. My husband taught me to let them fall, to let them hurt, to help but never do for them.
Today, as we offer you heartfelt good wishes on this Mother’s Day, I tell you, your job isn’t done. Be strong, be an example, and encourage the young parents in your own family to do the hard things. A lot of things, most things, that are wrong in this world started with bad parenting. They need to be fixed the same way.
Almost every day here at the Treehouse people ask what they can do to fix the problems in our country specifically, and the world generally.
My own answer is to be the best mother and grandmother you can be. Just like childhood requires perseverance in the face of struggle and failure, so too does motherhood. Be strong. Be tough. Don’t quit.
You’ll never get the thanks and recognition you deserve and even if you did, you know that’s not what you want. You want the best of life and love and hope and eternity for your kids and family. Fortunately, you have a mighty, mighty power over the outcome. And you will, until the day you die.
The world needs you to use it.
The best thing we can do, as parents, is to be do our best and to teach our kids to do the same.
Parenting is quite hard, there are many times when we know the easy way is the wrong way, and so we stick with the right way…. our only guidance is our own parents, so hopefully we had one ones. Hopefully we got the right set of values so our intuition is correct, because there is NO book to do this.
Being a father is hard… but, God, being a mother has to be excruciating, even with the epidural shot.
Women, moms, have my everlasting respect.
This year instead of gifts we gave my wife flowers, LOTS of flowers and some very nice chocolates… even my son who lives 1200 miles away sent flowers. My daughter who lives with us now (*) bought a great lot of really good food and we’re making dinners and breakfasts the whole weekend!
BTW, the only respect us parents need, or should desire, is the tacit acknowledgment from our children that we did well when THEY do to their kids as we did to them. We don’t do this for respect, we do it for LOVE.
Because we love our kids more than we love ourselves. And that’s a lot to say, because I love my wife A LOT. 😉
Happy Mother’s Day.
Tony
-no pronouns.
PS : Happy Tool Day is coming… AKA Father’s Day. ;-D
(*) Not an issue, she’s working quite hard, back on her feet, making money and saving a lot. Our house is big enough and we are happy she is with us. Our home will always be opened to our kids and family, not to make them lazy but to help them when they truly need us. We help them when they help themselves!
Lol- tool day. I actually get a new tool every Mother’s Day 😇
Hahaha!
In early years of marriage, first Mother’s Day gift was a heavy duty step stool…bought by hubs.
A man of practicality…
I’ve gotten and leaf blower, chainsaw, pole saw and a sander. 🤣 since we bought a home, I’m little miss fix it and I LOVE it.
Cheers
That’s great, Tiff – and glad you have a home!
Now in my seventies – gifts have gone by the wayside – but my favs are “hugs and I love you’s” from my adult kiddos.
I am a flaming heterosexual and love women.
I will be cooking for a family celebration of my mother’s awesomeness tomorrow.
Edit: I posted before I fully read your article, Menagerie. It is beautiful. Thank you.
My mother gone to her reward, But the men and children in my family will be cooking for our wives and daughters today. God Bless you all
Happy Mothers day Menagerie
Beautiful message! Thank you!
Grandma was a mother too 😂
Thank you!
Honor to all mothers, my own long gone.
Thank you, Dan. My Mom, too has been gone a very long time…nearly 50 yrs. But I still love her, still remember her smile, and that ‘look’ when I needed it. I know I will see her again. No one can ever replace a Mom.
“I was never a birthing person and I’ll probably smack you with my cast iron skillet if you call me one.” ROFLMAO… my sentiments exactly!
Exactly!!! LOL!
Reading that, it struck me …
It struck me that the people who came up with the phrase would scream bloody murder at ‘being kept barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen’. Yet their phrase is much more dehumanizing.
Personally, I was often barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and they were some of the happiest days of my life. Would do it all again in a heartbeat.
Yesss🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Happy Mother’s Day. My mom loved being a mom!!! She was disappointed that I never had children..not a choice.
During those 7 yrs. when I was being told I could not have children by those doctors, and the two that I did conceive in that time period never saw the light of day, I clung to this verse..
Gal. 4:27
For it is written, “Rejoice, O barren one who does not bear; break forth and cry aloud, you who are not in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than those of the one who has a husband.”
