OMG Thousands of Hours Investigating – CNN Now Claims Russian Controlled Pokemon-Go Collapsed Clinton Candidacy…

Almost a full year has been spent creating vast Russian conspiracy narratives to sell Russia as the cause of Hillary Clinton’s failed campaign for the presidency.  Thousand of hours and tens-of-millions of dollars have been spent trying to prove the vast planetary Russian conspiracy theory.

Today CNN drops their investigative bombshell:  Pokémon Go did it !!

(Link To Story)

Yes, that’s right… Apparently Comrade Pikachu and Comrade Charizard formed a brigade of militant Russian Pokémon characters and appointed General Jigglypuff to formulate the anti-Clinton campaign strategy.

Here’s how it started.  WATCH:

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According to CNN’s exhaustive investigation: Mewtwo and Zaptos led an advanced reconnaissance team near Ferguson, Baltimore and New York while reporting back to Blastoise who was hiding in the mid-west and spearheading the communications effort.

The strategy was brilliant.

All Articuno needed to do was talk to the old man in Veridian City and choose the option of “No” when he was asked if he needed a tutorial on how to catch Pokemon.  As soon as that was accomplished, he flew to Cinnabar island, and, unknown to the Clinton campaign, if they surfed along the right side of the island, right where the water touches the land, the sixth item in the election inventory was duplicated a bunch of times.

This approach allowed Moltres to gain an invisible shield where John Podesta would no longer be able to track him.  Once cloaked General Jigglypuff gave the order to create virtually unlimited amounts of Masterballs or Gold Nuggets.  Whatever else you might think of the plan this strategy was brilliant.

Hillary Clinton never saw it coming.   Many young players at the time didn’t get it, but there were only two fighting Pokemon other than Machop in the plan. Hitmonlee, always a phenomenal kickboxing Pokemon, and Hitmonchan simply by using his fists, (obviously protected by large red boxing gloves), were able to shift the entire electoral map by keeping Brian Fallon from seeing Wisconsin.

Once they had everyone distracted, via the baby form, Tyrogue, everything else simply fell into place.

Michigan fell once Mewtwo found the puzzles and, well, after going through a few floors of the dungeon, he simply used powerful psychic attacks on Tim Kaine and the rest is history.  This made Trump’s entry into Pennsylvania start around level 70 and Podesta was unable to close the gap because by that time he didn’t save any Masterballs.

The annals of 2016 electoral history will always be remembered for the incredible efforts of Lugia, Ho-Oh, Celebi, The Legendary Wolves, Meowth, Dragonite, Bulbasaur and the fossil Pokemon.   Though Ash will likely argue for a long time they should not gain as much public praise as Comrade Pikachu and Comrade Charizard.

Damn those Russians are brilliant.

Now, you probably got this far, had a few snickers, and likely thought I’m joking right?

Right?

Be honest?

Well, if you were smiling while reading… I warn you you might break out into epic fits of uncontrolled laughter….

Because, I’m so not kidding, WATCH:

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This entry was posted in Clinton(s), Conspiracy ?, Desperately Seeking Hillary, Donald Trump, Election 2016, Heros, History, media bias, President Trump, propaganda, Russia, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

427 Responses to OMG Thousands of Hours Investigating – CNN Now Claims Russian Controlled Pokemon-Go Collapsed Clinton Candidacy…

  1. Well this explains a lot. One of my kids had a plastic Picachu.It would yell out it’s name when turned on. Somehow it got stuck, (Russians!). It kept yelling out it’s name over and over and over, we couldn’t shut it off. Finally I threw it out the door into the snow. Next morning we come out to go to school and I hear a scraggly screaming, Picachu Picachu, I look down and see the snow bank glowing on and off and dan dan da!!!! (Cue the Psycho shower scene music), there it lay….Picachu still yelling its name taunting us mocking us even from the snow bank.
    We screamed and ran to the car!! We have never been the same. I noticed it was made in China but with Russian parts!! Yes my friends the Russians got to this innocent American family on a cold winter morning in the year 2015…….True story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. doug says:

    So it was Team Rocket that hacked the DNC servers?

    Like

  3. daughnworks247 says:

    I listened to the CNN intrview twice and still do not understand.
    So, the Russians claimed to be BLM supporters, and gave away Amazon cards if you named your character after Eric Gardener, etc.
    …. and then, through very sophisticated means, organized rallies in favor of BLM and notified news reporters…..
    and how does this get Trump elected?
    I’m lost.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Howie says:

    So Muelley is now investigating Trump collusion with Pokemon to beat the Hag.. Insanity.

    Like

  5. stinkfoot63 says:

    If ever there was a reflection of the contempt with which we are regarded this is it… clearly they expect that we will somehow believe this BS… that we’re not supposed to be able to comprehend the cartoonish level their desperation has reached.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Brett says:

    I watched the CNN video, and it was absurd. These people are dead serious. Our country was almost run into the ground by these…I do not even know what to call them.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. aliashubbatch says:

    I certainly didn’t think Sundance was so well versed in Pokémon.
    Wow.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Christina says:

    pokemon-go-russian-spy.jpg

    Like

  9. Angela Hale says:

    Even if this were true, so what? How is this “meddling in the election”? If it was meddling, who does it help? Not Trump. Getting the black community riled up only helps the Democrats who are losing their “sure-fire” base little by little.
    Divisive, anti-American sentiment can only help the divisive anti-American party.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sayit2016 says:

    You guys… the guy on the CNN interview looks really scared, like he is one phone call away from asking the FBI if he can go into Witness Protection Program for finally cracking the code on the Pokemon election hacking.

    Someone PLEASE give me a map- what planet am I ON?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Christina says:

    Pikachu is russian spy!

    Like

  12. rashamon says:

    First, I had almost, almost, almost forgotten THAT VOICE coming out of the Hillarity’s mouth. Someone up there did us a YUGE favor as we all would have been certifiably nuts if she had been elected and able to lecture us at will from the WH podium.

    Second, I saw retired CBS reporter Bob Schieffer interviewed by Charlie Rose on PBS where he decried the sad state and financial demise of the long-established media, blaming such on the rise of the Internet with its bevy of untamed web sites and social media disrupting the so-honest flow of “real news” by “professional” journalists.

    Ha! Bob, I have news for you. The media hasn’t been honest nor real since the invention of the Guttenberg and the take over by the elite “professional” media corporations who have been publishing propaganda for their favored topics ever since. Of course, his references to the finest journalism included the NYT, WaPo and CBS which represent only three of those fine institutions that have gotten us into endless wars that only make fortunes for the banksters who own the media.

    What a fool are thee and your pals. Ya finally got caught.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: CNN Finds New Way To Blame The Russians – IOTW Report

  14. Prettyplease says:

    The cheese has finally slid off the cracker.

    Like

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