COVID Madness – Montgomery County, Maryland, Provides Nonsensical Rules for Opening…

On a regular basis, long before the Wuhan virus surfaced, Maryland was always one of the most leftist and regulatory states in the nation.  So it doesn’t come as a big surprise to see officials in Montgomery County, Maryland, present some of the most nonsensical rules to reopen their economy.  [Quite Remarkable Video Announcement below]

Pictured: Montgomery County Residents Listen to County Official Marc Elrich

After an extensive study and review by local scientists and public officials, you can go to a barber shop and/or beauty salon and get your “hair styled”, as long as the ‘styling’ doesn’t involve the actual cutting of the hair.   Apparently, in phase-1 the COVID virus can identify when scissors are present and the virus will attack with increased severity.

You can go to a church, as long as the going to church doesn’t involve the actual going into a building that would be identified as a church.  Worship services can only be provided outdoors, because the virus lurks in the building…… unless the building contains vegetables and is called a supermarket, and then the virus cannot enter the premises.

According to the local scientists who have analyzed the risks, you can now wash your car; however, it is only safe to wash the outside of the car.  If you attempt to clean the inside of your vehicle the virus will hunt you.  Interior car cleaning is forbidden.  No actual word on how you get your vehicle to a car wash without being inside it… but minor details are still a work in progress and will likely be addressed in phase-2.

You are now permitted to open retail businesses, but you cannot sell things from inside retail businesses.  Apparently the Maryland officials have discovered the virus is building and content specific. Therefore retail sales can safely happen at the curbside of the building; but patrons are forbidden from entering the establishment.

Purchasing a new pair of pants becomes less dangerous when the pants are not in a building.  Unless, duh, the building sells vegetables and pants, and then the virus doesn’t attack the pant purchaser because they are protected by the surrounding vegetables.

You are allowed to open and attend daycare and summer camps, as long as the camps remain outside.  During phase-1 of the opening, if a spring and/or summer storm starts, it is less dangerous to run around dodging lightning strikes outside – than if you were to enter a building or cabin where the virus is waiting to attack.

Given the hair salon scissor restrictions, in combination with rules for summer camps, running with construction scissors outside while dodging lightning is another undefined detail.  However, if you happen to be picking vegetables, you are immune from being attacked.  Vegetable picking inside or outside with scissors is therefore allowed.

Restaurants are allowed to open, but again all actual eating of food must take place outdoors.  To accommodate this safe dining approach, restaurants are encouraged to put all their tables in the street.

The Montgomery County dept. of transportation is organizing road closures to assist with the roadway dining.  So you might not be able to drive to where the restaurants are, but the outdoor dining experience should justify hiking to your table for the asphalt ambience.

Now, right about this point, if you are a person of reasonable constitution, you’re probably thinking this is so ridiculous it cannot really be what the Montgomery County plan is; all I can say is please watch the two short videos below.

Montgomery County executive Mark Elrich was visibly frustrated and perplexed that local citizens did not appreciate the wisdom of the panel of COVID compliance scientists that put together the reopening plan.  His announcement was a little less than well received.



The local news outlet did their best to help make sense of the madness; but judging by the looks on their faces, well…. I digress.



This entry was posted in Big Stupid Government, Coronavirus, Cultural Marxism, media bias, Occupy Type Moonbats, Professional Idiots, Typical Prog Behavior, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

344 Responses to COVID Madness – Montgomery County, Maryland, Provides Nonsensical Rules for Opening…

  1. Red Mosquito says:

    Here is AZ it is almost business as usual and guess what? No increase in deaths or infection. This has all been the biggest over-hyped hoax. I’m not suggesting the virus isn’t real but I think we all know it is not nearly close to as bad as it has been portrayed. Sadly we will never know the true death numbers from this virus. Every time I see death numbers posted I just assume that it is at the very least half of what it says.

    Also, I guess the virus cannot penetrate people who loot and burn buildings. Amazing how the media and lib politicians haven’t even mentioned anything about the safety of the rioters in large groups.