So I believe that God makes us fruitful in other ways when we are of those who do not bear actual children So, ‘P Cat’, Happy Mother’s Fruitful Day!!
… yes! My mother had seven and kept on saying: ”I wish I had ten!”
When I was young and married, before I had children, my husband and I had gone down into the valley/park. There we saw (and watched) a woman who had 12 children. I think I was actually sitting there with my jaw dropped as I watched this woman’s head pivot so rapidly as her 12 children were running around with glee as they played by the creek. LOL! I felt such admiration for that woman.
Of course, the same wretched ,foaming at the mouth “she-creatures”* who coined “birthing person” also coined the put down “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen
*(Take that, ye Wordsmithers of “birthing persons”)
“Today, as we offer you heartfelt good wishes on this Mother’s Day, I tell you, your job isn’t done.”
Such true words. For some reason, I had this ‘idea’ in my head that when my children became adults that my job was done. I have no idea where I got that idea, but it existed nevertheless. I also thought that once I retired, I was also done. Nothing could be farther from the Truth.
I had been barren the 1st 7 yrs. of my marriage and had been told by doctors that I couldn’t have children. Then, God intervened. Though I had to spend months bedridden, my 3 boys and one girl all made it. I love my children … truly love them and am so so very grateful to God for each and every one of them. When all the other Mothers were so excited about their children returning to school after the summer’s end, I cried.
For me, there is no greater blessing than having my babies. Can they be a royal pain in the a-s at times? Absolutely! More so as adults than when they were young. But I treasure every moment of being a Mom. Though one has gone ahead of me to be with the Lord, I know he’ll be there with his big smile to greet me when I cross over… along with the 4 others that never saw the light of day that I’ll be meeting for the 1st time.
My 33 yr. old daughter visited me today with 4 early Mother’s Day gifts. The one is a pillow on which she had written:
I’ll love you forever
I’ll like you for always
As long as I’m living
My mommy you’ll be
Love, Abby (heart)
I couldn’t hold back the tears.
I am so blessed and so honored to be a Mom.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mommies!
The saying is from this wonderful little book,
When my kids were little, I could not read it all the way through to them without crying or at least tearing up! It’s now one of the books I include with every baby shower gift that I give.
I still can’t get through that book without tearing up and my boys are all grown – (I bought it for my grandchildren.)
I can’t see the link to, or the picture of the book in my comment, so here’s the info: the title is “Love You Forever”, by Robert Munsch. It’s about a little boy getting into mischief at every stage of life, and his interaction with his mother when she ages. I cannot recommend it ENOUGH!
TY! I couldn’t view it either.
Now i know where my girl got that writing she had printed on the pillow she gave me. TY!! so much! I will be picking up a copy and after I read it, I’ll be giving it to her. Blessings!
For some reason, it doesn’t show any book?? Could be security on my end. What is the title?
“Love You Forever”, by Robert Munsch
TY!
Boomerang wishes, Jude!!
And I had assumed from your name that you were a male.
Your posts inspire and encourage!
Jude (Judith)…just an old woman :). My Mom’s fave ‘patron saint’ was St. Jude, the ‘saint of lost causes’. Though she was not a Catholic (but was in process of becoming one when she died at age 50), she greatly admired St. Jude. I’m missing her today, but I will be seeing her soon.
I decided to look up ‘Jude’ and I discovered that he was also considered the Saint of the ‘hopeless & despaired’. In addition, it just so happens that his ‘Feast Day’ is my birth-day. I’m so glad you posted your comment. It has caused me to learn some things that I previously did not understand, specifically about my Mom. Happy Mother’s Day, Della!
So sweet, Jude!
(((HUGS)))
You know, in some ways, it’s harder to be a dad.
Moms are allowed to love unconditionally.
We dads are not allowed. We have to be the meanies, even when in our hearts we love them unconditionally too.
Of course, the birthing part was a LOT easier for us. 😉
…
Anyhow… my wife did get a gift after all for Mother’s Day. The fridge in our garage started making noises, indicating that something is not right and it will likely be pricey (compressor). So, we decided to just buy a new one from Costco. The last thing we want is for the freezer to die in the middle of summer.
