Protect Your Children From Sexual Predators

Thanks to Stella for posting this again. This is something we all need to be aware of, something we need to work at. Please take a moment to check out the post and educate yourself about protecting our children. If you have knowledge to add, we appreciate your contribution.

Stella's Place

Guest post by Menagerie.

One in five women and one in twenty men self report being childhood victims of sexual abuse. Sixty to eighty percent of the abusers are known to the child or their family. As many as half that are family members. Up to twenty percent of the abusers are females. Predators come from all walks of life, but studies overwhelmingly show they are likely to be someone you, the parents or protectors of the children, trust. We tend to think of sexual predators as a man in a trench coat who jumps out of a dark van and snatches a child away. In real life, the predator may approach a child online, they may be a teacher, a relative, a priest, pastor, youth worker, a volunteer at a church or youth facility, or a friend. They may be the parent or care giver of a friend of…

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177 Responses to Protect Your Children From Sexual Predators

  1. This is horrifyingly not new. I was myself a victim as a child and know personally a few others who were as well. All female friends. And it was by someone known to family.

    Liked by 10 people

    • Judiciary says:

      Same here, victimized by male family member but so-called adults didn’t take it seriously.

      Liked by 6 people

      • Raven says:

        Years ago one of my sisters married a man in the Air Force. It was her second marriage, a marriage she went into with 3 small children, a marriage that took her and her children to another part of the country.

        About 1/2 of a year into the marriage I was talking to a second sister and asked if she’d heard from the sister who’d gotten married recently and she said she had. Then she asked me if I’d heard what the sister’s new husband was doing with the kids. Antenna went up and I said ‘No, what is he doing with the kids?’

        She got the letter our sister had written and in it she spoke of how her husband had nailed her daughter in a closet because she was misbehaving (multiple nail holes around door trim), he always wanted her youngest son to sit on his lap and he had been caught more than once touching the boys penis.

        I’m on the phone talking to one sister ready to blow a gasket with what I’m hearing and I think to myself — WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!

        The sister who is reading the letter had received it days earlier and did nothing, and the sister who wrote it — the mother of these children — could only find the strength/sanity/whatever to write a letter telling someone far away what was going on. Neither did anything to step in and stop the monster living with the children.

        I immediately got off the phone with my sister and called the Air Force Base he was not only stationed at, but that they lived on.

        Soon after the Air Force stepped in they got divorced. My sister was pregnant with his child at the time, and he has had not one thing to do with his child — ever (she is 30 with two kids of her own). Since that time he decided he wanted to be a woman. I’m sure “she” is just as much a charmer as he was.

        Liked by 6 people

    • Me too but it was a stranger. My grandparents lived in NYC and I was visiting for the summer. I was 8. My grandmother took me to Radio City Music Hall to see the Rockettes. A man sat down beside me and put his hands where they don’t belong. I asked my grandmother to move over one seat. She wouldn’t and couldn’t be bothered to look at me. When I told her later what happened she yelled at me and said it was my fault and not to tell my Dad. I begged my parents never to send me to NYC for the summer again. My Dad realized how unhappy I was so I never spent the summer in NYC again. It took me 20 years to realize it wasn’t my fault.

      Liked by 13 people

      • How sad that you felt responsible. Shame on your grandmother.

        Liked by 6 people

        • Hindsight is 20:20. When I realized it wasn’t my fault, I also realized why my grandmother made me feel guilty and told me not to tell my Dad. She and my Dad didn’t get along very well and I was Daddy’s little girl. No doubt in my mind that he would not have been happy that this happened to me on her watch.

          I have two sons (now in their 20’s). I made sure when they were young that they knew that no one (NO ONE) was allowed to touch them anywhere or for any reason and they were to tell me if it happened. It never happened but I wanted to be sure they never went through what I experienced.

          Back in “those days” sexual abuse and encounters like that were not discussed. It was not proper conversation. I sincerely hope that those of us that experienced things like that made sure that it didn’t happen to ours and others that we love when we became old enough to prevent it.

          Liked by 3 people

    • Yep, same here. In fact, this happens with far too much frequency!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bob Thoms says:

    This is a serious issue. I am always suspicious of statistics surrounding hot button cultural issues.

    Do you have a link for the 1 out of 5/1 in 20 stat?

    Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • stella says:

      A quick search found this. And there are more.

      Like

      • pyromancer76 says:

        Unfortunately, we can’t believe the NYT in anything they publish — for a long, long time, if ever. Childhood sexual abuse is a serious concern. Don’t know where scientifically reliable statistics can be found. We know “sick” individuals engage in using young people; we also know this is a way marxists have of destroying the family. Keep your young family members close — including their use of the internet.

        Liked by 4 people

      • keeler says:

        I don’t want to dismiss the issue of rape or sexual assault, but I would recommend caution in citing the “One-in-Five” statistic often promulgated by the media (especially those articles from 2014 onward), as it is disputed and stems only from politically-tainted college campus surveys. (While Menagerie also cites a one-in-five number, I note that it refers to childhood sexual abuse and therefore assume those numbers comes from a different source. My comments only address the media-driven messaging on sexual assualt).

        “MYTH 4: One in five in college women will be sexually assaulted.

        FACTS: This incendiary figure is everywhere in the media today. Journalists, senators and even President Obama cite it routinely. Can it be true that the American college campus is one of the most dangerous places on earth for women?

        The one-in-five figure is based on the Campus Sexual Assault Study, commissioned by the National Institute of Justice and conducted from 2005 to 2007. Two prominent criminologists, Northeastern University’s James Alan Fox and Mount Holyoke College’s Richard Moran, have noted its weaknesses:

        “The estimated 19% sexual assault rate among college women is based on a survey at two large four-year universities, which might not accurately reflect our nation’s colleges overall. In addition, the survey had a large non-response rate, with the clear possibility that those who had been victimized were more apt to have completed the questionnaire, resulting in an inflated prevalence figure.”

        Fox and Moran also point out that the study used an overly broad definition of sexual assault. Respondents were counted as sexual assault victims if they had been subject to “attempted forced kissing” or engaged in intimate encounters while intoxicated.

        Defenders of the one-in-five figure will reply that the finding has been replicated by other studies. But these studies suffer from some or all of the same flaws. Campus sexual assault is a serious problem and will not be solved by statistical hijinks.”

        Source: http://time.com/3222543/wage-pay-gap-myth-feminism/

        On the other hand:

        “One in five female undergraduates have experienced some kind of sexual assault while in college, according to a new study of students at nine institutions released Wednesday by the Bureau of Justice Statistics. The study included survey responses from 15,000 women and 8,000 men, and defined sexual assault as including both rape and sexual battery, such as forced kissing, touching, grabbing or fondling.”

        Source: https://www.insidehighered.com/quicktakes/2016/01/21/justice-department-1-5-women-sexually-assaulted-college

        Ultimately, I believe it is more important to give those at high risk of sexual assault empowering tools such as risk management techniques, situational awareness, and definitions of appropriate/inappropriate behavior boundaries, rather than look at statistics. Sexual assault is certainly the most personal of crimes, and arming individuals with the knowledge and skills to defend themselves and reduce their risk exposure helps prevent actual individuals from becoming a faceless statistical fraction.

        Again I am not being dismissive of the issue, nor challenging its premise. To the contrary, I want people to be able to see and understand this immense and terrible problem on a correct and factually sound basis.

        Liked by 2 people

        • stella says:

          Why don’t we all go back to the topic of the article, which is child sex abuse.

          It happens. We probably all know somebody who has been abused, and I’m sure there are others of our acquaintance who were but don’t talk about it.

          How many really isn’t the point of the article. It is how to stop something we know happens, and to prevent it from happening to our children/grandchildren.

          Liked by 10 people

          • Sharon says:

            Those who don’t like the statistics cited are perfectly free to not ever have a concern about the reality of such events where their children and grandchildren are concerned. Same with brushing teeth – not every child who never brushes their teeth has serious dental problems, so skip that, too..

            Sheesh.

            Liked by 6 people

            • labrat says:

              Oh BS. I can and will object to fanciful stats every time I see them, they are LIES. That has nothing to do with having concerns about the reality of sexual abuse.

              Like

              • stella says:

                Why not concentrate on the article? Did you read it all? Menagerie writes something about the statistics in the last paragraph.

                Sharon has a BIG point, but you missed it, obviously.

                Liked by 2 people

              • stella says:

                By the way, you are free to investigate and present the statistics that you accept.

                Liked by 1 person

              • Menagerie says:

                Lies? I found it very hard to find consistent statistics and ALL sources noted that this crime is under reported and hard to measure. I believe that I fairly noted that problem.

                Let me tell you that I deeply and profoundly resent you calling me a liar.

                Liked by 3 people

                • labrat says:

                  Please don’t be offended Menagerie, my comments are not about your issue. I’m not questioning the horror of child sexual abuse, but I do question it’s reported frequency. I’m not calling you a liar. I’m calling the researchers and their stats liars. This is a pet hobby of mine – not just your stats – most research. I never read an article that says “study says” without trying to track down the original publication.Look up John Ioannidis sometime.

                  Like

                • dalethorn says:

                  Thank you. I’ve felt for a long time that the incidence of sexual abuse is way, way under-reported. People who investigate this extremely sensitive issue have often discredited, and sometimes worse.

                  Liked by 1 person

          • keeler says:

            In an attempt to nudge the discussion back on course: You seem to be taking criticism of the link personally. Please don’t. We all want the same thing in the end, which is to remind people of the dangers of child sexual abuse.