    Liked by 6 people

  2. Lulu says:

    MOCO is a leftist cess pool. It’s been years (decades) since I’ve encountered anyone from there that isn’t a leftist scumbag and a leach on the federal government.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TonyE says:


      That’s funny, “moco” means “snot” in Castilian.

      I guess you got some really snotty politicians in SNOT county.

      The MOCO LOCOs.

      Liked by 2 people

      • GB Bari says:

        I guess you got some really snotty politicians in SNOT county.

        That would be correct. In fact, they’re all over MOCO, Prince Georges CO, Baltimore City and plenty of other counties. But we also have some really decent pols in several of the more Republican counties.

        Interestingly, one of the best all-around constituent-responsive politicians was a very leftwing Democrat City Councilwoman, later a U.S. House Rep., and finally aU.S. Senator – Barbara Mikulski (aka “The Mouth that Roared”). She was in various offices for 46 years from 1971 to 2017.

        It did not matter if you were republican or democrat; if you lived in her district and had a problem, she got someone to reply (personally; no form letters) and help you out if at all possible. You could get almost universal acknowledgement of that fact from anyone who had ever contacted her office.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you TonyE !!!!! You made my day, week, month and year.


  3. lbprouddeplorable says:

    This is HILARIOUS! You VOTED for these people MD–live with it

    Liked by 2 people

    • Apparently not all of them….I must say the natives are getting restless and I am totally in agreement. This is nothing but a buncho idiotic rules and regulations imposed by control freaks bcz they can.
      Who cares if they make sense or not-just do what I say or else you’ll kill someone. Esh.

      Liked by 1 person

    • GB Bari says:

      No one voted for the current MOCO politicians except the people who actually live in MOCO.

      And few republicans in Maryland voted for any of the DemonRATs who hold office anywhere in the State or Congress. We are basically controlled by three hard blue counties and hard blue Baltimore City.

      Ten years ago they successfully gerrymandered** the entire state to heavily advantage Demonrats and push Republican representation into an extreme minority despite maybe two-thirds of the state being more Republican.

      ** Maryland is the second worst gerrymandered state in the union (NC is the worst) where the gerrymandered districts look worse than Rorschach tests.


  4. Robert Timsah says:

    Apparently though, we could just start lighting shit on fire rather than open businesses. #LiberalRules

    Liked by 5 people

  5. OldParatrooper says:

    Communism attempted to micromanage the Eastern European economies and spectacularly failed. Democrats and Blue States are confident they’ll do better this time.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Dear Jane Timken, Chairman, Ohio GOP,

    Thank you for your many requests for donations, however until you make a SERIOUS effort to reign in dewine and his angel of death acton I can’t see why I would want to give you my hard earned money. Oh I know the Ohio GOP has made half hearted efforts but in the pipefitting trades this is known as “show pipe”. That is pipe hung up quickly to like like you have actually accomplished something when in reality not so much.

    Michael D

    Liked by 2 people

  7. calbear84 says:

    Here in San Diego County we have just over 3.3 million residents and 260 COVID (ahem) deaths. That means an individual living here has a 0.008% chance of dying from the disease. But guess what? We’re still “early” in Gov. Gavin Gruesome’s Phase 2 of the CA reopening plan, with little or no idea how long it will take to progress to full reopening in Phase 4. My small business has lost $100K in revenue so far, and yes, I am upset.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Joemama says:

      The plan is to never get to fully open. The plan is to roll out contact tracing, which is tantamount to the dystopian society described in the book 1984. Mark my words, the cultural marxist democrats will never end this hoax plandemic, unless they are forced to do so, by We the People.

      This is it for cultural marxists/globalists. They are playing for all the marbles. Either they win, by turning the world into a one world communist government in the next couple of years, or they go away as a force for evil in the world. They will be pulling out all the stops. Expect many false flags and lots of violence in the near future.

      Liked by 2 people

      • calbear84 says:

        Totally agree Joe. It is obvious the tyrants are going to hold on to their power until it is ripped from their grasp. Good thing we have President Donald J. Trump at the helm, with millions of patriots on his side!

