OMG Thousands of Hours Investigating – CNN Now Claims Russian Controlled Pokemon-Go Collapsed Clinton Candidacy…

Almost a full year has been spent creating vast Russian conspiracy narratives to sell Russia as the cause of Hillary Clinton’s failed campaign for the presidency.  Thousand of hours and tens-of-millions of dollars have been spent trying to prove the vast planetary Russian conspiracy theory.

Today CNN drops their investigative bombshell:  Pokémon Go did it !!

(Link To Story)

Yes, that’s right… Apparently Comrade Pikachu and Comrade Charizard formed a brigade of militant Russian Pokémon characters and appointed General Jigglypuff to formulate the anti-Clinton campaign strategy.

Here’s how it started.  WATCH:

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According to CNN’s exhaustive investigation: Mewtwo and Zaptos led an advanced reconnaissance team near Ferguson, Baltimore and New York while reporting back to Blastoise who was hiding in the mid-west and spearheading the communications effort.

The strategy was brilliant.

All Articuno needed to do was talk to the old man in Veridian City and choose the option of “No” when he was asked if he needed a tutorial on how to catch Pokemon.  As soon as that was accomplished, he flew to Cinnabar island, and, unknown to the Clinton campaign, if they surfed along the right side of the island, right where the water touches the land, the sixth item in the election inventory was duplicated a bunch of times.

This approach allowed Moltres to gain an invisible shield where John Podesta would no longer be able to track him.  Once cloaked General Jigglypuff gave the order to create virtually unlimited amounts of Masterballs or Gold Nuggets.  Whatever else you might think of the plan this strategy was brilliant.

Hillary Clinton never saw it coming.   Many young players at the time didn’t get it, but there were only two fighting Pokemon other than Machop in the plan. Hitmonlee, always a phenomenal kickboxing Pokemon, and Hitmonchan simply by using his fists, (obviously protected by large red boxing gloves), were able to shift the entire electoral map by keeping Brian Fallon from seeing Wisconsin.

Once they had everyone distracted, via the baby form, Tyrogue, everything else simply fell into place.

Michigan fell once Mewtwo found the puzzles and, well, after going through a few floors of the dungeon, he simply used powerful psychic attacks on Tim Kaine and the rest is history.  This made Trump’s entry into Pennsylvania start around level 70 and Podesta was unable to close the gap because by that time he didn’t save any Masterballs.

The annals of 2016 electoral history will always be remembered for the incredible efforts of Lugia, Ho-Oh, Celebi, The Legendary Wolves, Meowth, Dragonite, Bulbasaur and the fossil Pokemon.   Though Ash will likely argue for a long time they should not gain as much public praise as Comrade Pikachu and Comrade Charizard.

Damn those Russians are brilliant.

Now, you probably got this far, had a few snickers, and likely thought I’m joking right?

Right?

Be honest?

Well, if you were smiling while reading… I warn you you might break out into epic fits of uncontrolled laughter….

Because, I’m so not kidding, WATCH:

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This entry was posted in Clinton(s), Conspiracy ?, Desperately Seeking Hillary, Donald Trump, Election 2016, Heros, History, media bias, President Trump, propaganda, Russia, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

427 Responses to OMG Thousands of Hours Investigating – CNN Now Claims Russian Controlled Pokemon-Go Collapsed Clinton Candidacy…

  1. rainmom says:

    they’ve lost their minds

    Liked by 20 people

  2. Lunatic Fringe, Phd. [undocumented] says:

    But but the pokey mans Harvey and Bill said she wuz gonna win!

    Liked by 5 people

  3. MM says:

    My sides are hurting. I can’t pick myself up off the floor due to hysterical laughing.
    I’m hoping I don’t wet my pants from all the laughter.

    Liked by 19 people

  4. Ziiggii says:

    I’m deleting this app now and telling my kids CNN said it was illegal for us to play it anymore because we were used by the evil Russians.