            However, my argument (and I believe several others as well) is that using statistical data which is either distorted or misapplied to make such a point is to go about making that point in the wrong way. I, for my part, believe this to be accidental rather than malicious.

            Child sexual abuse is a very emotional and sensitive issue, understandably so, and for some more emotional and more sensitive than for others. However, regardless of the emotional reference point we being from we all ultimately desire one thing and which you and I both stated in different ways, the prevention child sexual abuse from occurring in the first place.

            Like

            • keeler says:

              And again to clarify, I am not referring to Menagerie’s post, and not even necessarily to Stella’s link, but rather to a rash of questionable studies propagated by certain media outlets in the last four years. Conflating the latter with former does a disservice to the problem of child sexual abuse.

              Like

            • stella says:

              Since I didn’t write this article, why would I take it “personally”? I am annoyed (I think rightly) by many who 1. obviously didn’t read the entire article, but just the first paragraph, which appears on this page. 2. are sidetracked by statistics they don’t agree with.

              Ask yourself why there are almost NO comments about the other information provided in this article?

              Getting hung up on a statistic you don’t like or don’t believe misses the entire point of the article.

              Liked by 3 people

              • deanbrh says:

                Good grief, who the heck cares about statistics. ONCE to ONE child is too much. Forty-two years ago, in a mental health facility’s morning therapy session (I was a student there to observe), the topic turned to sexual abuse. After the session, when all the patients had gone back to their rooms, I told the leader I was stunned, had NO idea fathers abused daughters. “Your father didn’t screw you?”” she scoffed. “It’s VERY common. You are one of the lucky few. It’s rare to meet a girl who was not abused by her father.” The stories I heard during my 9 week rotation there all were so similar in that the girls’ mothers didn’t believe those who had dared to report the abuse. I am still stunned! I once read an article about an experiment in a prison in which pedophiles were chemically castrated and were grateful to no longer be assaulted by relentless sexual urges. It was a small study…I think only 16 subjects….not duplicated because the public is so averse to medical manipulation of prisoners. I do believe, if given the choice, some pedophiles (maybe MANY) would opt for chemical castration. If men can opt for Viagra to turn on sex drive, how about a drug to turn it off being an option? It is, after all, a matter of hormones gone awry. But that’s just my opinion.

                Liked by 2 people

              • keeler says:

                As this discussion has taken up enough space, this will be my final response (barring any direct response from the CTH administration.)

                In my opinion, any further discussion of the articles contents would a) be veering further off topic and b) irrelevant to my point.

                My central point and your point are not far off from another, as I have attempted to explicitly state several times. Again, I agree with you that statistics are of limited value; as I said, arming individuals with the knowledge and social tools to lower the risk of sexual assault or abuse as low as possible is more critical. So yes, I agree the statistics are not that important in the end.

                Respectfully, one could argue you’re just as “hung up” on defending certain statistics (or at least their use) as some are in being skeptical of them, and that in doing so may have missed this point. I do not say this to be condescending or play “gotcha” but in a sincere and final attempt to convey my point of view, and to perhaps make any possible misunderstanding of your position on my part clear.

                In addition to all of this, I raised the point that some statistics on sexual abuse in recent has been corrupted by politics and is being used to push a progressive agenda in certain areas of society. In raising this point, I hope to assist those who choose shine a light on the issue of child sexual abuse from being undermined by using faulty data, which can then be turned around to argue the problem is “not a big deal” or “exaggerated” or a “witch hunt.” And as incredible as that position may seem to some, there is a movement to normalize such disgusting behavior which would take such opportunities. In the end, my initial post on this issue was an attempt to offer a constructive warning that there are those who would seize on “bad stats” to undermine the message.

                Like

        • dalethorn says:

          I think you could benefit from looking at the source and intent of any investigations. Your statement that this “incendiary claim is everywhere in the media” isn’t relevant I don’t think, for the simple reason that the mainstream media (MSM) are professional liars, and are repudiated at great length on this site. The MSM goal is to herd everyone under a blanket of “protection” by the federal government – regardless of facts, with the MSM as their mouthpieces. The intent and source of this article is as different from that as night and day.

          Liked by 1 person

    • stella says:

      Myth:
      Child sexual abuse is a rare experience.
      Fact:
      Child sexual abuse is not rare. Retrospective research indicates that
      as many as 1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys will experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18.

      However, because child sexual abuse is by its very nature secretive, many of these cases are never reported.

      http://nctsn.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/caring/ChildSexualAbuseFactSheet.pdf

      Liked by 10 people

      • labrat says:

        experience “some form of sexual abuse”
        Common tactic of researchers, lumping together of different acts. Pull up the paper and most of them fall into some minor category. They’ll ask a bunch of questions “have you ever ….?” People answer yes without any context to what they are responding to.
        Ask people if they’ve ever been a victim of sexual abuse (as they perceive it) and I bet you won’t even come close to that stat.

        Liked by 1 person

        • stella says:

          I’ll repeat this one more time. The statistics are not the highlight of this article. As Menagerie said towards the bottom (did you read it?): One final note on the statistics quoted in this post. As you can imagine, sexual abuse is often not reported, and the statistics available vary from one source to another, even in government reports. I used a range representative of the studies and reports I found to be most credible, as well as figures I obtained from a practicing clinician, a doctor who specializes in treating victims of sexual abuse.

          The important things are the tips given here to prevent children from being abused. Period. They are good tips.

          Liked by 6 people

    • I am afraid that I can not discuss this without getting political. Is this figure for the USA, or for the world as a whole.

      I am British by birth. I travelled all around the UK for my work, many moons ago. I have friends in Rotherham, Rochdale, Oldham, Watford, Doncaster, Bradford, and many other small cities and towns which have experience huge demographic changes.

      For any of you who know what these cities represent in relation to this issue, then you will understand my first statement.

      I question the statistic, in relation to the USA. I am not saying any race is pure, but to think 1 in 5 of my friends is abusing their children lends me to alarm and panic.

      Maybe I am wrong. Maybe 20% of all of our colleagues should be in jail.

      Liked by 2 people

      • AM says:

        Question every statistic. If a crime never goes reported, how do they know it exists? On what basis do the propose to even estimate what is never talked about it?

        Anyone can make up any statistic that sounds vaguely plausible in this scenario and we’ll never know if it’s right. Our best facts are only on reported, verified charges. That’s all we can use as best estimates. We can’t use “well, they never talked about it, so let’s guess”. Literally those are numbers made up out of thin air.

        Meanwhile, while this is not a popular concept, race and religion impact who might be involved with a reported rape/sexual assault.

        Black men, statistically, have much higher incidence of rape than whites. Atheists and homosexuals are much more found to be molesters than heterosexuals and observant Christians. In the case of the Catholic church scandals, almost to a man they were homosexuals, struggling with their faith, who should have never been let into the priesthood in the first place. And in defense of the institution of my own faith, I will point out that sexual molestation is much more prevalent within the ranks of public school teachers who quite often are atheists. Islam is also known to be associate with rape – the Rotterdam sex ring is part of a long association within Islam.

        Basically, these blanket statistic are meant to scare you that everyone is molester. Well, no. Yes, anyone is capable of rape/molestation. But no, certain religious mindsets and races it make it more likely. They aren’t pretty facts, but they exist whether we like it or not.

        Liked by 4 people

        • Lulu says:

          The average pedophile has many victims before they are caught. So no it’s not 20% of the people you encounter are pedophiles it is that possibly 20% of female children have been victimized. If one creepy neighbor abuses 30 kids over 30 years or one creep teacher abuses 15, etc…

          Liked by 7 people

      • I did not mean to like this reply. It is naive to think sexual abuse is uncommon.

        Liked by 3 people

        • AM says:

          Why? Maybe it’s naive to think sexual abuse is common. Making presenting as commonplace when it is not might encourage people in the behavior.

          I do know that campus rape statistics absolute never match crime statistics on the subject. That’s a problem and profoundly unfair to young men.

          Like

          • Well, for one thing, many college campuses have their own police who do not report to local police. This is intentional, as it keeps the stats down. I am aware that some women cry rape after a night out. It is wrong and they should be prosecuted for false accusations. But of the women in my immediate family, three generations, there have been three sexual assaults by men and four cases of child molestation (3 by males, 1 by female). Of the men in my immediate family, the same three generations, none have been falsely accused and one was molested by another male. Anecdotal, but there it is. I suspect many others here have similar stories.

            Liked by 1 person

            • AM says:

              “This is intentional, as it keeps the stats down. I am aware that some women cry rape after a night out. ”

              Maybe it’s many. How about an entire frat smeared in the Rolling Stone hoax?

              If a woman will not go to the real police, then I have question the sincerity of the charge. I’m sorry, there are two people here – the accuser and the accused. Both have rights.

              Young men are getting thrown of colleges based on drunken hook-ups (both parties drunk) without real trials or even ways to defend themselves. It’s fair to them, not in the least and it matters.

              ” But of the women in my immediate family, three generations, there have been three sexual assaults by men and four cases of child molestation (3 by males, 1 by female). Of the men in my immediate family, the same three generations, none have been falsely accused and one was molested by another male. Anecdotal, but there it is. I suspect many others here have similar stories.”

              Or maybe sexual molestation runs in families (makes sense) and we really don’t know how common it is, unless people are willing to break the cycle and step forward properly report. Maybe your family is a very unfortunate and tragic anomaly.

              And how many are willing to come into the light, as difficult as it is for the victim? That’s what breaks the cycles – the light and the courage to use our formal system of justice.

              Like

      • Sharon says:

        You’re assuming that each perp only does this once.

        As I said, sheesh.