Happy Mommie’s Day. 😉
What a great post! Thanks.
My mother died last year and just missed making it to 100! What a wonderful human being! She nurtured numerous “sons and daughters” who were not her biological children. The outpouring of heartfelt anecdotes and grief —from friends and relatives across the country —was amazing.
Until her passing, I never realized the impact one small woman could have on so many people.
💕I miss you, Mom! (I am currently a rather old orphan.)
💕I have a wonderful daughter! Thank you for the love and flowers, sweetheart.
💕Blessings to my son. I miss you, so much! You left us so early!
💕Tell G’ma, ‘hello’ — hope to see you both in
Heaven!🙏
💕Happy Mother’s Day!!!🙏
Sounds like you’re a Bereaved Mom like myself. Just because they’ve ‘gone ahead’, they never cease to be our babies and yes, we shall see them again! Blessings, Lorrie. Happy Mamma’s Day!
👍💕
This! Again and again.
Wiser words were never written. Thank you for that powerful, heartfelt essay.
Honor thy Mother today as always. 🙏💖
I love the ‘Home Free’ group. I’ve listened to many of their songs…their harmony is incredible. TY! for posting.
Thank you for this, Menagerie! So beautiful, so true.
I got the best gift ever from my daughter yesterday, an amazing card on the outside and an amazing letter on the inside. The outside of the card said: “Mom, thank you for raising me to be a strong, independent woman. (who still needs her mom).”
She wrote a beautiful letter to me inside. I will only share this part:
“Since becoming a parent, I’ve become more aware each day of what a tricky balancing act it can be — loving and supporting your child but also stepping back and letting them try, fail, and do more for themselves.”
So, thank you, Menagerie, for your wise and motherly words for all of us Moms (and Dads) out here to let your children become the person they are meant to be by supporting them by letting them fail.
They do pick themselves up and grow — just like we continue to do as we adults fails and do the same.
Happy Mother’s Day to you and all the Moms here at the Treehouse!
Happy Mother’s day Menagerie!
I Miss my Mom. She taught me so many things but letting me fall. When I look back, it is my Mother that made me strong, independent and rebellious; at times. She was tough! However, I could never of asked for a different Mother. I was the sixth child of seven total and the 4th daughter. She never failed to tell me how beautiful and smart I was, even when I made not so great choices. I love her and wish she was still here with us❤
Nice!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Ladies!
Happy Mothers day Menagerie and to all the moms in the Tree!
Great post. Great advice !
Menagerie, if Sundance provides the roots for a New Tree Of Liberty, you provide the food and water to keep that Tree alive.
May God continue to Bless you!
❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
-🎯
Now that more moms are wielding cast iron skillets again, maybe we can keep the peace.
One thing no one should ignore or allow their kids to fail at is math. Too many kids are sucking at it and that’s not good.
Agreed. I’m a math nerd, and there is no excuse for people choosing to be ignorant when it comes to math, logic, and be analytical. We can all do it, people just make excuses not to because they are mentally lazy. If you don’t make sure your kids have a basic competence (at least) in math, you have crippled them.
Parents: If you are not proficient in math, please see that your children get good math tutors. The cost will be well worth it.
Teach them the multiplication tables 16 x 16. Their minds are like sponges and its only 256 numbers.
Later on they can do hexadecimal very easily.
Remember that my Mom using flash cards homemade. Had me do them before going to school, morning.
When i came home for lunch, before i left for school.
When i came home for school and before I went to sleep.
That was drilled into me.
This is wonderful, thank you. We men love our women.
I love this post so much Menagerie. Your wisdom from experience and guidance provided is just what I needed this Mother’s Day.
Our job is far from easy these days with so many evil influences(er’s) attempting to co-opt our children’s souls. It reassures me knowing there are mothers and grandmothers like you who have not flinched or wavered in their roles.
To you and all mothers – Happy Mothers Day!
I flinched and wavered lots of times, but I got back up. Usually it required a hand from my husband.
Thank you!