    Liked by 22 people

  5. geoffb5 says:

    Children, the ultimate Democratic voters, stopped and broken from voting Hillary by the evil Pokerussians.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. ginaswo says:

    I choose…not you Hillary

    Liked by 5 people

  7. Stringy theory says:

    OMG, they finally figured it out! Trump is finished.

    Liked by 19 people

    • georgiafl says:

      Can’t wait to hear what Robert Mueller and Rosenstein think of this horrific extensive Russian intrusion into the 2016 election year!!!

      Liked by 10 people

      • Regina says:

        The investigating committees will have to form a congressional delegation (dang, can’t think of that snazzy name they use for that?) to investigate – soon we’ll see them running all over DC

        Liked by 1 person

  8. rsanchez1990 says:

    Hahaha, SD sure knows a lot about Pokémon!

    Liked by 15 people

  9. MisterPasta says:

    ‘a shadowy troll farm’

    That’s priceless.

    Liked by 11 people

  10. Just when I think I have heard it all….. nope not yet!

    Liked by 11 people

  11. Welp, there it goes…the very marble has drop out through the hole in their marble bag. The bag is empty. It is OFFICIALLY straight jacket time.

    Liked by 9 people

    • backwoodsgirl123 says:

      I used to have the original little 45 that my great uncle gave me when he did of black lung (he was a coal miner). Mom sold it and all of the others he gave me in a stupid yard sale!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Abster says:

    When does this insanity end. Who will stop this. These idiots are laughing…all the way to the bank. These made up stories keep CNN on the air. They can no longer determine what is fact and what is fiction. Shut 5hem down or make them show disclaimer indicating non truths.

    Liked by 6 people

  13. Paco Loco says:

    These idiots are serious?

    Liked by 7 people

  14. I used to think PokeMon Go was a waste of time but now that the libs say it’s evil and run by Russians I guess I was wrong and need to check it out. 🙂

    Liked by 9 people

  15. Katherine McCoun says:

    I saw a headline about this today and thought it was a parody. How pitiful!!!!

    If the Russians were trying to galvanize Black Lives Matter then wouldn’t that be trying to help Clinton? I don’t get how all of the Black Lives Matter messages were going to help President Trump. Wouldn’t this only help Hillary by getting her target voters more active and focused on their perceived grievances and issues?

    If the address was a mall and the accounts were all fake then how do they know it was the Russians v. a DNC activist?

    Liked by 12 people

  16. Founding Fathers Fan says:

    I had Russian Dressing on my salad three times last week. Russian, Russian, Russian! 😉

    Liked by 6 people

  17. wrongonred says:

    Lol, Tumblr….you have to be a confirmed and verified SJW to even sign up.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. kpm58 says:

    So the BLM movement was a Russian government creation to elect Trump as President?
    GTFO

    Liked by 4 people

  19. georgiafl says:

    Surely that segment was CNN’s lampoon hour…

    Or they were hacked and that was really the Onion

    Or it was the cold open of Saturday Night Live.

    And that Gamma male (he’s far below Alpha and Beta) is so wide-eyed and earnest explaining his convoluted theory.

    The female looked like she was having to dig her fingernails into her palms to keep from snickering out loud.

    Liked by 8 people

  20. Regina says:

    oh, for a screenshot – CNN chryon right now
    “Chief of Staff Does Damage Control to Address Chaos”

    DOES damage control? these people are melting right before our eyes –

    Sandberg won’t say whether the Russians were working with the Trump campaign, eh? Gee – let’s figure out Why =)

    Liked by 1 person

  21. TwoLaine says:

    Totally beyond ridiculous. Do they have a grab bag they pull a piece of paper out of each day and that’s the story they go with?

    They must really enjoy putting nails in their coffin.

    Liked by 6 people

  22. pageoturner says:

    Poor Hillary. She couldn’t catch a break. Where’s my screaming pillow and quart of Jack Daniels?