        Liked by 3 people

    • G. Combs says:

      Me and most of my female friends were the victims of rape or other sexual abuse. We do not talk of it to males so you would not be aware.

      Liked by 5 people

    • Sharon Moe says:

      In Texas it’s 1/4 and 1/6 based on training I received from Alliance for Children as a church staff member. Here is another source:

      https://www.cactx.org/child-abuse-in-texas

      Liked by 2 people

      • AM says:

        Right. And how do you know that statistic is right? How did they come up with it?

        What if the real statistic is like 1/20? 1/100?

        Even people with the best of intentions will play games with the truth and think it’s okay.

        Liked by 1 person

        • stella says:

          Go find your own statistics and present them, rather than criticizing everyone else.

          Liked by 3 people

          • AM says:

            Um…why do we need statistics to care about this? If it wasn’t a massive epidemic would it still have importance?

            My issue is that if these statistics are untrue or misleading in anyway, it’s important that we discuss it. It matters.

            Like

            • stella says:

              IF the statistics are untrue … Important we discuss it.

              If it is so very important, why hasn’t anyone done some research to find out the “real” statistics, and present them here for discussion? But no. They just bitch about it, and cast aspersions.

              Liked by 1 person

              • AM says:

                “If it is so very important, why hasn’t anyone done some research to find out the “real” statistics, and present them here for discussion? But no. They just bitch about it, and cast aspersions.”

                It’s not okay to present statistics as presumptive truth. Somebody did a better post and whole discussion with you. Obviously these numbers mean a lot even as you claim they aren’t in different places.

                When the answer is “X number of reported assaults, unknown unreported”, than what’s what needs to be stated. Not “we think it’s number because random survey”. Real people get hurt when falsehoods get spread, even with the best of intentions.

                Like

                • stella says:

                  How do real people get hurt by statistics? What did you think of the rest of the article. Did you read it? It amazes me that the majority of you are hung up on the statistics – and you don’t know if they are correct or not!

                  I’m sorry you aren’t interested in the welfare of children who have been molested, or may be molested in the future, and the tips presented to protect them.

                  Liked by 2 people

        • Sharon Moe says:

          The training is offered for PREVENTION. What about that is a game? I am shocked at the mockers here. We required all staff and volunteers to undergo mandatory training and background checks. If your church doesn’t do this, find another church.

          Liked by 5 people

          • georgiafl says:

            Absolutely! Training, background checks and strict security protocols are vital measures for protecting children attending church, camp and sports.

            Liked by 3 people

        • Menagerie says:

          Kindly state the threshold at which we should be concerned. Five percent? Twenty five?

          First, there is no “it is xx.y% of children under 18” that can be agreed upon. Second, you can’t see the forest for the trees. And as Sharon and others have stated, why in the world would anyone think an abuser chooses one victim His or her whole life?

          Liked by 5 people

          • The threshold at which we should be concerned is ONE, one instance, period. It’s a crime, it hurts children, and (judging by the inability of commenters here to concentrate on the problem itself, rather than arguing over how often it occurs) it isn’t very well understood.

            Unfortunately, this is a focus group without enough focus. I expect you’ve experienced that in other forums, and I hope it won’t discourage you. This is an important article.

            Liked by 4 people

          • AM says:

            Kindly state when we deal in the truth. I believe every victim story I have ever been told.

            But I will not deal in lies, even with the best of intentions.

            If you cannot back up your statistics, do not use them as means of sympathy or raising false alarms. It is profoundly unfair to make people scared of otherwise honest people.

            And more importantly, every person counts, even if it is 1/200 or 1/2000 or 1/10000. I don’t need BS statistics to have discussions about sexual abuse or offer support. If the only reason you think it’s important is because it’s an “epidemic”, then that’s a problem.

            Like

            • Menagerie says:

              I am about done with being called a liar. Disagree all you want but I am done with being called a liar and accused of deliberately using “BS” statistics.

              You don’t agree with the post, fine. Stop with the attitude and accusation right now.

              Like

              • AM says:

                To be clear, I am not calling you a liar. Tone is difficult in this forum. Knowing someone is lieing requires a deliberate intention and that’s information I do have. If anything I would default to good intentions and certainly not deliberate.

                But where is the evidence for your statistics? All you can do is say “stop calling me a liar” because I’m asking for evidence. I maybe I’m wrong and you can vindicate yourself easily. I will gladly apologize for calling them BS statistics if I am wrong. Seriously, tell me how your admittedly impressive statistics were compiled and I will be the first to post about. Put it up there and even make a new post if you wish. “AM retracks”.

                Your cause is worthy…but if what you’re reporting is not true, it must be dealt with and not taken personally. It is unfair to make people scared or think they absolutely the next victim without cause. We cannot bear false witness even anonymously, accidentally, or with the best of intentions.

                Ultimately, what you’re setting me up is that if I think there’s something wrong with the statistics in use, then I must for molestation and calling you a liar, when nothing is further from truth. 1 case is too many…but if these statistics are out of the ball park, we will lose people from creating a case that was there never there.

                Like

                • Menagerie says:

                  http://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics

                  This may or may not be where some of the statistics came from. I wrote the damned post four years ago, and it was published today with the notation that I did not re update the research.

                  I am exceedingly sorry that it was reposted. I won’t ever make that mistake again. I very likely will not ever be stupid enough to care about writing a post for this blog again.

                  Forgive me for giving a damn. I am done.

                  Liked by 1 person

                • AM says:

                  So..this whole thing for you was predicated on us accepting numbers that may or may not be true? (I can’t reply to your post).

                  1 molestation is too many and anyone you can prevent is worth it. But yes, in light of the Rolling Stone hoax, get the numbers right. Young men matter. Their reputations matter.

                  Like

        • What is wrong with you people that keep harping on about the *&(#&^%&*^&*^# statistics?
          If it’s 1 in a hundred it’s too many and THAT is the point of this post, period.

          Just stop. Let these incredible ladies spread the information about HOW TO PREVENT and or DETECT predatory sexual abuse that does happen, and destroys lives.

          That is all.

          Liked by 1 person

          • AM says:

            “What is wrong with you people that keep harping on about the *&(#&^%&*^&*^# statistics?”

            Falsehoods matter. Not smearing reputations of people you’ve never met matter.
            She could have written the post without those and it would have been wonderful.

            But somehow 1 in 5 females being molested has to be true or the whole thing was a waste.

            Like

    • Judith says:

      I respect Menagerie and her posts are always incredibly insightful. This problem is timeless and we all know people who have suffered sexual abuse as children and adolescents, if not having been victimized ourselves. I left the Catholic Church because of their tacit approval of “problem” priests. So I completely get where Menagerie’s warning is coming from, and in no way would I diminish her valid concerns.

      That said, be very careful how you approach this subject with your children. I have seen, firsthand, how militant social justice warriors have corrupted the discussion. College campuses have basically outlawed sex at this point. There are administrative offices dedicated to supporting “gender confused” students as well as victims of “unwanted” sexual advances.

      Colleges now maintain that if somebody has a blood alcohol level (.08?) that prohibits them from lawfully operating a motor vehicle, then they are unable to give consent. Let that sink in for a moment.

      No one would argue that it is okay for an unconscious teen to be dragged off by a sexual predator, but one or two drinks at a party does not a victim make. Taken to this extreme, a rape culture has been created that demonizes normal sexual activity. Who, especially college students, hasn’t taken a drink to wind down and relax their inhibitions? Well, it is now considered non-consent, or rape, to have sex while drinking alcohol, and boys who get lucky are evil monsters. See how that works?

      Liked by 3 people

      • I understand where you are coming from, but a close female relative of mine was raped in college by an athlete. They hushed it up. This was a major university on the west coast. The athlete was told to quietly leave. They paid for counseling and medical costs for my relative, and only because she was an athlete also. It was horrendous. No repercussions beyond having to go play sports at another big league school.

        Liked by 4 people

      • Menagerie says:

        I am Catholic, and do not defend the abuse by priests. Not do I choose to ignore every other segment of society that abuse children. Finally, there is no church on earth not run by humans.

        Liked by 5 people

        • Judith says:

          I apologize that you were offended by my catholic priest remark. I see from all of your posts that you are a very spiritual person and I appreciate your perspective. I didn’t mean to imply that child abuse is endemic to Catholicism. I was sharing my own personal experience, as our local parish had a child molester. I therefore moved my children to another church because I felt I could trust that particular pastor and his family. I am not ignoring other segments of society, I simply have no reference for them in my own life experiences.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. MIKE says:

    Parents; NEVER CAVE IN when your sons or daughters want to explore social media sights, especially snap chat rooms, w/o your permission and supervision. Even if it involves family members like cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.
    Sort of a “what you never would have suspected” WILL happen without your supervision, i.e. church groups, which, sorry to say, should be immediate red flags.
    This advise is bourne from experience. Thank you to Stella and Menagerie for bringing an important issue to the forefront.
    Be well, all treepers.

    Liked by 6 people

    • There’s a new (to me) crime that took my very best friends childs life. Here’s what happens.

      The boy gets hooked up with someone who can provide semi porn. Then it turns into harder porn. Then they have the child use a camer where they are being photographed while in a compromising way. Next, the site blackmails the child for money or favors (more photos).

      Sadly, my friends child got caught up into this. Out of fear and extreme guilt took a permanent solution for a temporary problem. This has forever changed my dear friend and her family. Please pass this info on. I was shocked at how devious the world has become.

      Liked by 7 people

      • Daniel says:

        Children don’t need cameras or internet. They don’t. My youngest is now 11. No phone. No unsupervised internet. He’s not “unhappy” and not miserable. We don’t give him electronic pacifiers which, of all easy definitions, these devices and gadgets are — something to keep the kids out of our hair so we can indulge ourselves peacefully… am I right?