I gave birth to our first in 2021, the second at the end of 2022. In that time, the hospital changed the verbiage in ALL of our take-home information. No longer were the words mother and father present in anything they gave us. I can’t convey how dehumanizing it is to get a pamphlet on breastfeeding where they don’t use the word mother. It was shocking.
(And before anybody jumps on me about it, our local hospital is wonderful in every other way, and I cannot do a home birth safely.)
Ironically, the concept of motherhood is under attack largely by people who either don’t have children themselves or were failed by their own mothers. There are realities in life, to life, and no amount of shrieking will undo that.
I feel extremely lucky to be a mom, even on the worst days. And I feel like if I can give our babies a strong sense of what is and what is not, including a solid faith in god, they’re going to be okay. No matter how insane things get.
Congrats on your two. We (ish) babies. You sounds like a great mom.
Thank you, Menagerie
Such powerful, sensible, no-nonsense words of truth and love! Wish I had met you when I was a young mom, but it’s never too late to make corrections as needed.
Happy Mother’s Day, Menagerie and to all the mothers reading here.
A mothers love is like a circle – it knows NO beginning nor end. My mom has been gone since 2014 and my daughter Fallon has been gone since 2004. Blessed to have been a daughter and had the most incredible of mothers and blessed to have been a mom who had the most amazing of daughters. To not have known either would for sure have been the bigger loss! Today I count my blessings and will keep my losses at bay! Happy Mother’s day to you all and may you all find joy in this moment. XXOO Lizanne
Beautiful reminders Menagerie. Thank you for sharing.
Happy Mothers Day to all the ladies of CTH.
What a dingy dark place the world would be without Moms, thank you!
Wonderful! Thank you so much. I have 3 boys, 1 of them still a teenager. I needed to hear this. Happy Mother’s Day!
Beautifully said. 🥰
Thank you, Menagerie, for another heartfelt essay!
I’m partially raising my grandchild as my daughter works, and even more than being a mother it’s a joyous experience.
I’m blessed to give my grandchild the love that I gave my daughter, but even more. As a retiree with time, I can enjoy helping raise this child that I didn’t have the luxury of time to enjoy as a parent. The side benefit is that it has deepened an already great and close relationship with my daughter and son-in-law.
My heart is filled with love for those parents who do the hard work of raising successful, thoughtful, loving people.
Blessings from God!
My Robin was everything a mother could and should be. Raised six children. Our four and two grandchildren. Robin was a military spouse. Rob earned her stripes many times over. The kids were her everything the reason for living, Rob was the best spouse and mother there ever was. Rob passed on the eve of Mother’s day, Rob passed yesterday from a stroke, a heart attack and inoperable stage four cancer. She had previously survived and fully recovered from a major stroke, a terrible battle with COVID what would of killed most. Her kidneys failed with the COVID and that lefter her needing dialysis three times a week. She survived to be with the children. Robin was do to be discharged last Monday she was so looking forward to spending mother’s day with our children. Well my partner, my spouse the love of my/our life, the best mom ever Passed yesterday day. Robin was surrounded by the childen and grand children. Our oldest Daughter held her mama to the time of passing. Robin was in a coma until moments before leaving us. Robin awoken from the coma eyes wide open with tears knowing the kids are here with me Our daughter let mom know it’s ok please rest go to your new home where you won’t hurt or worry any more. It’s all right we love you so much please rest. Our grandson told her I love you mama it’s ok. We have raised him since five months old, he is sixteen now. I believe when he said I love you mama she was finally able to rest. She lived and dedicated her live for and to the children. Robin is mother’s day. I will do as promised, I will always protect, love and guide the kids I promise.
Thank you for the 46 years you allowed me to share with you. Rob I love you and always will forever.
Forever
God bless
Mark
Yes, forever, please —
God bless, you, Mark!
💕🙏💕
How incredibly blessed you are to have experienced so much love and joy.
My heart breaks for you, there is no easy way to say good bye.
Robin was a very strong woman to have survived so much, as are you to know what a blessing you were given to have been her life partner.
May God surround you with His love and comfort.
Carrying you in prayer and cradling you in love as you navigate this new path and carry on Robbins honor. There are no words just love being sent your way ❤️💙😇❤️
May God bless you and your precious Robin until you meet again…
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
Prayers for you and family.
