Lets see,….. predictions:
#1)  The media will look to the stock market today while seeking desperately to make all their prior proclamations of national doom and gloom reconcile.
If the market rises .001% it will be because they were right and the financial world is now back on solid footing saved from the Republican terrorists.   If the market drops .001% it will be because they were right and fear has settled amid the global electorate wondering if we can ever recover from the now visible threats of the dreaded Republican terrorists.

#2)  The media will proclaim outright VICTORY for President Stompy Feet just as assuredly as a consistent diet of ice-cream is the favored breakfast, lunch and dinner for a 4 year old.    The end result being essentially the same, both approaches at acquiescence lead to a no longer crying spoiled brat with a fiscally short life span.  
#3)  The insufferable white-flag only establishment Republicans’ will proclaim “if you had only followed our path”.    All the while desperately avoiding the pesky fact they never had a path or directional outline prior to two weeks ago;  they only know – they don’t like the “other one”.
#4)  800,000 non-essential federal parasites just got a paid 2.5 week vacation, while most were simultaneously collecting unemployment, and we’ll just avoid talking about that little cluster-fudge.
#5)  The Starbucks crowd can now finally use their Panda-Cam iPhone APP again, and the federally funded pre-Elizabethan poetry camp weekend at Woolsey Hall is back on.  Oh-My-Gosh THAT was TOO close.    The always brave and selfless hemp-haired turtle watchers are back on patrol, praise Allah and throw the Ju-Ju bones; and we’ll be paying overtime for the EPA to catch up studying the breeding habits of the North American Sand Smelt.
The Oceans are once again open for travel, and apparently it is now permissible to glance toward Mount Rushmore as you drive the scenic route without fear of the NPS optical police targeting your vehicle from their latest DHS armored half-tracks.   So, “get looking”, after all, we’re paying for the opportunity.
#6)   Desperate single-moms no longer have to sell their breast milk to make ends meet as the SNAP/WIC benefits are again fully charged and Wal Mart promises the flat screen TV’s will once again be back in stock prior to the November distribution.
Thanks to Harry Reid, and the new Emergency Need More Money For Disenfranchised Act passed just in the nick of time, Flat-Screen stock notifications will immediately be sent to all eligible recipients directly on their federally subsidized Obama smart phones.  No need to wait in line.
Meanwhile, Whole Foods promises a response to the new concerns whereby the shortage of Organic Live Lobsters surfaced after food stamp limits were removed.   The CEO has promised all such challenges will be surmounted so under-served communities don’t have to worry about the God-forsaken need to eat steak more than 3 times in any-given-week in the event of any future government shutdown brought on by those right-wing extremists.
#7)   Thankfully the White House garden staff can quickly get back to work on the cabbages, organic carrots and all important arugula before any further nutritional losses to the first family can be experienced.    However, don’t forget, you still can’t visit the White House;  well, that is, if you are not part of the Hollywood community who’s purpose is to entertain the regime.
Smiles everyone….  Smiles…..  We dodged the jihadists in the congress.

Or something.