        I must be the LAST family man alive. We do weird things like plan camping trips and other family outings. My little one rode a horse for the first time and he loved it. At his age, there are a LOT of “firsts” waiting to be experienced and none of them involve the internet or camera phones… except maybe the pictures I have of him riding a horse for the first time and that big smile on his face.

        Liked by 15 people

        • You are so right Daniel.

          Real life is so much better than the pretend of the internet.

          Horses, motorcycles, skiing, are so much better when experienced in reality.

          Video games can be fun for a while but the real thing is awesome.

          Liked by 4 people

      • Truthfilter says:

        This is what scares me about kids playing video games with strangers online. I have 2 adolescent male family members who literally spend hours per day interacting with other players while playing these games. I can see some real potential in this for predators of all stripes.

        Liked by 5 people

      • Menagerie says:

        And this is absolutely sexual abuse, in every sense of the word. A child victimized.

        Liked by 6 people

    • Nan says:

      I think I speak for many Millennials when I saw the Internet has brought a lot of disgusting crap into my life. I had a friend who was getting groomed on chat rooms back in the early 2000s, before anybody had really caught on to what a boon the Internet would be for child predators. I look back on it as a adult with horror, because it is so clear what was going on, but at the time, how would I have known that? I worked with a guy once too, whose daughter was getting a lot of hardcore gay porn pushed across her Tumblr blog, and it messed her up badly. Her family didn’t know what was going on until I suggested checking her dashboard. I hate that I knew exactly what was going on, but this is part of life now. This is what I grew up with.

      Social media platforms may seem really confusing to adults, especially those Gen Xers and older who didn’t grow up with this stuff, but please keep an eye on what your children are doing online. No smart phones, no personal tablets or laptops, and one central computer in a high traffic location in the house, such as the kitchen, go a long way to helping with this. If those things aren’t possible, talk to them a LOT. As hard as that might be, I wish my parents had known to talk to me.

      Liked by 5 people

  4. mazziflol says:

    I’ll share a story from personal experience.

    I had a friend named ‘John’. John, like myself had small children (2-5yrs). John was a drummer in a local band. The band also had a guitarist named ‘Steve’. John told me about an interesting conversion that he had with Steve. During that conversation, John told me that Steve made a curious statement to the effect of “Don’t teach your children to keep secrets, don’t even play.”

    About a week later Steve was arrested on serious child molestation charges. Fortunately, the arrest had nothing to do with my friends children, but unfortunately it did involve someone else’s. But the ‘advice’ from the perpetrator…stuck with me. Teaching children that secrets are OK…can be dangerous. Even when in play, like telling your child that you giving them a piece of candy ‘will be your secret and don’t tell mommy’. It’s easy to see how that persuasion can play out into a predators hand.

    Why Steve had that conversation with my friend John, we will never know. Guilt? Because John was his friend? I cant say. What I can say is this:

    To this day, that has carried over with me my children, There are no secrets.

    Liked by 9 people

    • Daniel says:

      Speaking as a man who once dodged a similar bullet of accusation (proven false but until the proof was recognized, my life was hell) I would also think that perhaps he was being false accused. Do you *know* of he was guilty or merely accused of something?

      I have survived hell in family courts — very lucky to have survived. Most men do not survive. As an innocent man I tend to see things through that lens of possibility.

      Liked by 3 people

  5. mazziflol says:

    I got put in limbo =(

    Like

  6. BigJake says:

    Check the sex offender map for your area and make certain the women in your life (including children) are properly trained in basic self-defensive use of firearms. You never know when someone may kick in your front door.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Bob Thoms says:

      Except statistically the predator will be a friend or family neighbor who is trusted in your family circle.

      Liked by 1 person

      • G. Combs says:

        Correct many of my female friends were raped or inappropriately touched. NONE of us reported except perhaps to a trusted relative.

        We are going through this type of mess with a neighbor. The teenage girls have tried to commit suicide and the *^&*#@ judge keeps taking the kids from the relatives the children have run to and putting them back with Mom who allows access to the rapist (grandad)

        Liked by 7 people

        • BigJake says:

          The guy who caved in my door while my wife was home alone with our two young children was not a friend or relative. Had she been unarmed I’d be a childless widower. Playing the percentages is not a guarantee.

          Liked by 7 people

  7. Michael says:

    “Question every statistic. ”

    Absolutely. Does this include women who chose to get drunk and later expresses her regret by destroying the life of a man who was just as drunk as she?
    I don’t use alcohol. Unless the woman in the above example can prove to me she was ‘forcibly drunk’ to coin a phrase I have little sympathy.

    The good Catholic college gurl who gets pregnant and accuses a maintenance worker of raping her? (Happened to a co-worker. Was quite an embarrassment when he asked to call his vasectomy doctor because he wanted to give the doc an earful for doing poor work)

    I could go on.

    I do however have 3 sisters one of whom was gang raped so I am aware it does happen and I would kill them slowly – but let us make damned sure what we are talking about.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Michael says:

      forgot a comma…

      Like

    • Menagerie says:

      I believe this article was about, and I emphasize one more time, childhood sexual abuse.

      It has nothing to do with sexually active teens and young adults.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I jumped in a defended the statistic thing, but you lost me here. My sweet sister was gang raped at 13 by 6 boys at a party where the parents went to the store of all things while the kids were left alone. She wasn’t sexually active, didn’t want to be sexually active, and did NOTHING to bring on being gang raped by a group of 15 and 16 year old boys.

        After that, she wanted nothing to do with “sex”, but still hoped for a “boyfriend”. She was raped again at 17, for not “putting out”, and a last time at 25 by her HUSBAND because she “will do it when he says, not when she feels like”. All relevant to her history in my opinion. If we aren’t still in childhood at 13, then I missed that memo a lifetime ago.

        Like

        • Menagerie says:

          Oh for God’s sake. Being gang raped at 13 is sexual abuse. She didn’t choose to be sexual active, and she was too young to make a valid choice, in my opinion, anyhow.

          If you want to be offended, at this point I could care less. Go ahead.

          Like

  8. Daniel says:

    The 1 in 5 thing has always been a sore spot for people requiring proof. All manner of conservatives have broken these claims down as absurd and impossible. Surveys of the kind used in the NYT article are generally quite subjective in nature and the definitions used are often very broad as well.

    For example, “One-third of women said they had been victims of a rape, beating or stalking, or a combination of assaults.” Yeah? A full one-third? And notice how it includes a combination of forms of assault including one which is not technically assault — “stalking” which is an extremely subjective term when taken from a survey.

    These types of claims absolutely NEED to come from a strictly controlled and reliable source using precise definitions. People with an agenda love to cite shocking numbers which cannot be reliably supported or reviewed and not based on definitions which all may agree upon.

    So I’m just going to call BS on these numbers when they aren’t coming from crime statistics. That is the only objective source of data we have. If it’s not reported and properly examined, then it’s subjective and not fully available for review.

    Such polls are fine for guessing who might be elected in the next election,,, those are often wildly wrong too as we very well know. But to cite things like this and to assign this as cause of fear and suspicion and even hate and mistrust of..? Who else but men? I have to take exception to that. This is the sort of thing which leads to an anti-male culture which accuses all men of being collectively guilty of a large number of unsubstantiated and undefined crimes.

    And at the very bottom of the article linked above:
    ——
    Correction: December 15, 2011

    An earlier version of this article misstated, using outdated information from an advocacy group’s Web site, the number of Americans who were victims of sexual violence last year, according to the Department of Justice. It is 188,830 — not 272,350, the corresponding figure from 2006. (The error first appeared in the Personal Health column on Tuesday.)
    ——

    The source of the data is from an advocacy group. We do understand the nature of these advocacy groups yes? Like the dairy council every year saying “we need more milk consumption! the nation’s health is at very high risk!!” These are people supporting a cause or agenda and often stop at nothing to get the kind of numbers so they can get the kind of money to continue whatever it is they are doing — non-profits who pay their employees and leadership very, very well.

    And the worst thing about that article is that it sources numbers from so many disparate sources which cannot possibly agree on everything and every definition of any given thing. It’s a statistical mess which cannot be measured and is intended to make people “feel” things like guilt and fear.

    But I am very moved by the picture of the crying female at the top.

    I am sensitive to the topic. I have a half-sister who was molested by a friend of the family. The perpetrator went to jail because it was properly reported and all of that. In my youth, I was touched inappropriately as was my little bother. That too was reported and appropriately acted upon. These are objective facts, based on evidence and recorded in government reports and are likely part of government statistics. So let’s not assume the worst about me because I don’t like things with create doubt, fear, mistrust and even panic among people.

    It’s bad enough that the internet rumors about toilet snakes and spider bites.

    Finally, I have three sons — two grown (mostly) and one younger. I talk to them and know them well. I don’t think good families need to be reminded to protect our children. And of there are people who need such a reminder? I pray a warning would suffice but let’s be honest — people like that need a wake-up call and it’s often found inside of court rooms.

    It is crap like this which made it nearly impossible for me to remove my two [now] older sons from their insane and abusive mother. The systemic prejudice against men which is at the heart of the article supports all manner of things which DESTROY FAMILIES. Sure “up to 20 percent of abusers are female” which is a clear statement that 80 percent of abusers are male and goes a long way to proportionately demonize men and to sow and reinforce fear, doubt and mistrust forms of paranoia.