🙏
My deepest sympathy for your great loss, Mark.
May God comfort you and your family as only He can.
Shalom.
You’re all in my prayers Mark. Praise the Lord for the 46 years you had together. God Bless.
This post is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
May the joys of family be with all mothers today.
I have loved every moment of being a mom (1 boy/2 girls), all adults now, two with children of their own.
My favorite moment in their lives is when they get in their Mid-twenties, and they realize their parents are not just their parents, but have feelings, perhaps some sound advice. And when they had children of their own, a lightbulb lit up that told them their parents were right.
Happy Mother’s Day
Thank you Menagerie! Happy Mother’s Day!
This brought back an old memory…once when I was little, the cousins were playing at grandma’s. We decided to climb an old tree. Once up in this old tree it was time to get down. Everyone got out of the tree but me. I was afraid of falling. I asked for my dad to come get me. He got out there and said ‘why did you get yourself up there with no idea how to get yourself down?’.
I cried, a lot, no help. He told me he would stay until I got down. I finally made it down by myself and ran to complain to Mom and Grandma. They stuck up for Dad and told me to remember to never get yourself into something if you don’t know how you are going get yourself out. Sometimes there won’t be anyone there to make sure you make it.
Give your kids wings and show them how to use them.
Yup. My mom always said give your children, their Faith, roots, and wings!
Happy Mothers Day Menagerie.
You are such a blessing. God bless you today and always.
Happy Mother’s day Sundance and thank you for all of your hard work.
Menagerie: This is a wonderful article! Thank you. I watch what is currently being forced on our children in the public forums and it disturbs me greatly. However, I take a great deal of hope in believing that at the end of the day a “mother’s love” will provide some desperately needed defense shield to our children during these ongoing looney attacks on our babies and young ones.
Happy Mother’s Day, to all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing ladies who are moms. You are the foundation of every family. Much love and respect to ya’ll.
“I’ll probably smack you with my cast iron skillet” ~ A Mother will scrub that cast iron skillet, like it was a small boy needing a bath. … She’ll ignore the advice of professional chefs, that say, ‘We chefs just wipe the skillets clean.’
Great words, Menagerie! I have two sons who have four children, 2 & 2, and two children, 1 & 1. The numbers stand for BOYS and GIRLS, not some other hodgepodge of descriptors for the kids, and they are being raised as BOYS and GIRLS. The kids are each strong and weak in their own ways who succeed and fail every day. They all know there is a backstop if they get stuck along the way, but they each get encouraged every day to find their own ways. We, as grandparents, and our sons and daughters-in-law aren’t perfect, but those kids know we all love them, and we strive each day to be an example for them. None of us would be here on this big, blue marble without a Mother. And I capitalize Mother, even though my word processor wants to spell it in lower case, because of that FACT, as they are the origin of our being.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Terrific post! Thank you!😄
Amen, Sister.
Amen!
My own mother would have died protecting me and now my wife of 47 year would die protecting our children and grandchildren.
Any woman who would allow their kids to placed into the hands of the state for ‘gender reassignment’ is not a real woman… or even human.
Happy mother’s day to all the great women out there who are the real guardians of the human race.
Blessings to all the mom’s and grandmas of prodigals. May their prayers to the Holy Spirit be answered.
When I see “Menagerie” as a poster, I read every word and every comment. Thank you for your wisdom and common sense.
I suspicion we are about the same age because your ideals and mine are very similar. The picture at the end reminds me of my wife and our daughter’s last son walking in our drive. He would say “let me talk you for a walk Grammy and I’ll hold your finger so you won’t fall”. Precious memories, how they linger, how they ever flood my soul…..
Thank you M,
I am an overprotective Grandad.
Your post is terrific and greatly appreciated.
Today happens to be one of our grandsons birthdays,later today we will be attending his home for a dual celebration.
None of it would be possible if not for God, and mothers.
He will be cherished today, along with his mum and grandma.
Cheers, and thanks again.
To my single mother who raised two successful boys starting in the 70’s as a nurse who often worked nights and couldn’t afford a babysitter… Salute to a warrior! A bar of soap to the mouth for language and a wooden spoon to the ass taught some very deep lessons of success; you only had to use them once.