    Liked by 6 people

  23. Bouchart says:

    I still have my Pokemon Blue Game Boy cartridge. I wonder if the Russians have been influencing me since the mid 1990s.

    Liked by 5 people

  24. augie says:

    I am speechless.

    Liked by 4 people

  25. tom f says:

    Joe-Dan doesn’t have to look very hard for material.
    Think of the memes we’re about to see.

    Liked by 11 people

  26. decisiontime16 says:

    Pokémon Go to an alternate universe.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. James F says:

    I feel so foolish now.

    I was going to vote for Hillary until I, like so many others, saw that someone had named a Pokeman after Eric Garner. Of course that would logically convince almost anybody to junp onto the Trump train.

    And now it turns out I was manipulated by the evil Russians!

    Liked by 10 people

  28. rikster says:

    0_0

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Atticus says:

    I hear Shrillary had a similar, brilliant plan.
    She was going to place subliminal messages in games as well.
    It’s just that she used Monopoly and Chutes and Ladders…….

    Liked by 1 person

  30. crossrib says:

    So, in other words, if the Russians were meddling at all, they were doing so in order to favor uranium-selling hrc. All of this points to encouraging anti-MAGA.

    Like

  31. Trumppin says:

    I’ve lost track……. how many “What Happened” excuses are we up too now? LOL

    Liked by 5 people

  32. john lorenz says:

    well at least Pokémon is “real” compared to the wet dream of the Russian collusion unicorn

    Liked by 3 people

  33. MK Wood says:

    The sad fact is the mentally challenged at CNN actually believe this.

    Liked by 4 people

  34. How many times can CNN jump the Sharpedo before they get cancelled?

    Liked by 3 people

  35. albrevin says:

    this is absolutely hilarious!

    I saw the 2’nd in command Facebook lady in some interview-clip on FNC…… nothing she said made any sense, it was all about protecting our ‘values’ from hostile ‘foreigners’….. it was almost like she knew she had to give this whole Russian thing some credence or she would be put in the liberal time-out. The whole thing is a charade, a circular confinement their all trapped in.

    BTW, if you can stand it…. look at the HRC video and just how pleased she is with herself after she says ‘Pokeman go’ and then ‘Pokeman go vote’….. it’s like she’s reading Fox n Sox to a bunch of 3’rd graders and she’s right there on their level. Something is seriously wrong with the emotional, maturity and intellectual development of liberals.

    Liked by 7 people

  36. kpm58 says:

    The question at the heart of this is, who told the Russians about Poke-mon and the BLM?
    Obama?

    Like

  37. Gov Jay says:

    LOL! x 1000…

    Like

  38. keeler says:

    Pokemon-Go-to-the-Polls was probably one of my favorite moments from the 2016 campaign.

    Cringy. Out of touch. Wooden line delivery. Blatant pandering. Over-written speeches. Total lack of self-awareness. It symbolized everything the Clinton campaign was.

    And you just know that – every – single – platform – HRC’s media stooges claim the Russians used were platforms targeted by David Brock and Correct the Record. It’s always projection with these people. Always.

    Liked by 5 people

  39. Bob says:

    It’s working! They’re loosing their minds. Too funny!

    Liked by 4 people

  40. sunnydaze says:

    At @2:00, Mueller’s on it. They’ll get to the bottom of this. LOL.

    “Ruling the World thru Pokemon Go” . Did Dylan Byers really just say that?

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Howie says:

    And he is doing it all for free. No charge.

    Liked by 3 people

  42. The Boss says:

    And lefties worry about President Trump’s so-called call to review broadcast licenses?

    Liked by 2 people

  43. sunnydaze says:

    If you missed it, go back and see the look on Clintons face after she mentions Pokemon Go. So self satisfied that she’s in on the terminology and games of the youth!

    Liked by 3 people

  44. Howie says:

    CNN down to Pokemon. Can they go any lower?

    Liked by 7 people

  45. gamecock123 says:

    GAH LEE, thats the dumbest …Pokemon?

    Liked by 1 person

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