    Antifa people think they are doing good and I’m sure the writer also thinks she is doing good or helping in some way to prevent harm. Personal and direct experience shows this actually does more to destroy families and especially fathers, brothers, uncles and sons. Because while the mobs of concerned people are seeking out and finding a few bad guys out there, millions more are adversely and falsely harmed by all of this destroying countless relationships along with them.

    Bringing attention to this doesn’t change anything for the better– it’s part of the human condition. Murder, rape and even slavery still happens. But stoking fear like this does little to nothing to prevent while causing far, far more harm to innocent male victims out there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • stella says:

      It’s information. Not stoking fear.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Daniel says:

        I went into great detail to explain why that information isn’t really information. It’s not available for review and is about as accurate as the polls from the 2016 election which absolutely pegged Hillary for the win.

        Like

        • stella says:

          Do you know someone who has been abused? I do. Do you accept that children are abused? I do. The point really isn’t how many or what percentage of women or men have been abused. The point is to stop or prevent more children from being abused.

          This is a public service announcement, if you will. There are good tips for parents and grandparents contained in it.

          Why do you want to frame this as “stoking fear”. It’s a real thing.

          Liked by 3 people

          • Daniel says:

            Did you read what I wrote? *I* have been abused. My sister was abused.

            Liked by 1 person

            • stella says:

              Sorry. So you did. You wrote a lot of other stuff.

              Doesn’t change the fact that this article isn’t scare mongering. Now I’ll ask you: Did you read the entire article? There is a paragraph about the statistics she used at the very bottom.

              Liked by 1 person

              • Daniel says:

                I did. The tone and result of such articles, despite intent, feeds fear and paranoia the same way articles about snakes in toilets frighten people not to use public restrooms. But more, it also feeds the growing problem of government involvement in families and the encouraged destruction of families and the belief women have that they can have their cake (a former husband’s money) and eat it too. It is highly prejudiced and used in creating a growing welfare class and a destruction of the family.

                I get that the “intention” is protection of children. But the RESULTS are presently the destruction of the family (not good for children at all) and the death of the conservative culture of this country. The connection is very, very clear.

                If we were allowed to have freedom of association in this country and if there weren’t such government involvement in all things, it would be reasonable to teach our children stories like “Hansel and Gretel” the way we used to do — to teach children to not trust adults and not to take candy from them. It would also be reasonable to be shot or attacked if a stranger was caught approaching our children for ANY reason. We no longer live in such a society. We now live among strangers at all times in every direction.

                Telling people not to be stupid … has that ever worked?

                Like

                • stella says:

                  I don’t know what axe you are grinding, but I find it curious and interesting. I wonder what has happened to you to cause you to think the way that you do. So …. we should never talk about the ugly topic of abuse of children, which we all KNOW happens, and what we might do to protect kids?

                • dalethorn says:

                  The important thing is not more power to government to help stop abuse, which won’t work anyway for obvious reasons. The important thing is to get people to understand that our moral codes are under a vicious attack today, and we need a strong moral leadership to reverse the trend.

                  Like

                • deanbrh says:

                  Daniel, are you by chance a divorced father, sending a check every month to a woman who lied to the courts and got Child Protective Services involved? That’s a whole other topic that does deserve the outrage it gets because the government got involved where it didn’t belong at all.

                  Like

    • AM says:

      Wonderful post. Thank you for being another voice asking that we’re careful about what information we use in advocacy work.

      Like

  9. Bouchart says:

    The claim that one in five girls and one in twenty boys were the victim of sexual abuse strikes me as odd, since in the past decades there have been plenty of stories about Catholic priests abusing boys. I’d think those numbers would be reversed.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Marian says:

    Here’s a bit of advice, taken from a friend. Mom, don’t let Dad spend bedtime in your daughter’s room.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Daniel says:

      …and there you go… destroy the family. Dad’s don’t normally do that and there aren’t good reasons for it. But the statement goes a long way to throw a dirty, stinky, wet blanket over all fathers. Thanks.

      Like

      • wolfmoon1776 says:

        Ideas that men simply cannot be trusted – which are common now – are a product of divisive left-feminism – “all men are r&pists.” We used to hear that mantra over and over and over. It’s garbage used to further identity group politics.

        The question is really whether the father is demonstrating AND insisting on appropriate behavior at all times. Fathers demonstrate proper behavior to daughters, so they will EXPECT IT from men when they grow up.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I beg to differ – yes, “Dads” DO commit sexual assault!!!!! I KNOW THIS FIRST HAND!!!! Thankfully, they are not the “majority” of Dads…..

        Liked by 2 people

        • Daniel says:

          “Don’t normally” does not mean never. So we are in agreement. Sorry for your difficulty. Did you consult with your mother to discuss what went wrong with their marriage that he or she lost interest in that aspect of their relationship? Just guessing based on my own experiences but generally speaking, men are very easily satisfied so long as the wife remains consistent. Men don’t generally get bored of that. Just saying — but not to belittle your troubles in any way. Genuinely sorry to hear about that.

          Like

          • stella says:

            No, Daniel, frigid wives don’t create pedophiles. They are usually pedophiles before they are married, then move on to victimize their own daughters/sons.

            Liked by 3 people

            • Menagerie says:

              THAts like the train of thought that priests would never have abused kids if they didn’t have to be celibate. Rubbish.

              Liked by 1 person

              • stella says:

                Normal men are not sexually attracted to children.

                Liked by 3 people

                • No, no they aren’t, and frankly this thread has been hijacked so badly I wish it would just be reposted or something. My sister’s husband that raped her at 25, as I mentioned above, also molested her two daughters. I couldn’t care less about statistics, and the bottom line is as horrible it is to have to educate our innocent against such disgusting dangers, it is an absolute necessity.

                  Thank those of you who only meant to further said education to ALL involved that might not be aware. Watching my two nieces lives destroyed by drug abuse and rampant sexual escapades as the end result is devastating.

                  Liked by 2 people

          • deanbrh says:

            OMG, Daniel, you just disqualified yourself from educated discussion! “…what went wrong with their marriage” is soooo Male Chauvanist Pig! You might be old enough to remember how Erectile Dysfunction was ALWAYS the fault of the “frigid” female spouse UNTIL Viagra went on the market and men started admitting they couldn’t get it up with ANY female, much less their own spouse. But that didn’t stop them from trying!

            Like

        • dalethorn says:

          Thankfully they’re not, but they multiply. To stop the spread, we need strong moral leadership from church to school to family, and those who resist being part of that moral circle will probably be obvious to everyone. As many have already said, the worst offenders aren’t as secret as a lot of people think – people know who they are, but little is done because so many of our communities are broken up now.

          Like

    • Michael says:

      STOP THIS BLANKET STATEMENT CRAP NOW !
      I bathed my daughter until she started kindergarten.
      (Meaning I sat on the throne reading a book whilst she splashed around in the water)
      I tried to explain the world was full of sick people who might try to put her daddy in jail if they heard I gave her her bath each night and so I could not sit with her in the bathroom any longer. How do you tell that to a child?

      I have been prom and homecoming dress shopping. The entire Mr Mom thing after pulling pipe wrenches all day. I have chaperoned sleepovers as a single male parent and please most of her friends parents had enough faith in me to permit my daughter having as normal a life I could provide.

      Like

  11. Carolina Girl says:

    I agree with Michael’s comment. Sexual abuse is horrendous as is rape. I believe the consequences resulting from being abused can be mitigated but are never forgotten. However, our society has twisted sexual abuse along with pretty much everything else. I realize that any type of abuse of children is a special kind of evil. But then there are incidents like Duke Lacrosse. My mother taught me when I was a teenager that crying rape when there has been no rape is just as bad as raping someone, because the liar is making it harder for a true victim to be believed. I shall always believe that Anita Hill lied about Clarence Thomas because he rejected her advances. It’s a story as old as the Bible. Remember Potipher’s wife? (Not sure about that spelling.)

    The so-called rape culture backlash on college campuses has reached a fever pitch with their kangaroo courts and ridiculous claims of women’s purity and inability to lie like a rug. And those sex offender lists have been rendered almost meaningless by the inclusion of teenage boys who got caught by dads who didn’t like them and other such hapless perpetrators.

    I know the article is about children being abused, but some comments were about other issues involving sex crimes. Thus, my two cents worth.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Daniel says:

      You might note there is a distinct decrease in fathers in homes thanks to family courts and a certain and definite loss of mothers (and fathers) teaching their children ANYTHING about life. That learning is now relegated to the electronic pacifiers known as PCs and smartphones.

      Liked by 2 people

  12. dalethorn says:

    I came home from school one day at 17 years old to see mom and my 3 sisters gathered around the chair. “Where’s Dad?” “He’s sick”. “Is he in the hospital?” “He is”. “Which hospital?” “The veterans hospital.” Long story short, the mental hospital. Given a choice between jail and the mental hospital, he took the hospital. That was 1965. I had no idea that the same thing happened in 1950 when I was 2 and my brother was 3, but I overheard that phone conversation from an adjacent room. I wonder today who the victims were in 1950, but it’s too late to ask. Perhaps people are more alert today, but I question that. One sister married into the same thing, and it’s multi-generational for them now. Crazy I think, but it’s true. Another sister ended up with a satanist son, the other sister a drug addict died early. We were very civilized conservative church-going city folk.

    I have the awful feeling that it’s far worse than even a lot of pessimists think, since the coverups are so thorough.