        Liked by 1 person

    • calbear84 says: Gov. Gavin Gruesome’s


  8. jbrickley says:

    It won’t be much longer, people are extremely pissed off.


  9. paulashley says:

    I just visited my local Aldi’s, and this late in the game, unlike every other store, they’ve decided to restrict entry and require a mask. I said no thanks and walked off. I posted on Aldi’s FB page and got this response:

    “We encourage all customers over the age of two to wear a mask while shopping at ALDI. However, we do not require customers to wear masks while shopping in communities where it is not required by local governments.”

    And over the age of two? When children aren’t affected? And it’s teaching kids to be afraid of their neighbors?

    My reply that neither the state (NC) nor the local authorities require masks has not gotten a response. But I did get a flurry of responses from Karens (though there were a few supporters) including this gem:

    “Wearing masks is no different than wearing shirts and shoes. It’s a public health matter.”

    I went to my local Sam’s Club instead and, worried I might encounter the same idiocy, asked young man going to his car if they were requiring masks. He answered to the negative and we proceed to has a great discussion about the insanity of this charade. I felt good when he told it was nice to see someone of my age (66) who isn’t suckered by this scam and afraid.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. paulashley says:

    This is from the North Carolina COVID FAQ:

    “Some populations experience increased anxiety and fear of bias and being profiled if wearing face coverings in public spaces, but everyone should adhere to this guidance without fear of profiling or bias. If someone is the target of ethnic or racial intimidation as the result of adhering to the protective nose and mouth covering guidance or as a result of the pandemic, they are encouraged to report the matter to local law enforcement agencies or other government entities.”

    Yeah, right, it’s the mask WEARERS who are being harassed. And what in h3ll does this have to do with RACE?

    Give. Me. A . Break.

    Also from the NC COVID FAQ:

    “Phase 2 will be in place until data shows the state is prepared to move forward with Phase 3”

    In other words, there are no objective, transparent criteria, just whatever the governor and his unelected bureaucrats decide they want.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Facts says:

    Soon these bureaucrats will order everyone to wear Bunny Suits. It is the only way to be safe from disease. Also this order will go on forever, 24/7.

    Liked by 3 people

    • paulashley says:

      Liked by 2 people

      • TonyE says:

        Well, at least Ralphie didn’t shoot his eye out when wearing the bunny outfit. Maybe that’s what the health nazis are concerned so we should all start wearing bunny suits. Those feet… OMG… “He looks like a deranged Easter bunny”.

        One of the best movies around. It’s always on our TV on Christmas day.

        Liked by 3 people

  12. Mist'ears Mom says:

    They are determined to string out the misery for as long as they can regardless of the pain and suffering it is causing Americans.
    They do not care about us they only care about power and preventing PDJT from having rallies, a fair election and getting re-elected.
    Stupid-19 is just their latest scam to oppress and lord over us.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Rick says:

    How did Health Institutions ever usurp so much power?
    Where do Governors and mayors get so many baseless emergency powers?

    I can’t believe this insanity, it’s like the twighlight zone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Contrarymary says:

      It’s the health institutions that we should be going after 24/7. How many people die of cancer every year? Do you ever think they’re ever going to find a cure? Heck no!!! When you think of the people who make loads of money off cancer, they would kill a whole industry. Just a few who make billions; universities, cdc, fda, pharma, hospitals, oncologists, pharmacies, cancer charities, Susan kolmans think pink scam, etc….do you really think they would allow this money scheme to dry up? Not on your life and they would go after anybody, tooth and nail, who came up with a cure.

      Liked by 1 person

    • “Where do Governors and mayors get so many baseless emergency powers?”

      From the people that allow them to get away with such baseless BS.

      Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it. The solution is to NOT COMPLY. I didn’t/don’t.


  14. Moe Grimm says:

    Isn’t this the same marxist run MD county that has allowed multiple border jumping rapists out on free passes? I believe it is.


  15. Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.
    – C. S. Lewis


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