We had to make our own meals and wash our clothes(and shovel the driveway) at very young ages. It was wonderful.
To you wonderful mothers!
A lesson for me was don’t laugh if the wooden spoon breaks. You won’t like what she grabs as a replacement.
Thank you for that beautiful post, Menagerie! I do so admire your writing skills!
I am a Mother of one son and I have 2 granddaughters and 1 grandson. Just because someone else is confused or refuses to believe in how God created them, does not mean that I must go along with their confusion, and so I refuse to bend, bow or humor their mental illness.
God Bless you and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
cross posted at https://freedomaustralia.freeforums.net/thread/3410/reflections-on-motherhood
Retired Magistrate here: I was an 18 year old unwed mother back in the 60’s. During that time, where we lived, unwed mother’s were considered “trash” so my parents put me in a home for unwed mothers run by the Quakers and told the neighbors I was away at art school in New York.
The Quakers thought that unwed mothers had committed the unpardonable sin so we had to be punished by hard physical labor; scrubbing floors on our hands and knees and in addition, in my case, operating a mangler (used to iron sheets). Every month we went to a clinic in downtown Columbus where we had to go through a side door so the married mothers wouldn’t be near us. We were not treated well at all. Several weeks before I was due to give birth, I was down on my hands and knees scrubbing, when my water broke so off to the hospital. My mother met me there. I was not given anything for pain and as the baby’s head was crowing my mother started screaming for help. I remember the orderlies laughing that “these girls” usually give birth early.
I was still groggy when I signed away my baby. There was no support system; my father had just had a heart attack and I could not go home with a baby since I was supposed to be away at art school.
My baby had a birth defect so she had to have surgery. We had to go to Court and the prosecuting attorney was yelling at me and my father, who was recovering from a heart attack, that is was people like us who were a drain on the system. My father was a traffic manager and I was working by then as a legal secretary. The judge finally shut the prosecutor up and I paid child support for my own baby until she was adopted by her father. I know, sounds screwy, but that is the way is was back then.
When my child was 10 her father called me and wanted to know if I wanted to babysit for her. Of course I said yes. That went on for while, she just thought I was her father’s friend. My child got to meet my mother, who was dying of liver cancer at the time. My child didn’t know that I was her mother until her father hauled her off to California and then he told her. Her father, who did not give her a good childhood, died at 40 of a massive heart attack.
Over the years we have tried to connect; however, she never forgave me for giving her up for adoption.
Last July, I thought I would try one more time. I am in my 70’s with health problems, and didn’t know how many more chances I would have to have some sort of relationship with my daughter, who is now 55. I wrote her a short letter, she responded. After many tears, telephone calls and e mails, she now understands and heard the rest of the story. I have two grandchildren; a granddaughter who is 24 and a grandson who is 13. My daughter put herself through college, is married, has a wonderful husband and has been successful.
So, this is the first year I received a Mother’s day present and Mother’s Day card. She calls me Mom now. We don’t live close; I can’t travel very far and she is busy with her 13 year old. But that is OK. I am thrilled with what we have.
So, GOD really does work all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose. However, HE works in HIS time and not in ours.
Happy Mother’s day Moms.
Marcia, thank you for sharing the story of your daughter and your happy ending.
The love a mom has for her children just endures, no matter what happens.
Happy Mother’s Day Marcia!
Glory be to God!
Marcia,
Always love your posts.
Thank you for sharing your story.. you are a beautiful soul and I needed to read your story today. It is a life lesson. God IS in it all. He never gives up nor should we.
May He bless you and yours over and over again! ❤️
I am so very,very happy for you:-)
God bless.
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
God bless you Marcia happy Mother’s Day to you. God is good!
Marcia thank you so much for sharing this story ! I am crying now, and would love to put my arms around you. It took a lot to share that, and I am sure you helped a lot of people, not just me. I was adopted in a ‘gray market’ adoption in 1959. That’s a nice term for black market. There were various reasons my genetic mother did it that way – one was for the large check she received. I understand A LOT more about what she was facing now. You are the first person to describe what it was really like for unwed mothers, and it explains a lot. I notice you are a retired magistrate. I am sure that you took that experience and turned into justice tempered with mercy and kindness for many, many people over the years. God Bless you all !