    Liked by 4 people

  13. Bendix says:

    I was just the other day reminded of the sex abuse scandal within the Catholic Church, and I was thinking about how there were many parallels to The Swamp.
    Long before these crimes started making national headlines, there were whispers, and even direct knowledge and accusations of abuse. The response of the local dioceses was frequently to move the offender to another, unsuspecting parish, but otherwise do nothing.
    How does this relate to The Swamp? How many Democrats, basically good people, knew much more than we do about some of the disgusting and unlawful corruption within their party, how much of the MSM was complicit, and how many Republicans are the same way, although my personal believe the Republican corruption is to a lesser degree?
    People like my Senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, who I do not consider an evil woman, when asked about yet another sex scandal where the evil yet powerful Sheldon Silver was involved, got all mealy-mouthed and couldn’t manage to utter a word of condemnation.
    This is a woman who crusades against sexual assault within the military, and rightly so. You’d think she’d be against those types of crimes whenever and wherever they occur in government, but no. It’s one thing when generals and service members are involved, but elected officials and unelected top party officials?
    As bad as we eventually hear it is within the Uniparty, it is ten times worse.
    Those higher up in the hierarchy of the Catholic Church put the organization above living, breathing human beings they had a sworn duty to.
    Exactly like the Uniparty.

    Seth Rich was more than likely murdered because he couldn’t stomach the things he was learning as he became closer to the inside.
    Do I think he was murdered in retaliation for what he leaked? That cat was out of the bag.
    I believe he was murdered for what he was going to reveal.

    Liked by 3 people

    • The swamp infiltrated the Catholic Church years ago, in a scheme to bring Her down. There is a book called ‘Goodbye Good Men” about it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sharon says:

        It’s not just the Catholic church.

        Like

        • Sharon says:

          Oh – I’m a protestant. (not worth capitalizing any more – still a Christian but not too concerned about the capitalized titles).

          This thread illustrates why the solutions and the problems are murky: productive conversation is hard to come by any more.

          Liked by 4 people

          • Daniel says:

            That’s the greatest thing about protestant Christianity — it removes or reduces that central, unquestionable authority which is so often abused. Same problem with government. I once made a Hillary supporter begin to think differently about “big government” after President Trump was elected. I told her “It shouldn’t matter who is in office if the government wasn’t so powerful… if you’re afraid of President Trump you should be in favor of limiting government power.” That started her on her journey “right.”

            Liked by 1 person

  14. RedBallExpress says:

    Those who don’t believe the statistics: I have a neighbor that almost certainly abused his daughter. (About 10 people saw him with his arm up her dress) His son did abuse the daughter who is his full sister and she confirmed it. Nothing was ever done about it except the daughter moved 2 states away. These people are the pillars of the community and church by the way. The son is now the volunteer girls basketball coach. Everyone in that family knows what he is up to and could care less. There isn’t a lot I can do (the police have been alerted) but I swore if I ever met the parent of one on the basketball girls they were going to get a thorough education on their wonderful coach. Mission Accomplished.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Beenthere says:

      You need to do it NOW!

      Liked by 1 person

      • RedBallExpress says:

        Just to be clear I did educate a basketball mother. I had her in tears. I am confident her daughter is safe. The biggest thing these clowns have going is no one believes it can happen to them.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Good luck in your quest RedBall but prepare to be treated like a pariah.

      These guys get away with this because they are very good at manipulating everyone.

      You will probably be met with a lot of pushback.

      If you have a lot of stamina you might get somewhere.

      Liked by 2 people

      • RedBallExpress says:

        Thanks for the encouragement. I have done what I could for over 20 years. I will never give up. Some people see the light and try to help. Most don’t want to get involved and I don’t blame them. It is very frustrating.

        Like

  15. Founding Fathers Fan says:

    A boy scout leader put his hand between my legs and I told my dad. He beat me for ‘telling lies’ about a ‘good catholic’. I told a priest at our church, who told my dad and I was beaten again. In 1959 there was nowhere to escape to.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Daniel says:

      …there was more at stake in those days — position in society, the rumor mill had a LOT more consequence than today’s increasingly anonymous society offers. Condolences for the experience. I was born at the tail end of the era of “children should be seen but not heard.”

      Liked by 1 person

  16. fleporeblog says:

    Who cares about whether the statistics are right or wrong! These animals should all be shot if I were running the country. They would get to be with their maker in HELL for all eternity.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Daniel says:

      …right… but how do you tell when there are lies being told? And there are a lot of lies being told… about everyone… about our President no less. Emotion+Action has enduring results in Reality. Let’s not get as crazy as some people clearly are.

      Like

    • Bob Thoms says:

      The stats are important; maybe not in this thread, but when you start to get into policy decisions, funding, civil liberty issues, how big the problem is very important.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Menagerie says:

    The replies to this post illustrate the difficulty in dealing with this problem. The quest for one real, absolutely accurate number that we can all agree upon seems to greatly exceed concern for chrildren who are victims.

    And I believe that those who have never been victimized, or have close relationships with victims, drastically underestimate the rate of occurrences.

    When I originally wrote this post, I thought that children who were abused were victims of evil mentally ill people.

    I now have been educated and understand there is a movement to deliberately sexualize young children. Some parties believe this will break down barriers against homosexuality, that all sex will be seen as good, and all relationships, including familial ones, will be, and should be, open to sexuality.

    It is a major problem in society.

    I did not seek to sensationalize statistics. If I reference one in five and the actual number is one in eight, that was first, not intentional, and yet again, there is no one final number.

    I thought the post was built around information, not numbers.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Daniel says:

      The best answer? Women staying home with the children. Men work for their family. Strangers are always unwelcome. Children do not need unsupervised access to technology definitely do not need electronic pacifiers.

      Best answer is to push back to a more old fashioned style of living. My wife stays home. My little one plays piano, rides a bicycle, is mastering swimming, draws a lot of pictures and yes… plays video games a bit and watches TV in one of two languages… with proper limits by time as duration and as scheduled.

      There are reasons for these choices. Why people choose to compromise on those priorities escapes me. Why must there be two incomes? Isn’t that why I have a life insurance policy in the first place? Isn’t that why I should have a healthy investment for retirement or ‘the unforeseen’?

      We went full-bore into a consumer-driven society where two parents working means we can buy more stuff and be like all the other consumers out there. We allowed the government more control and influence in our family lives and allowed forced association with strangers in all manner of areas and ways in our lives.

      Best answer is to change the lifestyle as close to the way things were as possible because the problems under discussion are in no small part caused by the changes, departures and compromises made long ago.

      Like

      • stella says:

        What about fathers who sexually abuse their daughters or sons? It happened with my aunt’s husband (he abused one daughter, and tried to abuse another one). This was in the 1920’s and 1930’s. My aunt turned a blind eye, or didn’t believe it (I don’t know). He was an executive at an automotive company, and she was a stay at home mother, with four boys and two girls.

        My mother knew about it (she was born in 1906) and said if it had been her husband, she would have cut off his offending appendage.

        Sexual abuse of children isn’t new.

        Liked by 3 people

        • Daniel says:

          There will always be “what if”s which aren’t as easily handled. Back in those days, a mother would tell her father and her husband would have an accident.

          It’s part of the human condition. Trying to reshape society to deal with something like that is pretty ill advised. We all just do the best we can. It’s like trying to avoid car accidents. It doesn’t matter how good or careful a driver you are — if you get on the road, there is a certain degree of vulnerability. It’s just that simple.

          MARRY GOOD MEN and the BE VERY LOVING TO THEM. I said it previously and women used to teach their daughters this very thing long ago — keep your men happy. Period. But mostly, be careful about men. In the past, the character of a man meant a lot. Now it’s whether or not they have six-pack abs or some other thing. No one looks at character the way they once did. In fact that’s why arranged marriages were so normal to begin with — young people respond to hormonal drives, not wisdom or good sense. Lots of wisdom discarded and people wonder why all these “new problems” occur. Turns out they aren’t new — they were solved or managed long ago and people forgot why we used to do the things we did.

          But ALSO, people were taught to deal with these problems in various ways without becoming brain-diseased maniacs. I was “touched.” My little brother was too. My half-sister was molested. None of it was right but it didn’t ruin our lives. But no one turned a blind eye to it either. It was “managed.” It wasn’t about us at all. So prevention is part of it, but if/when it does manage to happen, there are ways of managing that too. But trying to change the world or to otherwise view the world as a huge and dangerous enemy is not the way. Risk management.

          This is all why family is important and community is important and outsiders are not supposed to be trusted. Facebook redefined “friend” and now the term is worthless. Communism requires changing everything about us in order to work… and even then it doesn’t work because some elements of the human condition are natural and you can “F” with natural and expect good results.

          But as I’ve said in comments above. I have two older sons. They take care of and defend their little brother as old fashioned brothers did ages ago. My middle son truly listens to my advice… the oldest, not as much. The older ways are working pretty well in my family.

          Like

          • stella says:

            I don’t disagree with you, except on one point. Whether or not a woman keeps her man happy has absolutely nothing to do with his tendency to be a pedophile. A normal man would go seduce his neighbor’s wife, not his own daughter.

            Liked by 3 people

    • keeler says:

      To the extent that I contributed to that perception, it was unintentional. Nor at any point did I believe you or anyone here was sensationalizing any information.

      As I detailed in an earlier response, my intention is not to quibble over exact numbers but to urge caution for others who want get into using statistics and to be diligent when doing so.

      And I urge this because as you have outlined, there are those who wish to normalize sexuality among children. I can foresee these monsters seizing on “bad stats” to argue they’re being “persecuted” or are subjects of a “witch hunt” because the “real numbers” show child sexual abuse is over-stated.

      In the end, the moral argument that sexualizing young children is the most powerful one we have, and stands above any statistical data.

      I do appreciate both yourself and Stella opening this discussion participating in its development, both of which are unpleasant and difficult to do considering the topic.

