What does a self-aggrandizing old RINO do after he’s been put out to pasture? If you’re Arlen Specter, you launch an ill-advised comedy career loosely based on anecdotes about government dysfunction and Viagra jokes, then write a memoir titled, “Life Among Cannibals”. The problem with this new book is, it sounds less like the memories of a distinguished ex-senator, and more like the gross ramblings of a 12 year old boy. (Why do the dull and boring ones always turn out to be the biggest freaks?)
Back in 2008, Specter recalls riding on Sen. John McCain’s “Straight Talk Express” bus on his way to introduce both Palin and McCain at a Delaware County rally. He writes that Palin “sat silent” while he urged McCain to support a policy she opposed on embryonic stem-cell research. He continues…
“She was a total charmer, very friendly,” Specter writes. “The few things she said were intelligent.” He doesn’t mention what they were, maybe because he was distracted.
“We were sitting virtually knee to knee in the cramped bus,” he writes. ”She radiated sensuality. Her skirt rode above her knees — not exactly short, but close.” (page 156)
Wow….steamy stuff! I bet that glance at her nicely turned ankle finished him off for good. No one can accuse Specter of being a class act…not when you deign to belittle and objectify Sarah Palin for the sole purpose of selling a few lousy copies of what would otherwise be a completely disregardable book.
Being an equal opportunity offender, Specter saved a couple of choice remembrances for fellow colleagues as well…
Ted Kennedy In The Hot Tub: “I was in the whirlpool at the Senate gym in 2008, recovering from Hodgkin’s, when Ted Kennedy came over and climbed into the bath. Kennedy was one of the Senate’s giants, in many ways. It was as though a gigantic walrus had plunged into the sea, causing the level to swell. I’d never seen two men in the whirlpool before, but the tub was big enough for two or more. There was a sign that you had to shower before entering. I hadn’t checked that out with Kennedy, but I had neither an objection nor compunction about his coming into the bath. We chatted.” (page 40)
Working Out With John Thune: “[Sen.] John Thune, who looked like a movie star in or out of clothes, was constantly stretching. His lanky body seemed to have some kinks to iron out.” (page 226)
Ugh….somebody pass me the mind bleach! I have to remind myself that this is the same man who not only came up with the “Magic Bullet” theory in the Warren Commission Report, but also switched to the Democratic Party providing Obama with a crucial votes for his stimulus package and Obamacare.
Come to think of it…just what is the difference between Arlen Specter and Barack Obama…besides the Communist Party membership card?
Here’s a sample of what an 82 year old ex-senator sounds like doing stand-up. (Remember, he may technically be an amateur, but he’s had 30 years in the Senate honing his delivery.) His biggest yucks…
“I gave Bill Clinton a call on his 65th birthday and asked him, ‘How do you feel?’ ” Specter said. “He said, ‘Arlen, I feel like a teenager. The problem is I can’t find one.’ ”
And about Newt Gingrich, he quipped: “I’ve known Newt so long, I knew him when he was skinny. In fact, I’ve known him so long, I knew his first wife.”