Beautiful story…thank you for sharing….I am greatly moved.
Thank you Lord, for opening Marcia’s heart and her daughters heart. Thank you for helping them come to an understanding about life’s hard decisions. Thank you for giving them the precious gift of a familial relationship. May Marcia’s daughter’s love and understanding deepen with every passing day.
What a wonderful Mothers Day message. Thank you, Marcia
Marcia,
I’m so sorry that you had to go through all this.
I was so happy to read that your daughter and Grandchildren are in your life now.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Happy Mother’s Day Marcia!
In tears… Thank you for sharing a large part of your heart today. Your posts are always thoughtful and spot on and I one day hope to meet you and many of the other Treepers whose stories have warmed my heart, made me cry and most importantly made me realize that we are a community that’s way more than politics – big hug today and know you are being thought of today with great love!
Amazing story! Thanks for sharing it. I hope your health improves and you and your daughter celebrate many more mothers days!
❤️🙏
I am happy for you and remember girls being shunned, not the father, the mothers.
My best friend went there this, we were 16. I’ll never forget her pain. I never said anything, nor Thought
anything thing bad of her, in fact she lived with my mom and me for awhile while pregnant . I was pained to see her go through this but was emotionally stunted myself and I know I offered her little in reality
We lost track of each other , I have tried to find her and hope and pray they found each other
Your right though, it was a horrid world for unwed mothers and their children
It’s almost impossible to explain it to people.
Kind of like the HS counselors recommendation to me to
Get married and drink 2 martinis a day like his wife
I told him if I was married to him I would be drink everyday
Surprised at the Quakers, they put themselves out there as so saintly
Really, what terrible people.
Watch out for overly religious people. That includes “born again” Christians, as in the likes of those in California. I don’t want to overly generalize, but with few exceptions, some of the phoniest hypocrites I have ever met.
“I’ll sin because I am forgiven” they think, and for people like me that don’t toe their line, I am going to Hell.
Right.
Too many words… and assorted-reasons tears.
Life is full of so many gifts.
-Life
The gift that keeps in giving. 💖
-Happy Mother’s Day, Marcia❣️
Happy Mother’s Day, Marcia and to all Moms at the Treehouse!
Sounds like you survived a Magdalene Laundries kind of experience.
Congratulations on reuniting with your daughter.
Marcia, that was heart wrenching to read, I cannot imagine having to write it, and worse……live it.
I am glad for you, and your daughter, that there was a happy ending.
Happy Mother’s Day Marcia!
So touching, Marcia, and thank you for sharing.
All of us are flawed people living in a broken world, yet God brings beauty from ashes!
Praise be to the Lord…
Very few stories here leave me in tears … I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!
Blessings abound.
In some ways, we have advanced in society. In others, we have regressed. But it angers me no end that people were vilified because they had sex and had a baby. Women should have been protected, loved, and supported–but no, they were sent away. So “shameful” that a woman is creating a wonderful baby. That attitude in many ways has died with the people that believed it. Oh yes, you are carrying a baby…go scrub some floors you second class piece of trash! I mean, certainly that is what God would want…./s
Throughout history, how DARE people assume what God wants, beyond what is clearly evident. What is not clearly evident is that he would smile over abusing women carrying a baby. See, stuff like THAT is what turns people away from religion. God is faith, not religion. How many women, and men, and children, have suffered by people who hide their evil behind religion?
Retired Magistrate here: Because of my experience with the Quakers, I thought GOD hated me because of what I had done. Then I met my current husband of 34 years; he is the one that told me that GOD loved me. It took me a while after that to really believe that HE did and does and that JESUS CHRIST died for my sin and that HE forgave me. As a result for 19 years I have been a follower of CHRIST.
I give to Pregnancy Decision health centers where girls who are pregnant and given the support that they need. Thankfully society has changed and unwed mothers are no longer looked down.
There is an excellent book called The Girls Who Went Away which tells the story of girls such as myself who were sent away. I got half way through the book and could not read anymore it brought back so many bad memories. My experience was so bad that I never had any more children.