      I hope this has cleared up any misunderstanding and makes it clear I appreciate your collective efforts.

      Like

      • keeler says:

        Important Correction: In the end, the moral argument that sexualizing young children is evil the most powerful one we have, and stands above any statistical data.

        Like

        • Daniel says:

          Agreed. We need to destroy Disney. What once was the symbol of wholesome entertainment now sexualizes children in ways I find intolerable.

          Like

    • “I now have been educated and understand there is a movement to deliberately sexuality young children. Some parties believe this will break down barriers against homosexuality, that all sex will be seen as good, and all relationships, including familial ones, will be, and should be, open to sexuality.”

      It’s the LBGTQ lobby that is insisting that children are capable of making decisions regarding their own sexuality. This is designed to normalize pedophilia and gender dysphoria. There are children as young as 9 that are going through sex changes. It’s sickening what is happening to them. If that isn’t child abuse I don’t know what is.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Bob Thoms says:

      Well in all honesty, you opened your post with a set of stats and data points that were intended to shock and frame your argument. In a sense you used stats to draw us in. It worked.

      Like

  18. teaforall says:

    ,
    Menagerie
    Thank You for bringing this topic to the forefront. Children of all ages are sexually abused and exploited. Most families will suffer from this abuse, and most are never reported out of fear. I know multiple people that were abused and never told anyone as a child. There needs to be not only awareness but support for those that suffer this pain as adults. My Daughter was raped in college and reported the rape, to the college I was 7 hrs away and called the Dean to report the rape . We drove in the middle of the night to be there for her, The college was very supportive. The college expelled her perpetrator. To this day the pain never goes away.

    Tea

    Liked by 3 people

  19. wolfmoon1776 says:

    One reason I believe that problem is bad – despite being HUGELY skeptical of the BASIS of the current numbers – is the combination of (1) my own experiences, which include MULTIPLE events, and (2) discussions with other boys during adolescence, almost every one of whom had some story. I’ll get to my own story in a second, but the point about discussions actually points out a protocol that probably WOULD get good numbers.

    Based on my experiences, when a group of kids or adolescents starts comparing notes on “creepy sexual stuff”, all kinds of gossip and confessions come out. It is the actual act of discussion that REMINDS kids of things, because mention of one thing cues recognition of another in the style of “Oh, yeah! Something kinda like that happened to me, too.” The act of confession also encourages others to speak up. So my feeling is that many people who would say “No” are going to quickly remember something and talk about it is a GROUP INTERVIEW process. Then the incidents can be classified and enumerated, without self-classification by the participant, which (IMO) tends to be unreliable.

    Indeed, it was one such discussion which WARNED me of a specific pedophile, whose approach was known (grooming boys with porno which transitioned from hetero to gay). Sure enough, he tried it on me, and I evaded right from the beginning, based on tips from our discussion.

    Now – two of the OTHER incidents in my life were in Boy Scouts, and one of them is very instructive. I’ll talk about that one for the benefit of others. Feel free to share this with your kids.

    In this case, when I was a young teen (junior high) on a long camping trip at an established site, a scoutmaster from a DIFFERENT troop, “culled me out” during a joint function which involved multiple troops sleeping out under the stars. As we were walking back to our individual troop campsites, he used a combination of tricks to separate me from the other boys, then “forced” me to take a shower with him in an isolated campsite area. By that time, I was in a very dangerous situation – he was much larger than me, and we were far away from ANYBODY else. It was very much like the Jerry Sandusky Penn State shower scenario, only nobody else around. But keeping my wits about me, I was able to limit him to seeing me naked, but no more, by a variety of techniques (always facing him, never closing my eyes, keeping the shower-pole between us, and making it clear that any escalation would be extremely messy). His angry, predatory nature came through in a big way. He clearly wanted more, and was angry I was not going to comply, but knew it wasn’t worth it. I seem to recall some kind of veiled threat behind a lot of denial after it was over, but I honestly don’t remember much about how we parted, because I was very much in “survival mode” at that point – treating him like a predatory animal, and not even listening to his words other than to gauge his immediate intent.

    I think THAT was actually part of the secret to getting out – I just made myself the most potentially vicious little critter I could. He settled for the EASY spoils, rather than taking a risk for more. I think he also figured he would “get away with it” if he didn’t escalate – that I wouldn’t report him. And I didn’t. This was back in the day, when most kids simply would not report such a thing. I know it’s hard to believe now, but people also drove drunk back then, and nobody batted an eye.

    Hopefully that story will help at least one kid get out of a similar situation.

    Liked by 3 people

  20. teaforall says:

    To ALL Our Troopers that have suffered from sexual abuse. I AM SENDING ALL OF YOU A GREAT BIG HUG………………….Tea

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Bob Thoms says:

    Im sorry I asked for a source for the statistics.

    It was the opening sentence to Menagerie’s post so I thought the stat was important. I accept that it isn’t in the framework of this thread.

    I also know too many are abuse victims. What we do going forward is important.

    Stella and Menagier you are very much in tune with the abuse issue. What should we be doing that we are not – as individuals and collectively as a society?

    Im open to hearing your thoughts. Thank you.

    Like

    • Menagerie says:

      I refer back to the body of the post. Keep an eye on your children, grandchildren, neighbor’s children. Make it difficult to get to the child. Make it clear that children in your orbit are watched, protected, valued, believed. Send out the signal that any attempted harm to them will cost more than the perpetrator is willing to risk.

      Question everything and everyone. Never just allow your child to go places with people you don’t know. Question other parents. Be involved in school and scouting and other activities.

      Teach your children to be safe, and to be vocal in their refusal of unwanted touch, words, or pictures. Teach them to follow their instincts. Don’t let them go out into the world of the internet, or even phone texting, too young. Say no to risky situations and activities. Supervise and restrict all social media activities.

      Be involved, be knowledgeable, and present children with different role playing possibilities. Have a safe word.

      And make this a part of your life, not a once and done conversation. Raise awareness among friends and peers, other parents.

      Educate yourself. One of the priests in our parish monthly teaches the mothers how to protect their children from threats, including pornography, which is a huge threat.

      Liked by 3 people

  22. srr says:

    The “P’s” of the ever growing ‘Alphabet people’ have come very far in normalizing sex with children, not only in ‘entertainment’, but also In LAW, in many ways, including ‘criminalising’ parents who dare to try to protect their very young children from Government Mandated Programmes such as “Safe Schools” (where they literally teach kids to be all sorts of sexual and keep it secret from their parents), in Australia; one of the many branches of CSE being pushed by the UN and Planned Parenthood.

    This has been out for a while, and even though I’ve been sharing it a lot, Google still likes to pretend it doesn’t exist and sends me everywhere but to this specific search, so please, save it and share it far and wide –

    The War on Children: The Comprehensive Sexuality Education Agenda HD

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bob Thoms says:

      Im on the fence. Sexually regressive societies seem to have more abuse problems than societies that are more open (sexually).

      I think of the Catholic Church as a prime example.

      Maybe I am wrong. But it seems to me to be that way.

      Thoughts?

      Like

      • Menagerie says:

        You consider belief that sex should be within the bounds of sacramental marriage regressive?

        Like

        • Michael says:

          Michael keep your mouth shut on this one.

          Like

        • Bob Thoms says:

          No. That isn’t what I was asking.

          Sexually regressive societies – I think Ireland circa 1920, or Muslim countries today – are sexually regressive and also have higher rates of abuse? The catholic church in the 1950s – 1970s got away with widespread abuse because our attitudes about sex was regressive – didn’t talk about it. Children were never taught about boundaries because of regressive attitudes about sex.

          While more sexually open societies (Finland) have lower rates.

          Like

    • Indimex says:

      Thank you for posting. I’d heard something about this, but didn’t have a resource to share. This is vile. Demonic. Hideous. And I will be sharing it with anyone that will listen.

      Like

  23. srr says:

    CHILD SEXUAL EXPLOITATION HAS MANY GUISES

    http://www.stop-cse.org/

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Bob Thoms says:

    Question:

    What countries have the lowest rates of reported abuse?

    I am thinking it would mono cultural societies like Japan, Denmark, Finland. Mono cultural societies have stronger family units? Is this the key factor. More open sexuality? I don’t know I am just rambling for answers.

    Like

  25. srr says:

    What is Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE)?
    OVERVIEW:

    Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) is one of the greatest assaults on the health and innocence of children. This is because unlike traditional sex education, comprehensive sexuality education is highly explicit and promotes promiscuity and high-risk sexual behaviors to children as healthy and normal. CSE programs have an almost obsessive focus on teaching children how to obtain sexual pleasure in various ways. Yet, ironically, comprehensive sexuality education programs are anything but comprehensive as they fail to teach children about all of the emotional, psychological and physical health risks of promiscuous sexual activity. The ultimate goal of CSE is to change the sexual and gender norms of society, which is why CSE could be more accurately called “abortion, promiscuity, and LGBT rights education.” CSE is a “rights-based” approach to sex education and promotes sexual rights to children at the expense of their sexual health. Click here to see numerous examples of many of the harmful components of CSE programs directly from various CSE program manuals.

    The Deceptive CSE Agenda
    Comprehensive sexuality education is usually disguised with innocuous sounding names like human rights education, gender equality education, or sexual and reproductive health education or information. CSE is typically taught to children at the youngest of ages, often without the knowledge or consent of their parents.

