Life has not been the same for an eight year old Kenyan boy named Jamil Obuya since that fateful day last week when he was playing on his family’s farm in Mombasa.  Jamil and his friends were playing hide the goat, when suddenly he darted behind a bush and discovered the opening to an unknown cave.  When the boys reached the back of the cave, they were surprised to find a small leather pouch with only a faded piece of paper tucked carefully inside. 

His parents Kamail and Amali Obuya were elated, and they immediately rushed to tell the news of their son’s discovery to fellow townsfolk.  Mr. Obuya, seemingly unaware of why his son’s discovery had led to so much controversy said, “I thought President Obama would be thrilled to know that he is a native born Kenyan”.  Mrs. Obuya was later overheard shouting to friends, “Mwana wa uasherati mbuzi”….which in Swahili roughly translates as, “That son of a goat’s wh-re”.  The Obuyas are currently staying at an undisclosed location and are unavailable for further comment.