I am blessed to have a husband who knows my history, loves me and is thrilled that I re connected with my daughter. So now we are grandma and grandpa.
Marcia,
I am so sorry for everything you went through.
You are a “Retired Magistrate” which means you went on into the legal profession and I am betting that your experiences made you a lover of justice and righteousness – something that was so robbed from you in your youth. I imagine you took all of that hardness and applied it to your cases and probably had more understanding than anyone could realize. I bet you were a really good judge.
I am so very sorry. Your journey was as torturous as Joseph’s. Joseph went on to forgive – to lead – to administer justly – and to care for everyone as second in command in Pharoah’s court. I hope you went on to practice the same and it is a blessing to hear that you found a good, good husband who loves you and helped you deal with such loss… and could help you bloom into such sincere faith in Christ and knowledge of His Great Love for you. You know, it is God Who gives us babies… no matter the circumstances.
Holidays like this are not always “a gift” for everyone. Oftentimes, they are horrible memories of extreme struggle, pain, and loss. Reminders of what we don’t have. The “unwed mothers are no longer looked down” at – that unfortunately is a fallacy. Just listen to powerful Christian leadership preach on and on about the disadvantaged of broken homes. There is no glamour in single parenting… absolutely none.
There are extreme differences in single parents who make a full-time job out of having babies with their fake nails, fake eyelashes, and hair extensions… to stay on the public dole… and those who sacrifice everything with $6 Super Cuts haircuts maybe 4 times a year, hand-me-down clothes, staying at dead-end abusive jobs just so we can remain available and stable for our children… struggling so hard to the point of walking around like an over-poked bruise. Forgetting totally what it means to be valuable and respected. Sometimes you’re wounded so deeply and profoundly… one almost loses their faith due to the anger from harm inflicted that one simply can’t release. Harm to your own person and worse yet, to your own children, whom should be protected and loved at all costs.
I cling to someday The Lord making things right for us all. Filling our cups. All Truths being known.
The Lord will restore the years the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25
I pray so much for time with you and your daughter. Healing. A resolve. Understanding. I pray those voices that still speak to you and prevent you from finishing reading that book – be stilled – and thrown back into the pits of hell where they belong. In Jesus’s Holy, Perfect, and Saving Name. AMEN
Oh Woo, I’m learning – slowly – to have tissues nearby before reading your posts.
This one is spot on.
I do understand your sentiments, as single parenting is no stranger in our family;
However, I’ve chosen to only believe what God’s Word says. (below)
Anyone’s approval – including Christian leaders – is of no concern of mine. None.
Only God’s approval of me matters.
May His Words encourage you as He leads you by His nail-scarred hand.
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man?
If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galations 1:10
Hello Marcia and all — crying again reading this. I just have to share a story to let you know that your love reaches out in many ways. Years ago when I was a new airline pilot, I became good friends by telephone with the kind, patient, thoughtful lady who was a clerk at the pilot’s union office. She went out of her way to befriend me and tell me lots of things I would never have known, which were quite helpful. I was surprised at her generosity and caring.
About 30 years later I saw a column about a female airline pilot who was adopted, did the DNA thing and tracked down her mother who turned out to be the same lady who worked as a clerk int he pilot’s union. Her mother had died shortly before she made the connection, so she was putting her story together through reverse engineering and discovered many other pilots in her family.
I was able to reach out to her and tell her about her mother’s kindness and beauty through action and we became friends as people in aviation do, scattered around the world.
After reading your posts I wonder how many other exceptionally sensitive and giving women in our world who go the extra mile for others are living with that same secret pain ? From now on I will be looking with a greater sensitivity.
Of all the Mother’s Day stories and messages, I believe this one shall not be forgotten.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. Ps. 13:12
For all the Mom’s whose desire has yet to arrive, my your tree of life spring forth branches and fruit to bless you and yours.
Thank you Marcia.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve been blessed in so many ways and Our God really does have His own timeline. I pray so many times “whatever is your will Lord, help me to be more trusting.” I’ve received His mercy – undeservedly so.
I am so happy you have reunited with your daughter. We have both adopted and biological children. My husband and I pray for our children’s first mothers all the time. I pray that one day they too will reunite.