    Since opposition to CSE programs is increasing as more and more parents are learning about its explicit nature, CSE advocates have become better at disguising it. For example some CSE programs are called “abstinence plus” programs when they have little or no focus on abstinence and largely focus on sexual pleasure. Just because a program is not specifically labeled “comprehensive sexuality education” does not mean it is not CSE. So programs called “sexual education,” “sexuality education,” ”sex education,” or a number of other things, can still be CSE if they have many of the harmful elements of CSE regardless of how it is labeled.

    Increasingly, government officials are pressured at the United Nations and elsewhere to accept “comprehensive sexuality education” without ever seeing the actual curricula or understanding its graphic nature. In fact, in several instances, UN ambassadors have been manipulated into giving speeches on the UN floor promoting CSE as the solution to many world problems, without realizing what they are promoting.

    Later, however, when they see the actual content of CSE programs, they are aghast as they learn how CSE promotes radical sexual ideologies and behaviors that conflict with the religious and cultural values of most people. (Click here to see links to excerpts from CSE programs.)
    Who Promotes or Profits from CSE?
    Click here for an extended list of CSE supporters >

    Comprehensive sexuality education is promoted by powerful and respected organizations such as the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC), International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF), the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), and UN agencies such as the World Health Organization (WHO), UNAIDS, UNESCO, UNICEF, and UNFPA. Even the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (WAGGGS) promotes CSE. (See http://www.100QuestionsfortheGirlScouts.org.)

    In addition, CSE is heavily promoted at the UN and at national and state legislatures by paid lobbyists of multi-million dollar organizations and businesses (the most prominent being International Planned Parenthood) that profit from services they provide to young people and adults who are sexually active. In fact, it is not unusual for these lobbyists to become members of official UN delegations without the governments understanding the deceptive sexual CSE agenda the lobbyists are intending to promote.

    Lucrative “sexual and reproductive health care services” can include sexual counseling, family planning, contraception, condoms, abortion, testing and treatment for STIs, and HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment, as well as related commodities, pharmaceuticals, vaccines, etc. The early sexualization of children through CSE can create lifelong paying customers for these services, so this is big business.

    Click here to see a recent example of how a UN delegation was compromised by a CSE lobbyist who managed to get on the Ugandan delegation.
    Click here to see the extensive steps International Planned Parenthood and UN agencies have taken to manipulate African governments to accept comprehensive sexuality education.
    Click here to learn more about those who profit from and promote or fund comprehensive sexuality education.

    Get the Facts and Decide for Yourself
    Advocates of comprehensive sexuality education programs claim that among other things, CSE programs will reduce teen pregnancy and STD infections and that they do not sexualize children. However, as you explore the documentation on this site, including research on CSE programs, you can judge for yourself if these claims are true or whether the exact opposite may be true. And remember, the health and innocence of our children are at stake.

    http://www.comprehensivesexualityeducation.org/what-is-cse/

    Liked by 1 person

  26. spacette55 says:

    Jake Morphonios’ Youtube Channel, End Times News Reports, documents many opportunities for child sexual abuse online; games, chatrooms and Facebook, etc.

    Like

    • Daniel says:

      None of that would be possible without giving children smart phones or any of that “world facing” stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

      • spacette55 says:

        Our family started online pre-internet with Prodigy on the cutting edge technology of the time, a 386 PC. It was set up in the kitchen dining area where everyone could freely view whatever the user was doing. Now every 6 year old has a tablet, if not a laptop.

        Like

  27. Bob Thoms says:

    Im interested in the policy implications of the issue, so stats and data points are important.

    Like

  28. FofBW says:

    Thank you Menagerie.

    BTW – I am enjoying your recommended book, ‘Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence’.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. srr says:

    Please excuse some of the language, but it’s very mild compared to what The UN, Planned Parenthood et al are forcing onto our very young children –

    Meet Britain’s FIRST Gender Fluid Family (SICK)
    Deplorable Brit

    Aug 14, 2017
    I saw articles trending about the first gender fluid family in Britain. It made me so angry that I had to rant about it. How is this not child abuse? Share if you agree with my video and thumb up/subscribe of course. Peace.

    Like

  30. LKA in LA says:

    Thank you Menagerie for posting. I would like to add one sign my family never noticed after improper contact by more than one family member, eye contact. I never made eye contact again with the evil people of lies. If your children avoid a person, refuse eye contact with a person, look into it. I carroed their secrets but never looked at them again, even if standing next to them.

    Liked by 2 people

  31. Ringelnatz says:

    My suggestion, to add to some good ones above:
    If something or someone does not feel right–trust your instincts! (Although you cannot rely on instincts to protect you and your family, you should pay attention to any warning you may get.)
    On my first job out of school, one of the principal owners of my first new employer—a man who was also my mentor on the job–was a very busy person. So busy that if he stopped to talk with me at work, I almost felt like I was imposing on him by taking up his time. He had a very large Brady-Bunch type family (2nd marriage and both spouses had full custody of their kids from previous marriages). My wife and I and our 4-year-old daughter attended the same church as his family.
    One day at church he asked me whether my wife and I had been able to get out and spend some time together. He offered his daughters as sitters, if we wanted, for our daughter.
    The whole exchange struck me as strange, partly because he was always so busy, maybe, but mainly it just felt weird. We never took him up on it.
    Within a few months to a year of the “sitting” offer, the man was indicted for felony child molestation. Scary.

    Liked by 3 people

  32. indiana08 says:

    I’ve known a few people who have been victims of child sexual abuse. Thank God I was never one of them. I remember when my dad had his cabin built by two co-workers who made a deal to use it during hunting season for their labor. My parents and I spent a weekend with one of those co-workers and his daughter, who was around my age at the time (10 or so). She acted really weird and at the time I didn’t know about how a child who are being sexually abused sometimes act. So I just thought she was crazy. Years later my dad found out that this now former coworker had been sexually abusing his daughters. Of course it made him sick that he had exposed me to someone like that (even though I was under parental supervision in the entire weekend). Just so sad and it can be anyone. Also my older cousins (before I was born) were both molested by my aunt’s husband. Now my dad knew that guy was off. My aunt and the child abuser divorced not long after my aunt found out. I don’t think she pressed charges. My cousin said he thought the sexual abuse was why he was gay. Even as an adult he displayed some of the characteristics of the young girl I spent that weekend with. So sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Michael says:

    I would like to recommend everyone read this book!

    The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by
    Bessel A. van der Kolk

    Doubly so if you have seen combat or if you or someone you know has suffered sexual abuse!
    This may well be the most important thing I have ever read!!
    My stress level has seen a tremendous drop and my attitude improved as well.

    https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/26542319-the-body-keeps-the-score-brain-mind-and-body-in-the-healing-of-trauma

    Like

  34. sobriquet4u says:

    Thank you Menagerie for again bringing this painful and horrific subject to the forefront. I worry so much about the sexual abuse of children and how it is effecting them mentally as adults.
    So many do not realize that this was almost a norm as far back as the seventeenth century and forward. Steven Mintz wrote an interesting but also disturbing article in 2012 “Placing childhood sexual abuse in historical perspective.”
    I almost tend to agree with Moira Greyland when she said. ” I have been silent for entirely too long. Gay “marriage” is nothing but a way to make children over in the image of their “parents” and in ten to thirty years, the survivors will speak out.” The idea of the LGBT society has been forced and brainwashed upon us by celebrities and the P.C. crowd to the point that many accept this abuse as normal. When did our society become so accepting of this war on our children starting while they are in the womb (abortions) and then continuing through out childhood and on into young adulthood. Is it no wonder we see so many disturbed young people self abusing their bodies and taking their angry into the streets? I’m sad very sad.

    Liked by 3 people

  35. Jimmy Jack says:

    I would like to STRONGLY encourage any parents in this thread to NEVER put any cameras into your kids bedrooms. Honestly, I’d suggest none inside the house at all. They are easily hackable – even when password protected – and perverts will look at your kids when they change, sleep etc.

    These cameras also give a predator the ability to stake out your daily habits and know what the floor plan of your house is. Your IP address can be traced to your doorstep (and be sure to turn off the location feature of FB, Twitter etc which gives an exact real time location).

    I’ll give you a scenario. Let’s say a predator took a liking to your child who they’ve been watching on your camera. Let’s say they can figure out your kid’s room is upstairs and they take a nap from 1 – 3 and that you are on your treadmill with headphones on or in the shower at this time. They could easily get into your home while you are distracted and snatch (or sexually assault) your child, possibly with an hours long lead time to get away.

    Don’t laugh. There’s a story today in DM about a woman whose cameras were made open online when her kids played a video game and received 571 likes by strangers who’d been watching them in their bedrooms. A woman on FB noticed and somehow got word to the mother to warn her.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4796346/Mother-horrified-realizes-kids-webcam-hacked.html

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bob Thoms says:

      A small percentage of abuse cases are because of strangers doing what you describe. The risk of what you describe is minuscule compared to larger benefits of surveillance.

      Cameras record abuse that is occurring; especially in situations when parents are unaware such abuse is going on. Camera files become evidence for abuse cases. And god forbid, should an abduction occur, parents have additional forensic evidence.

      IMO, the benefits of surveillance far outweighs any risk of which you talk about.

      The number of cases of care givers caught abusing children and the elderly on hidden cameras is astonishing.

      Like

  36. Bob Thoms says:

    time out? Why?

    Like

  37. Scrapiron says:

    The abuse stays with the victims forever. 44 years married, 2 adult children and 6 grandchildren later, I still remember sexual abuse including penetration, being tied up, urinated one and forced to perform oral sex not once but, many uncountable times over 4 years buy an older cousin, his sick friends and older men in the neighborhood. It was a well kept secret.

    At 61 I still remember. I don’t care about statistics, it happens more than folks will admit.

    Liked by 3 people

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